/ I don't want to go home
alone again tonight....
and I've been sittin here in my car thinkin...
I deserve your love girl and this aint right...
I shouldn't be drivin, because I've been
/Another night alone without you...
just can't be good...
I sat in the bar watching him and
envying him and that's so uncool....
How could I be so misunderstood??/
/Come to think of it...
I've got so many other important things to do...
and one of em is...
getting over you......
but right now, I'm content to sit in my car alone
and ponder my next move...
what I'm gonna do..../
/The rain lightly falls....
I hear the soft pitter patter on the ground...
I hear other people's cell phones goin off...
but mine is empty, without any calls../
/I don't want to go home alone
I could pick up any one of these girls,
but I just wouldn't feel right...
I'd only be using her to get back at you...
I'd just be pretending for however long
that she was really you../
/Teardrop from eye...
rolling down the side of my face...
Watching you and him walk by....
it's a goddamn disgrace-
you know you oughta be with me-
I tried so hard to make you see.../
/Come to Think of it
I've got so many other important things
and one of them is-
gettin over you...
but right now all I can do is obsess...
and ponder my next move...
all I can do is digrest......
and start planning to get over you./
Sunday, August 31, 2008
/ I don't want to go home
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Saturday Morning 3:00 am
The Phone rings- Jazmine Sullivan singing "Need You bad" is the ring tone playing.
"Mabel...it's me, Clerow."
Click!- Dial Tone.......
Phone rings again.....
"Mabel please, don't hang up...I called to apologize to you."
"It doesn't seem like I'm the one that needs to be apologized to."
"I know I was a little rough...but Cora Beth is the reason we aint together."
"Nah she aint...You not bein able to keep your dick in your pants is the reason we aint together... man...an if you had jus waited, I was gon give you some....but I walk in the peach shed and you got my sister bent over the table..."
"I know...I know I done wrong Mabel, but I'm sorry...I'm sorry....I been sorry since it happened. All I've been doin is thinkin of how I could make it up to you, of how I could be with you... you're all I think about Mabel."
"Awww Clerow....you know I'm seein someone now...why don't you find you someone Clerow?
Wasn't you going with Pastor Struthers wife??"
"That wasn't nothin Mabel....That was a one night thing."
"Well my man is good to me and I'm not gonna cheat on him."
"Well alright Mabel.......uh Mabel?"
"What color panties are you wearing?"
"What? Oh now see you know you wrong don't you?"
"Come on now, tell me?"
"The kind you didn't get to see." she said.
"That's cold Mabel." said Clerow.
"I'm hanging up Clerow"
"Nah, don't hang up..."
"Byeeee Clerow..."she cooed.
"Hold on....is Cora Beth there? ...What kind of panties is she wearing?"
Clerow sat in his bed and laughed and laughed until he cried..
Friday, August 29, 2008
"Clerow, Ah Caint...Ah caint do what you're asking me to do...She's my sister and we just got to speaking again." said Cora Beth.
"Oh but you can gurl an you gonna...you owe me...if it wasn't for your triflin, hot ass, none of this
would have happened..Ah would still be with Mabel."
"Nobody told you to approach me...I was minding mah business...you the one who came up behind me an started kissing the back of my neck and fondlin my breasts."
"You had em out...you had on that flimsy blouse...that was opened..no bra on...jeans all low, so that your low riders was showin...how could I help it?"
"You was checkin me out like that Clerow?"
"You know you wanted me to...you seduced me...you little tramp" snapped Clerow who grabbed
Cora Beth's arm.....and then got close enough to her that his hot breath was literally scorching
her nose.. He wanted to make sure that she heard him... "And now you're gonna make this right,
"Clerow, you're hurting me." snapped Cora Beth
"You see this nice apartment you in? You like it? he snapped....
"Clerow, ah tole you that I was grateful..."
"Well, you're gonna do like I tell you or you gonna be out on your fat little ass..."
"Clerow, I'm pregnant!"
"Do I look like I give a merry damn? You aint but two months pregnant if that."
"Clerow, how am I supposed to seduce Mabel's man ?? He knows I'm pregnant..." she wailed.
"Seduce him like you seduced me, like you seduced poor departed Manly Jackson, I don't know....just do like you do."snapped Clerow.
"You really love my sister don't you?"
"More -n you'll evah know hooker."
"You don't have to talk to me like that."
"I'll talk to you anyway I want to talk to you and you'll do what I say or I'll-"
"OR YOU'LL WHAT?" came the voice that was all too familiar to them both.
Clerow managed a weak smile and said meekly - "Why Mabel honey...how long you been standing there" ? he asked innocently.
"Long enough to hear everything you been sayin to mah sister. I came over here to see how
her new apartment was doing and the door was opened so I came in...You never was good at
lockin doors Clerow....thas how I caught you two before.. Now take your hands off of my sister."
Clerow meekly obeyed.....but eased over towards a drawer, when he heard a click...He looked
up only to see Mabel brandishing a menacing .38 pistol....
"Oh and Clerow honey, you wasn't thinkin bout pullin no gun on the love of your life was
Clerow grinned ,showin all of his teeth- "Oh nah...noooo..what choo talkin bout gurl??"
"Good, cause I wouldn't want to have to put a part down the crease of your hair." she
said with a smile.
"Cora Beth, pack your things, you're coming with me...come on, don't tarry." said Mabel.
They packed and Mabel put the gun back in her purse.....She looked at Clerow with more pity
"Even if I had second thoughts about takin you back Clerow...Ah couldn't now ...you're
just not a nice man." she said as she and her sister eased out of the apartment.
Clerow watched them both walk down his block...Two sexy Black women.....lawd today!
Back to the drawing board he thought........and while he was up in his apartment , another woman with a gun stood in the alley beside his apartment...smoking a cigarette and silently
laughing to herself.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
/ You may think that you want me..
but I know you don't...
you say you can and you will
but we both know you won't...
and what's important now
is the way you don't really feel and how.../
/This is just somethin that you're going through....
