I walked into Josie's that night with five to go platters from "Mabel's Southern Cuisine" That had been the name of her establishment...but to most of us...we still referred to it as "Mabel's Soul Food joint. That not withstanding...I brought five platters, three fried chicken platters with collard greens, potato Salad and candied sweets, two fried fish platters with baked macaroni and cheese,collard greens and cornbread.
My wife Sepia, Bonita, her business partner, Robert Foxworth, the attorney and their client, a foxy
young woman named Freda Jordan was sitting in the booth we had...I walked in and Robert Foxworth immediately helped me unload the dinners on the table...Everybody clapped mockingly as we unloaded the food on the table.
''Alright...Alright...Alright...where are the drinks?" I said with a laugh....
"We didn't want our ice to melt waiting for you dear." said my wife Sepia...
"Yeah Kevin....come on man and open up those containers....I got everybody's drink order...I know what you're drinkin....Corona right?" said Robert..
"Yeah man...grab me two..I'm thirsty." I said.
"Oh well now, then I guess Sepia will be driving you home tonight." laughed Freda...a very pleasant young woman who had just bought a house from Sepia and Bonita.
"Hey,Hey now" came the voice of my buddy and co-worker, Sean Jackson....He and his wife Sheila and our good friends, Conrad and Jill Nelson came in with to go containers too and inhabited the booth right behind us....
"What's up Sean?" I said as we gave each other dap....
"You got the hot hand Kev...What is this , Caberet night?" he laughed...
"Yeah...I see you had the same idea huh?" I laughed...
"Yeah..Mabel is busy over there tonight...Vicky, Anita and Corrie is workin...They got Clerow making deliveries...hahahahahaha." laughed Sean...
"Damn...on his night off too.." I said as we all laughed.
Honey Brown came over with our drinks and we all enjoyed Reed Nelson and his band... They were back after being gone for months...Everybody packed Josies on the Friday night that he was playing... Just then, a big hulking , good looking young man named Gordon Chesley wandered over to our table...
''Ummmmm...Ummmmmmph....Looky here, Looky here....It all looks good...and I aint just talkin about the fried chicken and the fried fish either....lawdddd jesusssss." he said ,obviously talking about Freda Jordan. Freda blushed and we all laughed...
"Aww boy, you know just come over here for one of my chicken wings." I joked as he laughed good naturedly. He was tall, six foot four, good looking and very gregarious..He lived down the street from me...He had just moved in the neighborhood last year....He came from Alabama...Had been married twice and was now single once again...He was always on the prowl for a woman!
"The name is Gordon Chesley...I suppose you can tell that I'm from the south." he said to Freda.
"No, I don't guess she'd ever guess that." said Robert Foxworth dryly as we all laughed.
"I'm Freda Jordan. Pleased to make your acquaintence." she said.
"Pleased to make your acquaintence...Listen to that! I love a woman with class.." Laughed Gordon.
Reed Nelson and the band started playing a fast number.....Sepia and I, Robert and Bonita, Sean & Sheila, Conrad & Jill and yes, Gordon and Freda hit the dance floor....We were all having a great time... Drinking,Dancing, Laughing ,Talking and of course eating...I noticed that Gordon and Freda were dancing long after we all sat down and were talking a good deal of the night...She did have on a rather tight dress that was hugging every curve and given the amount of alcohol Gordon had imbibed....It was damn near impossible for him to keep his hands to himself...
Freda removed his hands from her rear end, from her breasts and off of her hips several times and finally after his hands wandered a little too far up her legs and almost under her skirt..a loud slap was heard! There was a brief bit of silence....You could hear a pin drop!! This of course was not true because Reed Nelson was blowing his trumpet tonight....but we heard and saw the slap...
We were all embarrassed for Gordon...A nice enough fellow most of the time.
"I'm sorry....but I tried to give you a hint...you were getting just a wee bit too friendly." she said to him. He tried to play it off...He flashed that great smile of his and turned on his southern charm...
"I'm sorry baby, beggin yo pardon...can I buy you a drink to make it up?" he said.
"No that's okay...and I'm not your baby." she said. Clearly Freda was nobody's pushover.
"Could I give you a ride to your door?" He asked.
"Honey...I got a baby blue 2011 Lexus coupe outside....." she snapped.
"Oh.......Well...uh..ahhhh..once again...I'm very sorry." he said and got up and walked over to the bar. Gus had seen the entire episode...He laughed and laughed when Gordon walked over to the bar...Eventually, so did Gordon.
Hours passed by and we all had a great time....but it was time to go....Gordon had left an hour before...He drove a White 2011 Nissann Xterra...His pride had been hurt tonight...Didn't know if we'd see him for awhile... Anyway, we all said goodnight and went our seperate ways.... It was 2:45 am when Sepia and I drove up to our front door.
"Wow..I'm tired...I'm too tired for sex.." I joked.
"Fat chance of that....Kevin Morris...you know good and damn well you'll be all over me the minute I take my clothes off." she laughed.
"That's cause you look so sexy without your clothes on." I joked...
"Oh shut up" she laughed as we kissed in the doorway.
''Come on, let's go inside...we don't want to give the neighbors a show."said Sepia....
"What neighbors, who's up this time of morning?" I laughed..
"Oh come on inside." she laughed.
Once inside, I through her up against the wall and began kissing her passionately......I was about to open up her blouse when her Blackberry went off....
"Oh who the hell is that, this time of night? " I said angrily..
"I don't know...let me answer this." said Sepia. "It's Freda." she added.
"Freda?" I said.
"Sepia..." said Freda..
"Hey girl is everything alright???" asked Sepia
"My Car broke down...I'm stranded...I can't get it to start." she said.
"What? You just got that car." said Sepia..
"I know...I've never had a problem before....but it's definitely down..." she said.
"Where are you?"asked Sepia..
"I'm off Lincoln Drive...Not far from it....Can You or Kevin come and get me?" she asked..
"Sure thing doll..." said Sepia...
"Oh wait...Somebody is driving up.....oh my god.....heyyyyy....stoppppp....nooooooooooooo.....ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuargggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!
gghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" came the sound on the other end.
"Freda!!! Freda!!! What happened?? FREDDDDAAAAAAAA!" screamed my wife..
"What's goin on Sepia?" I asked, startled.
"Something's happened to Freda...Her car broke down..we gotta go find her Kevin!!!" said Sepia, visibly upset....
(TO BE CONTINUED........)
Weekend Humor -
1 day ago