Saturday, December 4, 2010

Dead Ringerz!


Clerow and I drove up in front of Portia Hawkins house....Ralph Scallion was in the back seat, My wife, Sepia was sitting next to him...It was daybreak....We had gone and gotten him out of Fathead's safe house...releiving Donald Smooth... Now that the two killers, Buster Williams and Raif Collins were indicted for First Degree Murder and locked up with no bail...It was safe for him to come out...He asked us to drop him off at Portia's house....

She had two Doberman Pinchers in her front yard....The dogs were not barking, they were moaning...an awful long and dreery kind of moan, the kind of which I'd never heard before.. Clerow looked spooked...

''What's the matter Clerow?"

"Man....when dogs moan like that....it means someone is dead...." he said.

"What?" I said.

"Kevin, you from up North....I'm a country boy...I'm from Louisiana....I had Dogs....That's a death moan...I'm tellin you." He said.

"Nonsense man...I just talked to Portia an hour ago...Those her dogs..They know me...I been here before." said Ralph . He got out of the car and walked to the door.. He rang the bell. There was an eerie silence...We sat in the car and waited for Portia to open the door...but she never came. The dogs laid in the yard...docilely and continued to moan...Ralph tried the door...It was open!!!

Clerow parked the car....He and I both drew our guns.....

"Sepia..lock all of these doors...There's a .22 under the front seat...Don't hesitate to use it if anybody comes near this car." I said. She shook her head..

Clerow, Ralph and I entered the house....It was dark, but unusually neat....Everything was in order downstairs. We walked up the stairs and entered all of the bedrooms...Beds made up, everything in order....As though no one had been here...Incredible.

"Well.....She just out....I'm sure it's all good....Kevin she just texted me , a little over an hour ago
and told me to meet her here..." said Ralph...

"Come on Ralph...We'll take you to your car...If she calls you...Come on back later..Something about this doesn't seem right." I said.. Once again, those two dogs began to moan and pace.

He didn't argue and we all drove off..... After we dropped him off, Clerow dropped Sepia and I off at our house and he went home....I sat in our kitchen at the kitchen table deep in thought...

"What's bothering you Kevin?" asked Sepia.

"Something about those dogs....Something about that text message....Why didn't Portia just call him?" I asked.

"Oh Kevin , because she texted him doesn't mean anything..." said Sepia...

"Come on." I said.

"Where are we going?" she asked...

"We're going to take your car...We going back to Ralph's.." I said.

We jumped in the car and drove back to Ralph's house...He was still up...

"Ralph...let me see that text Portia sent you." I said.

He showed me the text message it read-

"Ralllphhhh....you'd better come and get this...while the getting is good...I'm at home."

Then there was a photo of her nude laying across the bed that she'd sent...She was an extremely attractive woman...I didn't know a man who could get a message with a photo like that and be able to resist....A further look at the photo revealed something else though....The room, the bedroom it was taken in was markedly different then any of the rooms I had been in ,in Portia's
house...This photo had been snapped somewhere else!! Of course...that body on her would make any man forget about that little detail...

"We are going back to her house." I said.

Ralph, Sepia and I drove back to Portia's house...I put on Ralph's coat and hat and walked up to the door...I rang the bell...This time..Portia answered the door...She was stunned to see me!!!

"Hello Porsche...How's tricks?" I said.

"WHAT? What are you doing here?" she said.

"You were planning to lure Ralph here and kill him weren't you...the final peice of your revenge eh...An alteration you might say....I know it all...I know it was you who sent Raif Collins and Buster Williams after him....I know that you put them on me too....I knew it as far back as when you said you drove past the lot that night and saw Ralph's car.....You couldn't know that he and Jack had switched cars....Just like you didn't know your sister was out with Ralph across town at Josies...You just wanted him dead....It's all over..." I said.

"Think so huh?" she said.

That's the moment when the bad guy thinks they have you......

"I know about the guy you had outside with the gun, waiting to come in here too....My friend, Walter has him under control......" I said...( I had called Kool Kat and Clerow and told them to meet us here.. )

"My Kevin, you're just a little brainiac..aren't you..What else do you know?" she said..

"I know two of your sister's friends who would love to meet you." I said and I opened the front door and let the two Doberman Pinchers in...Now the dogs weren't moaning ...they were barking and growling and headed right for the horrified Porsche...

"Oh My God...Oh My God... Arrrrrgrgrggggggggggggggggggggggggggh....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...HELP!
HELP!...HELLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!...OKAY..OKAYYYYYYYYYY....I'll tell it all...I'll tell it all......YESS...I was behind the wholllleeee thing...ARRRRRRRGHHHHHH, get these dogs...Get them ..ARGgggggggggggggggggggggggggh......EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....." she screamed....

Clerow and Ralph came in and corralled the dogs....Lt. Sissy Van Buren and three Philadelphia Policemen walked in and put the handcuffs on Porsche Hawkins....Some medics came too..she had multiple dog bites and her clothes had been ripped to shreds...

Outside, Kool Kat had corralled yet another would be shooter...A guy named Gerald Atkins...

"I don't know how you do it Kevin...but I like that you do it." laughed Sissy Van Buren as she put Porsche and Gerald in the patrol car...


"Yeah...I brought you live perps this time huh?" I laughed...

"Yes...that's always good...Glad things are back to normal." she said with a laugh.

EPILOUGE:

 

The body of her twin sister, Portia Hawkins Collins was found out near the zoo...She had been strangled...by Gerald Atkins on orders from Porsche Hawkins... Raif Collins was sentenced to death for the murder of Fat Jack Greenwood.. Buster Williams received a life sentence for his part in the murder and the attempted murder of me.. Gerald Atkins received a life sentence for killing Portia and for her part in masterminding the mayhem...Porsche Hawkins also received a death sentence. Case closed!

Sepia and I, Clerow and Cora beth, Kool Kat and his lady friend, Chelsea sat in Josies at the bar telling Gus about the entire affair that night...

"Man oh man...Kevin...you oughta write a screenplay or a book or somethin...You have had some adventures that would make a person's hair stand up these past few years." said Gus.

"Yeah...It all started when I met her" I said kissing Sepia on the cheek...

Just then , Ralph Scallion walked in, with yet another fine young thing on his arm......

"Hey folks...This is Amanda...Amanda..This is Kevin, his wife Sepia, Clerow,his wife Corrie and Walter....and I don't believe I caught your lady friend's name?" said Ralph..

"Chelsea" she said.

"Gus..Can we have a bottle of white wine and two tumblers? oh and a round for all of these good people on me." said Ralph.

"Big spender tonight Ralphie?" said Gus.

"Yeah...I'm celebrating life and love" he said as he and Amanda went to their booth...

"I see he got over his greif rather quick." said Gus...

I looked at Gus and we both laughed out loud!

(For Rosalyn)

2 comments:

Grover Tha Playboy said...

Wild Ending....Loved it though!

Cheryl said...

Will Ralph Scallion ever learn?