"loving me is the wrong move.."
just somethin goin on with you..../
/Check it out
You've got a man at home
who you say ignores you and leaves you alone
and while that's sad, that's something the
two of you have got to work out..
and while right now it looks so attractive-
the feelings are not retro-active..
and baby girl-/
/ this is just something that you're going through
"loving me is the wrong move.."
something kind of funky goin on with you.../
/ I dreamed for awhile that we might
have a little something-
my feelings ran from hot to mild
and now I realize that we have nothing..
you want more than I'm willing to give
and right now I think it would be wise
if you returned to the man who vowed to
live for you.../
/ Look me in the eye and tell me a lie
tell me what we both know isn't true...
and while you may think that you do...
I'm really not the man for you...
/This is just Something that you're Goin
"Loving me is not the best move..."
Somethin going on with you....
Something that you're goin through....
Take a little time and think of what you're doin baby...
I'm not the right guy for you ...
This is just a little somethin you goin through girl.../
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
/No matter how long you live
or how much you see in this old world...
Nothing can confuse a guy more..
than when he meets that certain girl../
/I tracked her movemants like a fox
hunts a rabbit...
I made it my business to learn all of
the young girl's habits..
Made sure my Kenneth Cole sunglasses
hid my face...
so I could blend in at the exact time she'd
be arriving at a certain place../
/ I thought I was laying a tender trap...
but she caught me off guard like a sudden slap...
and like McNulty on the Wire, I thought I was close
to a conclusion...
but I got caught up in my desire , my flame doused
despite cleverness being my claim to fame...
I found that I was playing by the rules
of her game../
/Like Grisham on CSI,
I thought that I...
wrote the book..
but there was more than just one clue
She played the game with all the skill of Johnnie Cochran...
I should have seen the writing on the wall and stopped then..../
/I thought that I was laying the players tender trap...
but she caught my heart off guard like the slayers sudden slap...
despite cleverness being my claim to fame...
all the while I was playing by the-
rules of her game./
Sunday, August 24, 2008
/I'm not looking for the Red Sea to part..
I'm just looking for some truth from your heart..
I don't expect to hear people speaking in several different tongues..
but I would like to know that I am the one../
/ You never reveal the truth from your heart..
there are suspicions that I've had from the start..
that while I'm thinking that I might just be the one...
you're really just having a little fun../
/ please don't interupt ...
if I'm wrong..
please just help me clear this up...
then I'm gone...
I'm just looking for some kind of sign...
a sign from you that I'm not wasting my time../
/I don't need to be rescued from the lions den
but I need an emotional rescue..
tell me that I'm more than just your "brother"
or your friend..
I don't need to feel the heat of the burning bush
but I do have a burning question that needs an answer
,so perhaps you need a little push../
/but you hide from me how you really feel...
I never really am sure, just what is the deal..
Am I really the one?
or are you just having fun?/
/Please don't interupt me
I could be wrong...
just clear this matter up
and I'll be gone..
Sometimes a brother just needs a sign...
a sign from you that I'm not just wasting
Saturday, August 23, 2008
(Phone ringing....Jazmine Sullivan singing -"I broke the windows of your car"
is the ring tone.)
"Hello Stranger, how are you?"
"I'm hanging up now."
"Come on Mabel, you know who this is?"
"Clerow? ,Clerow is that you?"
"yeah girl...how come you don't call me?
we aint enemies you know....you said we could still
"You called me at two thirty in the mornin to ask me that?"
"What you got on girl?"
"What do I have on?"
"Yeah, what do you have on?"
"A Tee shirt and panties , why?"
"What kind of panties?"
"Clerow,I'm hanging up now."
"Come on girl...I'm here by myself and you're there by
"How you know I'm by myself."
"Cause if ole boy was there , you'd have turned your phone off,
this call would've gone straight to voicemail."
"If I tell you what you want to know will you hang up and let me
go back to sleep?"
"It's a pink string bikini panty with white floral print on it."
"Is the tee shirt short?"
"It comes to my hips."
"ummmmmmmmmmmmmm.............can I come over, I'm
not that far away, I just have to see you?"
"Nope...and I just told you what I have on...goodbye now,
I'm going back to sleep."
"Nah, don't hang up...don't....you got any fishnets?"
Clerow lay somberly in his bed ,staring at the ceiling...
His phone rang !
He picked it up...
"Uh Hello?" he answered...
To his surprise...It was Mabel....
"To answer your question....I do have fishnets...." she said.
"Yeah?? word!" he said.
"You can't see em." she said, then giggled...
"Yeah, I know....but I can dream can't I? And I still have my memories.." he sighed..
"Oh goddd yes...I have mine too." said Mabel in an unguarded moment...
"Let me come over....just tonight!" he said...
There was a long period of quiet....
"Nah...I can't...I can't do that Clerow." said Mabel...
"Then why did you call me back?" he asked ,trying not to sound to coarse...
"I-I-I don't know.." she said.
He thought of Mabel's huge breasts and he asked her again....
"Mabel...just for old times sake...Let me come over..." he pleaded...
"No Clerow...I can't....I shouldn't have called you back....I'm sorry." she said and she hung up....
Clerow lie in his bed, He sat up for a moment and just stared at the full moon.
Friday, August 22, 2008
How many Nights
must a girl sit lonely..
by two phones that just aren't going
and How many Nights
must a girl pine for you only...
and some lie you told about
the late birthday present you
was meaning to bring?/
/How many Nights
must a girl sit waiting..
for a text, e-mail or
instant message from you?
and How many Nights
must she sit complaining
to her girlfriends about
all that you won't do..?/
/You fill her head up with words
You tell her that you'll be with
her as soon as you are free..
but you never match your words
with any action..
and I keep trying to tell her
that she'd be better off with
/How many nights must the girl
hoping maybe you'll call or come
How many nights must the girl
while you're out with some other
girl you've found?/
/and finnally brother...
How many nights must the girl
turn me away...
because she's waiting for you
to make a stand?
How many nights must the girl
suffer needless heartbreak
when we both know you'll never
be her man?/
/You fill her head up with
words of passion..
You tell her you'll be her man
as soon as you are free...
We both know that you'll never
turn your words into action..
She'd be so much better off with
/ How many nights must the girl
of a love that's never going
How many nights must the girl
waste her time dreaming...
when real love is right here waiting
Thursday, August 21, 2008
/You don't know it til the day you
realization hits you between the eyes
You look at your unshaven face in the mirror
as the steam cakes up..
and begin to see how the days are
passin you by.../
/You realize that she is the only
reason that you feel the need
to get out of bed..
and then a simple song
begins to plead it's case inside
/You hear your mind saying-
"I'm fallin...oh yes I'm fallin
looks like I'm fallin, in love with you...
