Desire Always Wins

The homes in this section of the city were very nice...A little out of my price range right now, but still very nice...Bridget must be doing very well for herself ,I thought...Then again...her gangster father , who paid for practically everything in her life , out of guilt...probably bought this house for her...Just like he set her up in business too...and paid for most of her graduate education.

When we were kids growing up, it seemed as though everybody knew Bridget's father was a gangster ,except her! Her mother and her had moved here in Philly when she was two years old and we rarely if ever saw her father...It was said that he and the mother were divorced....Yet neither of them ever wanted for anything!

His money had sent her to Fisk and then to New York City and finally back here to run two lingerie stores...
How ironic....both of the women in my life make their living selling panties....Cherry works at Victoria's Secret in the mall and Bridget has her own lingerie stores. I had to laugh at the thought of it!

As for Bridget's father...His gangster life style caught up to him..I read in the papers that they found his body in a burning building with two gunshots in the dome....Killed by his former partners...All of whom were now in jail..Live that life, die in that life I suppose....Wished I had known Bridget was in town...I would have comforted her...Like Cherry, her skin was so soft and she always smelled so good...Both women intoxicated me sexually...but in different ways.

I felt like a stalker, driving around, looking at her house, driving slowly through the neighborhood, surveying it...but ever since I had run into her a few days before...I couldn't get her off of my mind.

And then...I saw her...Walking into her store...."Lady Chatterlies Lover...panties and bras for the discriminating woman." Cute, I thought and laughed...It was sooo Bridget!

Well, no need in cruising around any further...Might as well go inside.

It was a nice clean little place...Smelled nice, nice displays....I walked around, looked at a few things...even picked a few things out!

"Calvin....What are you doing here?" came the voice of Bridget...

"Uh...Hey...Hey girl....I told you I was going to drop by your spot and check you out..I-I-I- uh mean check it out...uh...uh , check some things out...uh..." I found myself saying and all of a sudden feeling like the biggest fool...


''I know what you meant..What you got there?" she asked.

"Uhhhh, what have I-uh...got? Uh." I said.

"Panties....and a lace bra?...a Teddy and a baby doll!!!Ouuuuuuuu." she answered...She took them and she inspected them...Then looked at me sheepishly....

Why did I pick up lingerie??, What was I thinking? I was suddenly very embarrassed and sorry I had even walked in.

"Your lady friend is a little smaller than I am, I see." she mused.

"Yeah, she's petite." I said holding my head down...Wondering why I even said that!

''Calvin!! You're blushing...Oh My goodness, look at you! What are you blushing for? ,I'm happy for you...Happy that you've found somebody...Is she nice?" she asked.

"Yeah...she's okay." I said.

"She must be more than just okay...If you're buying this stuff for her...I'd say that this is kind of personal." she said ,giving me the side eye..

"Well, I just met her a few months ago....We've only been on two dates." I said.

"And you've slept with her!" said Bridget.

"Huh?" I said.

"I know you have....You wouldn't be buying this stuff if you hadn't, right?" she asked.

''Yeah...I've slept with her." I confessed...

"Must have blown your mind if after two dates you buying drawers for her." she said and laughed...

I finally loosened up and laughed myself..

"You blew my mind once...one rainy night before you got married....I aint been right since that night." I said softly...

"Really Calvin?. That was seven years ago." she said softly...

I walked up to her closely...

"Yes....I haven't been able to get you off of my mind since then...That's why I went to Atlanta...I thought I could forget about you....Bridget, I tried...I tried ,but you can't run from yourself...I wound up right back here in Philly...Working....I don't live too far from where I work." I said.

"Bet you hang out in Josies, Don't you? Surprised I haven't seen you there..I'm there quite a bit." she said.

"Sometimes....I like the Aqua Bar and this other spot, Roxys." I said. ''Why don't you have a drink with me at Roxys after work sometimes?" I asked.

"Calvin....What about your new lady friend?" asked Bridget...

"Well.....Uh, We aren't a couple yet..I mean not officially...We've only been out twice..You know, we kinda buildin somethin...but I wouldn't say we really deep like that." I said, feeling as if I was betraying Cherry...I didn't even know why I was talking like this...Boy, I felt like the biggest heel at that moment.

"You like her don't you?" she asked.

"I do, I need to stop frontin with you Bridget...I like her a lot...I like her almost as much as I hate myself right now." I said.

''Why you hate yourself Calvin?" she asked.

"Because as much as I like her, as much as I'm thinking about starting a relationship with her...I find myself still attracted to you...Still wanting you." I said..

"Calvin, no...no...That's not right...You shouldn't be thinking about me.....You and me?...The timing was never right for us...I had a man, back then and now you got a woman...Let's just break clean...be friends..." she said.

"I don't know if I can do that Bridget...I don't know if I can ever be just your friend." I said.

''Why?  I've done it...I've broken clean...I'm trying to go on with my life....I lost two men, my husband and you....Two men I loved." she said.

''What happened with you and Mike?" I asked...

"It wasn't right between us...I wanted to be ...I wanted to have a career...He wanted me to stay at home and have his children...Which I would have done eventually....but you know how it was then?...I had my masters degree from Columbia, I thought I was Miss it..I was out there chasing a dollar, trying to seperate myself from my father's money and his influence.Tryin to be Superwoman...In the end, that came between both of us...We slid our seperate ways....Like I told you. Me and Mike split amicably and he remarried within a year and moved out to Cali....I had no friends, no relatives in New York City, So I came back to Philly." she said. "How bout you? What did you do? she asked.

