Friday, April 8, 2016

Right Sizing




Early the next morning....Attorney Floyd Gaskins walked up to the storefront that was his one man law firm...

He handled a few cases...Nothing high profile....He made just enough to keep the doors open and keep the electricity, gas and water on and a working phone and fax machine...Nothing close to the days when he was an attorney at the Lundy Law Firm...

He had a steaming hot tumbler of coffee on him.....He was whistling a happy tune...He never saw the man in the hood that came up behind him...

"Drop that coffee...Drop it slow old man...and open that door...Open it fast..." said the hooded man..

"You makin a big mistake boss...I got less money than you...I swear..." he said.

The hooded man stuck a nickel plated .45 in his ribs...

"Give it up baby..and drop that coffee...I'm not in the habit of repeating myself..." he said.

Floyd Gaskins dropped his coffee slowly and the two of them stepped inside...

"Wha-What do you want?" he asked..

"Open that safe...and don't get cute..I disabled the silent alarm system you got in here..."said the man..

"I don't have no money in that safe...I-I swear.." said Floyd.


"DID I ASK YOU WHAT YOU HAD IN THAT SAFE? OPEN THE gotdamn safe and be quick about it..I want those negatives....ALL OF EM!!!" he bellowed..


"Who you workin for? Tony sent you?  I can pay you twice whatever he paid you."said Floyd ,who was visible shaken and afraid.


"I see I'm gonna have to shoot you in the foot for starters...then the knee cap...You talk too much."said the man..

"Okay...Okay..."said Floyd Gaskins...He opened the safe and handed him a folder with the negatives...Negatives of Tony Katz and a Senator and negatives of Annette Collins and the Deputy District Attorney and A Judge....

"That's everything...All I got..." said Floyd Gaskins...

"The Laptop....Go into it...NOW!" barked the hooded man..

Floyd turned it on...

The hooded man opened it with precision and took the hard drive out...

"Heyyy, what are you doin?" asked Floyd Gaskins...

"Questions aint in your vocabulary pal...Get on your knees..." barked the hooded man...

"Please don't kill me...PLEASE..I GAVE YOU WHAT YOU WANTED...I GOT $250.00 in my wallet...PLEASE DON'T KILL ME." said Floyd Gaskins

"ON YOUR KNEES!" yelled the hooded masked man..

Floyd Gaskins got on his knees .....

"COUNT TO 100 backwards....DO IT!!!" yelled the man..

Floyd Gaskins was crying now...and counting....by the time he got to 75....He turned....The man was gone.....his door was wide open....but he was still alive and relatively unhurt....

He was shaking when he got up...

My SUV sat about six blocks away....The same hooded masked man walked up to my car and handed me the negatives and the hard drive...

"You have any trouble?" I asked..

"Come on Donnie Ray...Trouble?...I used to do this in New Orleans like clock work." said the man..

"And I used to bust you on the regular...back when I was a cop...Fancy meeting you here in DC...Bet you never thought you'd be workin for me huh?" I laughed..

"Yeah,Imagine that?  I don't even do this no more." he said.

I passed him an envelope with $2000.00 in it...

"For what it's worth...Don't do it again.."I said.

He passed me the Nickel Plated .45 , which was filled with blanks..

"I won't...Nice seeing you again Detective Alexander....Thanks for the bread.." said the man, who walked in the opposite direction...

I took a cigarette lighter and burned the negatives and I tossed the Hard drive from Gaskins laptop in the river....

Floyd Gaskins had been checkmated...He could no longer blackmail anybody...He couldn't report the robbery to the police...since no money had been taken...He'd have to explain why only his hard drive and some negatives were the only things taken and I'm certain he wouldn't want to have to explain that he was blackmailing people to the police...

I smiled...

A morning's work well done....

I drove back in town....We had packed the SUV... We just had one last meeting with Annette Collins before we left...

II-
 I met Olivia, Beverly,Nelson and Josie in a tony little bistro in downtown D.C.

 "Where have you been all morning lover?" asked Olivia.

"Doing the lord's work." I said.

 "Hahahahahahaha, or the devils." laughed Beverly.
 "Glad you got here D.R.  This food is bangin..."said Nelson..
"After the way those two partied last night...They needed some coffee and breakfast."laughed Josie..

''We heard you when you came in...Glad you guys got to enjoy yourselves...You can take this Monday off..all of you." said Olivia..

"You're the best boss ever." laughed Josie..

"Shame I don't work for you.."laughed Nelson...

"One day Nelson...One day...I talked to Robert...he said you can have the day off.."said Olivia...

"You are the coolest." laughed Nelson...
"Next to me right?" laughed Beverly hugging him...and kissing his cheek passionately..

"That goes without saying."laughed Nelson....who returned her sloppy kisses...

Just then Annette walked in...She looked like she'd been crying all night...

"Hello everyone...Check your bank accounts....I paid you all....and I paid your hotel bill...."said Annette..

"Thank you again..."she said.

"Somebody wants to talk to you." I said..

A tall thin well dressed young White guy walked over to our table...It was Tony Katz...

"Annette...I am sooo sorry...It was Floyd Gaskins...He made me do it.." he said.

"Miss me with that you traitor...I was your friend....I got you extra work...How could you stab me in the back like that?" she asked...

"He was blackmailing me too...He had photos of me with a certain Republican Senator...The Anti -Gay Marriage one..." said Tony...

Annette's eyes perked up...

"You Hooker you...HIM??? He's gay...???" she laughed ,putting her hands over her mouth...