I'm fallin, truly, truly fallin in love
with you.., as sure as the sky is blue..../
/ It hits you like a ton of bricks
that when you're with her you feel truly alive..
It makes you question the unlikelyness of this..
of someone like her being by your side../
/ You know, she'd appreciate it,if you would
tell her some of what you are writing...
when the two of you are alone sometimes..
You never know, maybe she could..
find this all so exciting...
if you could articulate like this...
the song that keeps playing in your mind.../
(and it go a little somethin like this-
"I'm fallin...oh yes I'm fallin..
looks like I'm fallin in love with you...
I'm fallin, truly, truly fallin in love with
as sure as the sky is blue..."
I'm fallin, oh yes I'm fallin
looks like I'm fallin in love with you
(what kinda colored man writes somethin like this?)
I'm fallin, truly, truly fallin
so deeply fallin in love with you..
as sure as the sky is blue...
just as sure as the sky is blue../
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Did I tell you that I bought a car? Yeah...I went to Sonny Stein Struthers- "The man with the hole in his head" Used cars and bought a 2002 Nissan Maxima. Sonny Struthers is the younger brother of Reverend Brother Dr. Pastor Struthers. I bought my car from him shortly before the
unpleasentries of the "Potluck Massacre". The Good Reverend Brother Dr. Pastor was recovering from his wound...He mostly was sleeping on his stomach..Too painful to sleep on his
It served him right...He shouldn't have been tryin to push up on my Mabel at the church Potluck. No one actually knew who shot him...but we all suspected that it was his estranged wife.
She was missing..No one has seen her since the shooting, a week ago.
Having this car helps me to see Mabel a lot easier...I don't have to take the Bus and the Subway and yet another bus. I just hop in my ride and head right on up the boulevard and I'm at Mabel's
house in twenty five minutes.
Mabel's younger sister ,Cora Beth Jenkins was in town....I drove to the train station to pick her
up. Mabel wouldn't see her. See, she seduced Clerow...She was the reason Mabel was here in Philadelphia in the first place...To get away. Cora Beth sent texts, e-mails and letters to Mabel,
trying to apologize...but Mabel never acknowledged any of the letters...she was still too mad.
Finnally ...Mabel said that she would see Cora Beth. I told her that life is short and that that was the only family she had left...that she shouldn't let an old wound fester and that she should at least talk to her sister.
I drove to 30th Street Station to pick her up. Mabel was in the car with me...No way was she going to let another man get stolen by her whorish sibling. I had no problem identifying Cora
Beth...She had her sister's great body, her sisters smile and her sister's walk...She didn't dress as
revealing as Mabel had told me she would...With the breasts showing ,with the jeans so low you
could get a glimpse at the panty bands.. Something about Cora Beth seemed different. She was
friendly toward me...but not too friendly...Not the Cora Beth, I expected to see.
I drove her to Mabel's House...She only unpacked a few things. She explained that she had called ahead and already had a place to stay. Mabel looked surprised and asked her where-
"Oh Mabel honey, Ah couldn't impose on you...
Ah talked to Clerow...now it aint what you think...
We are not together or nothin, but I apologized for
what I done to you and I told him that I was comin up
this here city of Brotherly love and that I needed a place to stay."
Mabel side eyed her little sister and then said- "So you're stayin with Clerow?"
"Aww nah Mabel honey..Clerow got me an apartment
,not too far from here...a few blocks..He knew a landlord
that was rentin...I never intended to intrude or impose on
you honey..and besides...I need all the space I can get...
I'm travelin for two....you is about to become an auntie."
I didn't like the way my Mabel looked at Cora Beth....like she would kill her without hesitation.
"Is it Clerow's baby?" she asked.
"Aww no honey, Clerow and me did it jus that one time
an I am soo sorry honey..I was triflin then...No, this here
is Manly Jackson's baby."
"Manly Jackson?? You and him?? He 's old enough to
be your..."said Mabel
"Was old enough...Mabel...he dead now."
Cora Beth told us the story...Manly Jackson was six foot five, 230 pounds...Well muscled
and dark skinned. He kind of put women in mind of Actor Idris Elba, only bigger.( and considerably older.) They had been carryin on since Mabel left Monroe. Manly had only one problem...He was scared to death of cock roaches..and he had a bad heart. Okay, two problems.
Cora Beth had just told him that she was with child...his first shocker, then nothing should
happen, but a big cock roach come walkin across the floor...Manly leaped up on the table and began screaming like a girl with a suddenly high pitched voice- "Aggggghhhhhhhhh,kill it, kill it
She said that he sounded like James Brown almost...
She took off her shoe and killed the cock roach...smashed it. Unfortunately ,poor Manly
died right there on the spot too....
Mabel, for the first time, smiled at her sister and took her into her arms. That night the
three of us had a delicious dinner of home cooked Spare Ribs, Cornbread Stuffing, Corn on the cobb, and some fine Lemonade. It was going to be alright.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
I do not like The Reverend Dr. Brother Pastor John L. Struthers. I have never liked him..See I know his kind...He's a borderline pimp. He didn't just happen to drop by my Mabel's house last night when she was fixin her bangin biscuits..That was a trick booty call. Oh I see the way he looks at her...a little longer than he oughta...bein a man of the cloth an all and the way he licks his lips when she walks by...and all those sly comments he makes like-
"Lawdddd today Sistah Jenkins...
you are blessed....yesssss lawd...
heh-heh-he..if I was twenty years younger-"
And my Mabel would always cut him off by saying-
"An not MARRIED pastor-"
To which that old fist licking pimp ass fake preacher would cough and get himself together and
"heh, heh, heh...but of course..."
I couldn't stand him... Just the reason why I gave his wife an anonymous call the other night and told her where he had been and what he was trying to do...She burst into tears...but I know
her...she aint gonna just cry...I seen what she did to Sister Betty Johnson.....Caught Betty sitting\
on his lap, had her hand down his pants...Reverend Brother Dr. Pastor Struthers was just moaning....eyes rolling in the back of his head. when Sister Struthers run up on em and beat her
to within an inch of her life.. She's still in the hospital and that was a month ago.