"I moved to the ATL....It was cool....I dated a lot...Never settled on any one woman, Made a pile of money,but I just felt that something was missing...I just felt empty...Probably why I partied so much, Stayed drunk half the time...I couldn't stop thinking about you.....So I came back here...I realized that you were married and gone and there was nothing I could do about it....And now....Here you are and Here I am and I'm just looking for...for...something...something to come full circle." I said.

"What? You need closure?  I thought it was only women that needed closure. At least that's what Steve Harvey says." she said.

"Bridget ,look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't care about me, that you don't feel anything for me and I'll walk out of here and you'll never see me again." I said.

"Calvin...don't get all dramatic on me..Come on now..Let's not do this." she said.

"Tell me Bridget! Tell me you don't still feel something, just a little something." I said.

"I can't tell you that...I went on my prom with you...remember? We got history!You were such a gentleman... I knew I loved you, even back then, but you were so shy,so cool, you never would say how you really felt.Always with the aloofness...Honey Brown knew...She tried to tell me that you liked me...She told me on graduation day." she said.

"Rozanda??Wow...Heard she and Bernard got married again...I'm glad...They were made for each other.."I said.

"So were me and you...the timing was just always wrong for us." said Bridget.

Before either of us knew what was happening...we were kissing....right there in the middle of the floor....Customers walking by and everything.... Bridget broke our embrace...

''Whoa..We shouldn't have done that...We need to fall back..." she said.

"You need to fall back." I said.

II-

Bridget and I never made it to that bar, Roxys...After she got off work, we wound up in her house in her bedroom......

I was stripped down to my boxers , Her blouse and her bra was on the floor, I lifted her up and hiked her skirt up, slipped her panties down and slowly, gently, entered her....

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Calvin....I haven't had sex in two years....ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my goddddddddddd....ohhhhhhhhhhh it feels soooooooooooo goooooooooooooooooodddd." she said..

I couldn't believe she had been without sex for two years....I certainly hadn't!! I took my time...kissing her and thrusting mightily into her as though the world was coming to an end....I was going to show her what I had learned....

"Ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu sweeeet lorddddd...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." she moaned....

"OHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Bridget...I've misssed you sooooooooooo much!' I moaned....

 She wrapped her legs around my back and I went in...I mean...I was trying my best to give her something she could feel....

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CALVINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.."she continued to moan...

Her bed squeaked louder than mine... and at one point I thought we were going to split the headboards....

An hour of this was all Bridget could take , she began to climax furiously and I felt myself about to explode...
,I pulled out and exploded like a gusher.....

''Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmphhhhh.." I moaned...

Bridget and I lie across the bed, sweating and panting....

"Calvin...what did we just do?" she said..

"What did we do? , We made love." I said.

"No we didn't..We had sex...that's what we had...This isn't love." she said.

" Bridget,It was more than just sex...At least it was to me!" I said.

"You have a girlfriend...This aint right...This is so wrong on so many levels." she said.

"Bridget" I said, almost pleadingly.

"Calvin...Come on get up...Let's get dressed.." she said.

She put on a robe and she walked toward the shower....

I looked at her and smiled...

"No we aint taken a shower together." she said.

I showered and got dressed....Bridget gave me some lotion....

We sat on the bed together...I went to put my arms around her , but she moved my arms away...

''Calvin this wasn't right...I don't think you should come back here ." she said.

"What did I do?" I asked.

"It wasn't all you...I was horny...I haven't had a date or been with a man in two years...You kind of showed up at the right time....The right time for you! I'm ashamed of myself for being so weak." she said and hung her head...

"I don't look at it that way." I said.

"I suppose you wouldn't....Calvin...the timing isn't right....Go be with your new girl.... and maybe one day I'll find a guy for me...or maybe , we'll find each other some other time." she said.

"You're sending me away again...and this time...It's my fault." I said.

"It's not your fault...Just bad timing is all." she said.

''Desire always wins." I said.

''Does it? Does it really Calvin? Goodbye Calvin." she said and walked me to the door.

III-

Hours later, I was in Josies Bar....practically the other side of this section of Philadelphia...in an area that was a little more working class...Gus poured me some rum and coke...I sat there drinking alone for a long time, when I smelled a particular fragrance and was tapped on my shoulder....I looked up and to my surprise, it was Cherry! Cherry Johnson.

I turned around and my eyes nearly popped out of my head...

"WOW! You look great!'' I said.

"Thank you...Where have you been? I haven't seen you in a few days." she said.

"Been workin at the other store." I said.

"I thought so...I stopped by the store in the mall and that's what they told me." she said.

"I'm beat!" I sighed as I drank...

"Rough Day?" she asked...

"You just don't know...I'm sapped of all my energy." I said, hating myself...

"Yeah, me too...Wanna come by my place and just watch a movie or something?" she said.

I smiled..."That would be nice." I said...

She was so nice... She deserved so much better than me...

We left shortly afterwords.... Cherry changed into some sweat pants and we laid on her bed watching some movie, I can't even remember...She made some popcorn and passed me a Coke...she enjoyed the movie...I don't even remember it!...I was so lost in what I'd just done earlier today...

I was too weak for sex...Even though she deserved to have it ,if she wanted it...She rested her petite body up under my shoulder and drifted off to sleep..I kissed her forehead and all the while thinking about Bridget..

What was I going to do? I could mess around and lose them both!

(TO BE CONTINUED...)