" He's deep in the closet girlfriend... Gaskins had me dead to rights....He 's had me spying on you since you got him dismissed from the company...He wanted me to give these photos to the bosses...but I wouldn't do it...I refused...So I went to Ms. Olivia and Mr. Donnie Ray. Early this morning...I confessed everything." he said.

"That zip drive you have in your hands is the last remaining evidence of any impropriety on your part...I talked to Big Daddy and he handed his over and I got Floyd Gaskins hard drive and his negatives and destroyed them....He can no longer blackmail either of you."I said.


"HOW DID YOU DO THAT?" asked Olivia and Annette in unison...

"Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.."I said.

Beverly slapped her thighs and busted out laughing...

They knew not to inquire any further...As Attorneys, Olivia,Beverly and Annette as well as Nelson were safe not knowing or being privy to anything that I did...I had broken several laws this morning..Laws that as a police officer I had sworn to uphold..but I wasn't a cop anymore..So it didn't count...

That's what I liked about this Private Investigator business..

"Is Floyd.....Is he alright?" asked Annette..

"He's fine...Not a hair on his head was harmed...but when he comes to work this morning, he's going to be short some negatives and a hard drive...He'll be fine otherwise.."I said and winked...They all knew not to ask me anymore.

"I'd better not ever see that man again...ouuuuuuuuuuuuu  I'll kill him."said Annette...

"So heiffer, are we friends again?" asked Tony Katz..

"You whore.....Of course..." said Annette...who hugged Tony and kissed the gay man in the lips.

"Shame you're not straight...You'd be aroused after that kiss.."she said.

"Don't flatter yourself heiffer."joked Tony.

We paid our bill and prepared to leave...

Annette hugged Olivia...

"Thank you and your team Liv..Love you...I'm coming to Philly this summer...We have to hang out."said Annette...

"Be well Annette." said Olivia.

Surprisingly, she hugged Beverly for a long time...Both women began tearing up!

"I'm sorry Beverly....I'm so sorry about Larry, but I'm happy for you, Your new man and your success as an Attorney." she said..

"I'm sorry too girl...I was kind of mean....Maybe I can hang out with you and Auntay too when you come up to Philly."said Beverly...

"You better know it..."she said and she shook Nelson's hand...

"You got a good woman...Take care of her." she said.

"I will." he said.

She hugged Josie...

"Nice meeting you Josie.." she said..

"Same here.."said Josie.

"Mister Donnie Ray...Mister Donnie Rayyyy, you are a miracle worker....Thank you again....Liv, hold on to this one...He's a Keeper." she said.

I smiled wryly...

Olivia smiled...and held my hand as we all walked to our SUV and got in and smiled and waved at Annette and Tony Katz...

I had done a bit of right sizing this morning...I was happy...Justice had been served.. Olivia leaned her head up against my chest and we pulled off, with Bev,Nelson and Josie in tow...

Headed back to Philadelphia...

EPILOUGE-
A few weeks later, Annette Collins was sitting in a tony coffee shop in the suburbs of Washington D.C.


Attorney Floyd Gaskins walked in and invited himself to her table....He wasn't aware that she knew anything about what he had been up to..,.

"Well Hello Lady,How long has it been?" he said ,laughing...

"Not Long Enough..." said Annette...

"I uh heard you and uh Judge Courtland uh  broke off your engagement." he said.

"You Did? How did you hear that?" she asked..

"His niece and nephew were my clients..They hired me to get him out of that dreadful mental facility he was in..But uh you beat me to it...You hired those Philly lawyers..." he laughed..

"So did you give em their money back?" she asked.

"No...Legal advice and time....They still had to pay....So uh how are you doin.? Still at the job?" he asked.

"Just got a bonus....and a new case..a big one....So I'm going to be pretty busy.."she said.

"REALLY?" he said, incredulous and now realizing that Tony Katz didn't deliver the zip drive to the bosses...

"Yupper..." she said.

"Well perhaps now that you're newly single....You and I could uh ruh...Go out for uh drinks...maybe some dinner and uh maybe back to my place.....You know...WORK SOME THINGS OUTTTT!!" he chuckled..

"IN YOUR DREAMS!...That's never going to happen.....You Blackmailing son of a bitch!"she said.

"WHAT?  Now now now now now now now now now now....I-I-I don't know what you heard....but I had nothing to do with your recent troubles..." he said.

"FLOYD...Floyd honey, just stop lying...Stop the lying....please honey....Face it...You aint gettin none of this...Not NEVER!" she said and got up and walked out.......

He angrilly kicked  the table,spilling hot coffee on his trousers..


"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LAWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!" he screamed in pain.....




12 comments:

Sunflower said...

GREAT STORY! LOVED IT!

Angie B. said...

Can I co-sign on that?Loved it!

Toni said...

Can't believe I'm just now reading this...Loved it!..

Lisa said...

Floyd Gaskins got his in the end...Great story!

Halo said...

This was a wonderful story Keith ,with a satisfying ending!

Vanessa said...

LOVED IT,LOVED IT,LOVED IT!!!!

Brenda said...

Can't believe I'm just now reading this...Good story, Nice ending Keith!

Rita said...

Satisfying ending to a great story!

Cheryl said...

At first I thought this story was kind of weak, but as it went along it got some legs to it...Turned out to be a good story after all and the ending was priceless!

Grover Tha Playboy said...

Nice Man!

George S. said...

Nobody got killed and Nobody went to jail...Interesting...Maybe a first for an Escapades story!

James Perkins said...

George S. We are talking Lawyers here..Not Cops or P.I.'s. Great story Keith!