Not long afterwords, I heard she started taking up with Clerow...Good for him...Clerow needs someone to take his mind off of my Mabel.
Let me tell you what happened at the Church Potluck...Me and Mabel walked in..She had her
Fried Chicken and her bangin biscuits on two seperate trays.. There was good food to be had everywhere...Anybody who knew anything about cookin in the church had brought some kind of food. I knew that I would put on about ten pounds today..All that good food.
Clerow was there...Eating and laughing with some of the church sisters...Mabel looked at him and he looked at her for a minute, then they each turned away. Just then Pastor Struthers rubbed up against Mabel- "Lawdddd jesus sistah Jenkins...You sho gotta nice soft rum-----
ughh ..ahhh rum cake there on that table...heh..heh..heh..."
"Oh I didn't make that Rum Cake Pastor....Sister Monique Hooks made that." said Mabel
"Yassss,Sistah Monique...she is a blessin..yass sirrrr, she is a stone cold..ughh, ughhh...
anyway...That's some dress you have on there Sister Jenkins."
"Pastor, no disrespect but I think you should be concentrating on the food."
"I'm concentrating on how well that dress is fitting those hips of yours...
"Pastor where is your wife?" asked Mabel...
That question was answered quick.......a popping sound was heard....then a flash.....It seemed
as if the room grew silent.....The Reverend Brother Dr. John Struthers felt a burning pain in his
right butt cheek...He leaped up in the air and yelled-
" OHHHHHH.......OHHHHHH lawd baby jesus, matthew, mark, luke, john, ralph, hezzekiah walker, puff daddy, JIGGGA!!!! AH been shot...OHHHHHHH....."
He leaped around in a frenzy.....Sanctified Mary, never one to let the spirit move someone else
better than her thought that he was shouting and she began her holiness dance....she began hollering-
"JIGGGGAAAA , what's my name? What's my name , aggghhhhhhhhhhh."
Her cheif shouting rival, Deacon Leroy Weatherford began shouting too-
"Well alrighttt......get up on the downstroke...everybody get up......
matthew ,mark,luke, john, kirk franklin..hot dangg it...FLASHLIGHT....RED LIGHT....Well
Alright now." (We all were into somethin before we got saved..Deacon Leroy was in Funkadelic.)
Reverend Brother Dr. Pastor John Struthers looked on at his flock and said something rather
un holy for that Sunday-
"WILL YOU NEGROES STOP ALL THIS FOOLISHNESS AN
CALL 911, my ass has been shot."
Then he collapsed.
I looked on at Clerow, who looked like the cat who had swallowed the canary....I grabbed Mabel and hustled her out of there....what a mess.
Reverend Brother Dr. Pastor John Struthers will live....He will just have a hard time sitting down for quite a while. The bullet left quite a hole in his right butt cheek. The mysterious woman
who shot him has NOT Been found.
Clerow sat outside the church in his car, laughing to himself- "One down....one to go."
/ The First Time I saw her, the coffee was splashing
from my cup on my suit...
As the Subway train rumbled into the station..
I was embarrassed, yet tried to look so astute...
and hide my budding infatuation.../
/She had the warmest hazel eyes
and a seductive smile
the kind that tempted me to flirt...
She was wearing the fragrance of white diamonds
,it lingered for awhile...
The Girl in the White Linen Skirt.../
/I introduced myself and I asked her her name...
I can't believe how easily the words came from
we exchanged numbers and agreed to meet for
our first date...
I'm only used to seeing things like this on T.V./
/She had the softest brown skin
and a body to die for...
I watched her walk off to work...
and I had the urge to cry for
such a seductive and gentle smile
that lingered for awhile...
The Girl in the White Linen Skirt.../
/She had the warmest Hazel Eyes
and such a musical voice..
the kind of eyes that sparkle in the light..
and leaves me with no choice...
but to try and flirt...
This Girl in the White Linen Skirt...
Girl in the White Linen Skirt.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
/ If love was left up to me...
I would put certain things in motion...
If it was left up to me..
I would get rid of certain notions...
but nothin ever came easy to me, you see..
so all I can do is try...
and I'll try....
If Love was left up to me...
at least I'd try.../
/ If love was left up to me
I'd take the emphasis off of finance...
It it was left up to me...
I'd take the lies and false expectations out of romance..
I'd talk about emotional maturity
I know that sounds like a lot...
but at least I'd try...
/If love was left up to me...
I'd tone down my often swollen ego..
if things were left up to me..
I'd swallow my pride more often and try to walk
a little less regal...
but it's not really left up to me..
it's on both of us..
so all I can do is try...
and I'll try....
lady ,if love was left up to you...
would you try?
because if love was left up to me
I would try-
(1 2 3- cha cha cha....)
Friday, August 15, 2008
Clerow was in his bathrobe, stirring a drink...A non-alcoholic drink... She was a virtuous Christian woman, this one was... She was brown skinned, very shapely for her age, possessing a figure that could attract men ten to fifteen years younger than her... She sat in Clerows living room and wept....
"Oh Clerow...Ah love mah husband...I swear I do...
but he's never home...He says he's doing the work
of the lord....but I don't see how that could be at the
Ungodly hours he keeps " she said...
Clerow eyed her sympathetically and kept making his drink. He mixed a thawed 12 ounce can of frozen lemonade ("that cool refreshing drink"), another twelve ounce can of frozen orange juice, a cup and a half of sugar, one teaspoon of vanilla extract, another teaspoon of almond extract and eight cups of cold water..topping it off with two liters of lemon lime soda, chilled.
"He comes home with lip stick on his collar and the smell of
perfumes that I don't wear...I've known about his affairs for years
but I've never said anything...but now...I just can't take this anymore.
I'm 40 years old...I've given that man the best years of my life.."
Clerow said nothing....He thought of his Mabel....bad enough she was seeing that brother from
Philly, but stepping out on him with this old fist licking Pastor too??? She was dating like a....
like a... well like a man and he couldn't take it...but he had hurt her...he had cheated on her with her own sister...he and he alone was the reason why Mabel was here in this God forsaken city
instead of in Monroe, Louisiana....their home.
He took two large pitchers and a large punchbowl and combined the first six ingredients...He gently added the soda....Then he took two chilled tumblers and served his Citrus Punch.
"Oh My.....You Southerners got a way with food and
beverages...This is off the chain Clerow."
Clerow said nothing...He eyed this woman strangely...sitting there in his bathrobe....She had been just distraught about two hours ago, when he found her about two blocks from Mabel Jenkins house...It was the night before the Church Potluck...He was watching Mabel's house and
so was this woman...Since they had "caught " each other..they began talking...They shared each
other's pain and eventually, she shared herself with Clerow in his bed... Now they were talking.
She had seen her husband enter Mabel Jenkins house...Clerow knew that Mabel had company..
and now she had two men in her home...What in hell was this?
"Oh I could kill him" she said...
Clerow laughed- "I saw what you did to Sister Betty Johnson...she's still in the hospital."
"Oh Clerow, that heifer was sitting on my husbands lap...
kissing him...had her hands down his pants when I run up
on them...She's lucky I didn't kill her...but I'm not taking anything
else out on no woman....If I catch him with a woman...he's the one
that's gonna wind up in the hospital."
"Now now... Sistah Struthers...Ah know where your Husband
is going to be tomorrow....Why don't we pay him a visit?"
She sipped her Citrus Punch and smiled...Then she sat on Clerows lap...gave him a long and
lustful kiss...and sipped his drink.....
"I think we are going to be very good friends...."
Clerow smiled- "Ah think so too, Sistah Struthers...heh..heh..heh..."
Thursday, August 14, 2008
/You say you've got
all the man you'll ever need...
You say you're as happy as a clam,
but really you're not..
that's just the way it seems.../
/ Oh I know, you're in a hurry
you don't have the time to talk....
and I thought that we were friends..
Oh but don't worry....
For now ,I'll take that walk..
I just hope that you're right about him../
"Put a quarter in the meter and park right here."
/ Just in case
Just in case he breaks your heart
don't lose my phone number...
Just in case
Just in case he breaks your heart
I'll be around to pick up the peices
once he's torn your heart asunder...
Just in case he breaks your heart./
/ There's a lot of little things that you don't know-
like the other women he sees..
and the places he goes...
you think it's all about you..
but really it's not....
People are talking about -
all the other women he's got.../
/ Deep down inside you know....
you're on a roller coaster ride that's going
I can see it in your eyes
everytime he tells you one of those lies
about how much he cares.../
"Okay baby, I'm gonna lock and load right here...
check it out.. I'm gon get like The Isley Brothers
who really loves you...
Who has always put you before anyone else...
Get a little stronger in your spirit....
at least find you a man for yourself...
/ Just in case
Just in case he breaks your heart
Girl, give me a text ,e-mail or a call...
Just in case he breaks your heart
I'll be around to pick you up when you fall-
Just in case he breaks your heart..../
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Mabel loved to cook, Mabel loved to make love....Mabel always smelled so good..she was a very sensual woman, she was all about the senses...She was up cooking for her church potluck..late into the night... She was making her world famous (at least to me) country bakin powder biscuits.
What was it about this southern woman that bewitched me so? Was it her cooking or her loving?
She had taken a nap and had gotten up and walked to the shower at around 12:00 midnight. I followed her into the shower...I helped her soap her back and she in turned filled me with lather
from her soap...I held her as the warm water splashed on both of us and washed the soap off of us... I ran my hands through her hair and she leaned back, looked down at my massive erection and let out her big throaty laugh.... I loved to watch her laugh, she tossed her head back and just let it all hang out... She had beautiful white teeth...and a smile that made you feel as though you'd
known her your entire life...Big beautiful brown eyes....That wasn't all she had that was big and beautiful....big huge breasts that fought with any bra she would ever try to buy...they just couldn't be contained...and I loved them...I loved holding them, licking them , gently squeezing them and then kissing her full lips....as soft as butter...
She had what I called "baby making hips " to boot and a definite future behind her..as the guys on the corner would say. How could Clerow cheat on this woman? I lifted her up and I entered her and she held on for dear life as I pumped ,first with wild abandon, then slower, then harder
and faster...then in a nice rythym....I could've stayed like that with her forever...but it was just too good...too good for me to hold it in...I exploded and she screamed....and we both shook.....neither of us, realizing that the water had now grown cold...
Totally spent, I dried myself off, put on some sweat pants and a t-shirt and joined Mabel in the kitchen...She was wearing one of my shirts and under it, only a royal blue string bikini...that
accentuated every curve of her body... She wasn't thinking of me or the great sex we had just had..only that she was on a mission.. a mission to make those biscuits..
She sifted out one and three fourths of all purpose flour...two teaspoons and two tablespoons
of sugar, one tablespoon of baking powder, a teaspoon of salt, a half cup of skim milk and one fourth cup of Olive Oil.
She heated the oven to 425. Watching her, I was getting heated myself...I walked up behind her and began kissing her neck...I tried to unbutton her shirt, but she moved my hands..."Not now...not now..I've got to get these biscuits out....when I'm finished, we can do it some more..
okay?" She said. I pouted- "You promise baby?" She gave me those puppy dog eyes of hers and said -"I promise."
She combined the milk and the olive oil, added it all to the mixture of flour and stirred it with a fork until the dough formed.. She placed everything on a well floured kitchen table surface
and patted them into circles until they were about one half inches thick. She took a floured two and a half inch cutter, pressed the dough scraps together to form the biscuits and placed them on
a baking sheet...Then into the oven they went.
She set the timer for twelve minutes. I lifted her up on the sink and began opening her shirt
..well it was my shirt, but who cares? I began fondling her breasts and kissing her from her navel to those breasts..while she began to softly stroke me....This went on for what seemed like
forever, but was probably twelve minutes...We were moanin so..that we barely heard the timer
or the doorbell!!!!
Mabel leaped off the counter, opened the oven and pulled out a sheet pan of the most gorgeous and perfectly round and flaky biscuits.... I grabbed a bottle of Aunt Jemima Pancake
Syrup...I was from Philly, but my family was from Georgia...We knew about Buscuits and Syrup.
The damn doorbell was ringing!! At this time of night...it could only be that damn Clerow. Well
not tonight...He wasn't going to sit in here and eat..not tonight.
I went to the door only to see-
"Reverend Struthers??? What -What brings you over here
this time of night?"
Mabel ran into the bedroom and put on a long bathrobe...
"Ah was in the neighborhood and the window was open
and Ah smelled Sistah Mabels Biscuits and Ah seent da light on
an I just had to stop by..."
A likely story..I think old Rev was doin some midnight rambling himself......
"Well don't just stand there...Let the good Reverend In." said Mabel.
I don't beleive it...It must be a conspiracy to keep me from having one good night alone with
this woman..First Clerow...now Reverend Struthers...What gives??
The Reverend sat and ate some Biscuits with us and sopped them in syrup.
Then he drank a half gallon of the sweet tea that Mabel had made.. Finnally , I yawned and said -"Well Rev,it's gettin late and I guess you wants to be gettin back home so you can be up
for the church potluck tomorrow..huh?"
That sly old fist licker looked at me and said-
"Yeah..that's right and you'd better get some clothes on and be gettin
home yourself son...I wouldn't want people thinkin that Sister Mabel
here is livin in sin or doin anything inapropriate.."
Unbelievable...I can't win!!
Monday, August 11, 2008
/You tell me
that when I get myself together
if you're still around...
you'll be mine.../
/That sounds all fine and good
but it should be understood
that you don't know whether
fate really wants us together
or if another might allow herself
to share my time../
/ How presumptious of you
to think that I'll still be your fool...
maybe now, you might not be entirely wrong-
but don't make me wait too long./
/ You tell me you want me to earn my MBA...
But what you really want is just to have your way...
You say you're waiting for me to get myself a nice condo...
and if you're not seeing anyone , you say I'll be the first to know../
/ You tell me that you'd like to see me in a BMW....
Funny, you don't think any other girls might be attracted
to me too?
You say that you're waiting for me to be just a little more fly...
and then maybe, just maybe I might finnally be your guy-
The question I want to ask you so bad is why?/
/ How presumptious of you
to imagine that I'll still want to be your little fool
right now, you might not be entirely wrong...
but if I were you-
I wouldn't make the boy wait too long../
/because I've got plans for my life...
plans that only concern me...
and in time I might get some common sense
and I might come to the conclusion
that I suppose it's time to let you be../
/How presumptious of you
to imagine that I'd even want to be your little fool..
right now I'm more certain that you're wrong...
don't make the mistake
of making me wait too long..
Don't make me wait too long./
Sunday, August 10, 2008
search in vain for a little human decency..
just a sign
in someone's eyes-
for a little meaning...
And Sometimes I..
just feel very empty inside...
And God's so far away...
and it's so hard to be strong..
so hard to hold on...
when you can't make sense of each day..../
people have always said that I....
have been in need of some restraint..
I've lived life wild, because getting through
this life isn't for those with hearts that are faint...
and God has always seemed so far away..
but for now, I'll just be content to wait./
/For him to save me from my fate..
Waiting for God...
waiting for my state of grace...
Waiting for God....
waiting for my state of grace./
/These are just thoughts that I wrote
that occupy a hidden place in my mind...\
about the peace I can never seem to find.
and who can ease my troubled mind?
why don't you tell me that you can..
you're my guru...
but you can't, can you?/
/People have always said that I
was in need of some kind of restraint...
I'll never be accused of having a heart that's faint...
And God is so far away
but I'll be faithful
and content to wait....
Waiting for God-
for him to save me from my destined fate....
and for my state of grace./
/Why don't you tell me
you can save me...
but that couldn't be-/
So I'll be content to wait...
Waiting for God...
Waiting for God./
Friday, August 8, 2008
You can imagine how good I felt when the officer came to the cell and called my name..."Sean
Jackson??...Someone's here for you...you've been sprung." I leaped up pulled the overcoat around me and quickly followed the officer down the hallway and to the booking desk. My best friend and Attorney, Conrad Young was standing there, snickering along with the other policemen and the clerks.
"Man, you sure know how to get yourself into some situations..."
"yeah and out of his clothes" snickered a clerk, which started a crescendo of laughing, hooping
and hollering. Hard to believe that these were Philadelphia's finest...They sounded like a bunch of college frat boys..laughing and having a good time at my expense.
"Yeah, yeah ,yeah..." I said- "Conrad ,did you bring me some clothes?" I asked.
"Of course" He said and he handed me pants, shirt, sosks, drawers ,undershirt and shoes.
I hastily got dressed and after Conrad paid my bail..We left and got into his Lexus SUV and pulled off. As we headed to route 76 , the expressway, I laid back and flicked on the radio...."Me and Baby Brother" by War was playing and I just layed my head back and tried to forget the past few days and the last night.
We said nothing the entire ride.....Conrad was laughing too hard...and I was too damn mad..
We stopped in a diner and we both ordered two tumblers of Orange Juice, and Two Coffees. I
ordered some Steak and Eggs and Conrad ordered a Western Omelette, Hash brown potatoes,
Bacon and a Mimosa.
"Okay brother, you gotta tell me what happened " said Conrad, trying hard not
to choke on his food.
If I recall, it started a few days before I finnally got next to Sheila. I had been e-mailing and
texting and instant messaging Sheila ever since the day I met her , begging and pleading with her to let me take her out, to come over to my condo, to let me take her to lunch...It was bordering on sexual harrassment. She kept telling me that one day we would make a date...but
she would never get back to me.
Finnally, On her birthday I had a dozen roses sent to her office and a dozen more waiting for her when she got home..I still didn't hear from her so I figured that she was a lost cause.
The next night, I had that cute new temp over my house and we were goin at it for close to two
hours...I was surprised that she was still there when I woke up the next morning.
At lunch time, that cute and sexy photographer who worked on one of the stories at the magazine came over and we had a little "session" too...and then we returned to work.
You can imagine my surprise when around 9:00 pm that night...I'm sitting on my couch alone watching Sports Center when the doorbell rings.....
It's Sheila!!!!! She's wearing a Beige Trench coat (In July??? on a 90 degree night????) She
stood there then she said- "Aren't you going to let me in?" I fumbled with the door and let her in.
"Gotta be careful with this door.....if you don't have your key, it'll slam and you'll be locked
out. I've been meaning to fix that...but come on in." I said.
Underneath the trenchcoat she had on black stiletto heels, black thigh high pantyhose with
garters that were connected to a black bustier!!! She was a freak!!! Oh thank you Lord....I thought.
"I don't usually do this for anybody, but you've been sweatin me so tough and I really
liked the roses , I figured you must be a nice guy... I decided to surprise you." she said.
It took me no time to turn the television off , dim the lights and get butt naked!! We were going to rock the house tonight!!!!
We started passionately kissing....I began ravishing her and I lifted her up and placed
her on my kitchen sink..As I kissed her neck....I noticed that her eyes grew as big as saucers.
She worked her way down to the floor..began kissing me some more and slowly glided me to the
She then pushed me out the door and locked it! "You nasty dog" she said through the window!
"Heyyyyy, sayyyyyyy...what did you do?? What did you do...you crazy bitch,open
this door....I'm naked...open this door....what the sam hill is wrong with you????Heyyyyyy!"
Next thing I know, the police come and I'm standing outside my own house in my birthday
suit, erect as a tree trunk with no way to prove my identity or that I actually live here. Plus,
I'm Black...this is a predominately white neighborhood and I don't look like I can afford to live
here. I'm screwed twice without being screwed.....
Hours later as I sit with Conrad in that diner munching on my food and sipping coffee, it
dawns on me what she saw on that floor....a used condom.....a used condom from lunchtime that
I didn't bother to dispose of...
Oh my God...Is that what made her go off???????????
Thursday, August 7, 2008
/All the guys keep their distance from you...
All the guys say that you're mean...
But none of them have ever gotten the gist of you...
none of them have explored sights unseen
like I did...
that's how I got to know you..
the parts of you that you keep hid..
hidden from love, love I want to show you.../
somebody broke your heart...
you're not a
just a woman in need of a brand new start../
/I've got a sweet deal that's so good for you...
and it'll warm your soul...
I've got a plan to be your man...
gonna make you lose control-
and it'll make you melt like butter....
put a smile on that frowning face...
it'll make you melt like butter....
you'll be singing and dancing all over the place.../
/ It was obvious to me
that something was going on with you...
it was so plain to see
that you were in need of something new to do...
it was like pulling teeth,
tryin to get a word of conversation from you..
but I knew that you'd come around after awhile...
once you talked to someone who understood what you were goin through...\
/ And I'm so glad you decided to spend some time with me...
so glad you did...
so glad that you allowed me to see...
the soft side of you that you kept hid.../
/ and baby..
I've got a sweet deal that's so good for you..
it'll warm your soul...
I've got a deal that's so real and true...
and truth be told...
it'll make you melt like Butter...
break down those defenses...
it'll make you melt like Butter....
it'll shock your senses...
and make you melt like Butter.../
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
/Why do I act as though you're all that matters?
Foolish of me to feel this way.
You're lost in your self conscious chatter
You could care less about me from day to day...
Why do I place you on a pedestal so high...
so foolish of me to believe
that you would somehow realize how hard I try..
oh tell me how could I be so naive?/
/ and oh, the anxiety
when I realize, you might not love me...
this scares me...
that I can't even seem to breathe-
oh, the horrible reality...
that I take my love for you so seriously
and I can't comprehend you not being in love with me..
and it fills me with constant
/Why did I write you that letter?
Exposing my feelings for you...
How could I have thought that a text or an e-mail
would make things better?
Oh, I was such a fool.
To think that you would be moved...
I never felt like this..
I never asked for any romance..
The price I'm paying for this misery
Of existing everyday without a chance..../
when I realize that you don't want me...
and oh girl
this is scaring me...
and right now it's hard for me to breathe
oh the anxiety-
because I take my feelings for you so seriously...
i'm just an option to you, it's clear to see..
while I've made you a priority..../
baby why aren't you in love with me?
just asking the question fills me with-
Monday, August 4, 2008
He dreamed of Mabel Jenkins! He remembered how each curve of her body seemed to be so definitive...He remembered how she used to laugh that big hardy southern throaty laugh...and how her shoulder length hair always looked so lovely as her head swayed ...while she was laughing.
Mabel! His Mabel...
He remembered holding her mellon like breasts that always seemed like they were at war with whatever bra she chose to wear in his hands and gently caressing them. He was never rough with Mabel Jenkins...She would not hear of it..
She had a gentle touch herself...He remembered the first time she gazed at his erect penis , how wide her mouth opened and how she said- "Oh my god Clerow...you've got a horse..." and how she gently stroked it as her stroked her breasts.......
This had been four years ago.....when they were both in Monroe ,Louisiana...before they had come to the god forsaken North..To Philadelphia...Where Mabel had moved to , to start a new life...after he had shattered the one they had in the South. She had caught him with her younger
sister!!! He had had her bent over the kitchen table...goin to town...doggie style... Her younger sister was moaning and he himself was moaning even louder...
He regretted that...he hadn't meant to hurt Mabel...Her sister always teased him, when he was waiting for Mabel to get dressed...She would come in the room with her low rider jeans, just low enough where he could see the Victoria Secret waistband on her panties...She would wear a blouse that was opened ridiculously too much ,so that he could see her breasts...and she would always wink at him or stick her tongue out when she thought Mabel wasn't looking....
Trifling , that girl was...She wasn't nothing like Mabel....She didn't make love like Mabel...She was wild and loose and not gentle at all...Mabel made love slow...she took her time..she got him to the point of explosion ,then she would slow down and let him savor how good her body felt.
And Mabel's sister couldn't cook...couldn't boil water...but Mabel made the best Fried Chicken
in Louisiana for his money...
Mabel got the Post Office to Transfer her to Philadelphia. She left Monroe and went North to find her a place and just like that...Mabel was gone. He was in Jail then...a minor thing..an assault..a fight in a bar. When he got out of jail he went to Philadelphia to find her. It wasn't hard
He had once worked for the Post Office himself..and they both had mutual friends who would talk over a bottle of Jack Daniels.....He'd found her...only ,she was with another man now.....
They sat and they supped together...Mabel's fine Fried Chicken....Only he was the one going home now....This other guy, was probably laying back in his bed...and Mabel was probably going
up and down...up and down on him...slowly...slowly ,allowing him to savor the moment....
Then Clerow woke up, alone in his bed....disgusted !!!! He felt like a 14 year old!
Sunday, August 3, 2008
/ Baby Stay Awake
don't go to sleep
it's time for me to make love to you.../
/ girl, stay awake..
don't play hide and seek
with your love...
when you know it's time for me
to love you.../
/ now I've had my mind on you
most of the day
and I've been contemplating
several different positions
and several different ways
ways I want to please you
so please don't just turn over...
I feel like gettin luckier than a
four leaf clover.../
/ We've watched a movie on cable...
now come on...
I'm willing and I'm able...
now isn't this deep...
you're talkin bout you want to go to sleep...
I know it's the late night hour...
but how bout if we both take a shower...
to begin our night...
it could be so right.../
/so baby stay awake,don't go to sleep
it's time for me to make love to you...
girl, stay awake-
don't play hide and seek...
when it's time for me to love you...
/don't make me beg-
stay awake...think of what you'll lose
if you go to sleep on me now..
baby stay awake...
good lovin is yours to choose...
try to stay with me now- /
/because girl I long to give you
what you need...
when you need it baby..
what you want-
the way you want it baby...
believe that I-
I'll be your good rockin daddy....
when you say you need it...
when you need it badly...
/ I long to give you-
I need yo give you
what you need
when you need it ...
what you want
the way you told me you want it baby..
honey just believe-
that I am your good rockin daddy...
when you're in need...
when you need it badly...../
We are in the room at the end of the hall...
you're wearing next to nothing at all..
visualize this with me girl..
you and me-
in the softest bed in the world...
baby close the door,
close the blinds...
let's slowly lose our minds...
visualize this with me girl
making love in the softest bed in the world..../
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Lady, I know your kind..
you think you're all that...
you know you're fine...
but actually you're afraid to give yourself
Intimacy is something you find yourself
constantly running from.../
Baby, I know your kind...
you think you got it going on,
you've got such an ego, such pride...
but really, you're afraid to fall in love...
so you front and you hide.../
/but love, you know...that's okay
it's all good...
one day you'll come to me and tell me
how much you love me..
and then you'll squeeze me...
you'll want to please me...
and you will no longer want to tease me...
and the love
that I'll get from you is gonna be so good../
but check this out player
I know all of the guys
tell you all of the time...
about how you're so fine...
how you're so fly...
and how you just blow their mind../
/You notice that when their eyes
meet your eyes
they seemingly lose all memory of space
and of times...
you like that don't you?
it makes you feel so cool...
but foolish you.../
/you see because like I told you...
it's all good
because one day you'll come to me and say
that you need me
("you're laughing now, but it's true")
then you'll squeeze me..
you'll want to please me...
and you won't be about teasing me...
and then the love
that I'll get from you will be so good....
/you'll say that you love me...
you'll kiss and hug me..
you'll say that you'll never leave me..
and baby girl you'll tell me that you
need me ....
and the love...that I'll get from you...
Is gonna be so good.
Friday, August 1, 2008
She was a Southern Girl......and lawd she could cook.. I remember the first time I went to her house... It was early on a Saturday morning...I had got up, shaved..showered, splashed on some
'jamaica Boy "cologne that I'd gotten from the Barber shop up on 46th Street the week before.
My Car was in the shop ,So I caught the El at 56th & Market nd rode to 15th and Market ,where I switched to the Broad Street Subway. I rode the subway to Broad and Olney and then caught a bus over to Tupelhocken Street, where she lived.
Normally ,I wouldn't catch a bus, The Elevated Train , The Subway and another bus to see anybody. Hell, I don't use that much Public Transportation to get to Work...but Mabel Jenkins was special. See, She was a Southern Girl....From Monroe, Louisiana , she said...Every curve on that woman's body was well defined...I tell you and she could cook....she could cook!
When I got to her house...Mabel was cooking her world famous Fried Chicken...I often wondered
what made her Fried Chicken taste so much better than anybody else's I'd ever tasted.
She always looked at me and winked and said- "That's cause you from Philly....you don know nothin bout a southern girl's special magic she said."
She took four cups of all purpose flour,divided, two tablespoons of garlic sauce, 1 tablespoon of
paprika, 3 divided teaspoons of black pepper, 2 and a half teaspoons of poultry seasoning, two
eggs, one and a half cups of lukewarm water..one teaspoon of salt and my only contribution to
the meal....Two three and a half pounded broiler frying chickens, which I had purchased from
the Shop rite on 52nd and Jefferson the day before and began to work her magic.
I watched as she took a large resealable plastic bag and added the garlic, flour, paprika,
black pepper and poultry seasoning...and closed the bag and mixed it up....I watched attentively
as pretty brown frame began to shake the bag and everything about her began to shake in all of
the right places.
She took a big white bowl and added water,two eggs ,salt and the remaining flour and pepper.
She dipped the chicken in the egg mixture and then placed it in the bag. She only placed a few
peices at a time...then she shook the bag until all of the chicken parts were coated.
She heated the chicken in a deep fat fryer at 375 degrees...
While the chicken was frying...I tossed a couple of ears of corn in a boiling pot of hot water,
and made a pitcher of red kool aid...I hit the CD player and played a little Frankie Beverly
and Maze...It was definitely an old school kind of day..We was gonna feast and then a knock
came to the door.
Of course I told Mabel to ignore it...but you know women...between the door and the phone they
got to answer it. No sooner had she gone to the door then he came in. His name was Clerow and'
like her, he was from the South.
"I thought you was in jail" she yelled as he pushed his way through the door.
"I'm out...what is HE doin here?" he snarled as he looked at me.
"That's my man now...we aint together no more Clerow...Ah told you, you gots to go."
I was anticipating a fight and I steeled up for one....
Clerow looked, then he sniffed-
"Mabel ,is that your famous Crispy Fried Chicken??" He said ,seemingly in awe....
"Yes it is." she said.
"There's enough here for all of us " I said..."Let's sit down here and enjoy some a this good food man." I said.
The three of us sat down and ate Mabel's good fried chicken, corn on the cob, and drank
Kool Aid....Clerow was so full and content that he got up and left...Apparently he forgot why
he came and what he was so angry about.
I'm certain he'll be back and this will have to be settled but for today, Mabel's good cookin helped usavoid what could have been a bad scene for all involved...Mabel was just good that
She was a Southern girl..