Neighbors & Naked Strangers

An Average Saturday Morning in the neighborhood...My wife ,Sepia was fixing pancakes and hot sausages for me in the kitchen...I could smell the hot links and fresh coffee brewing from the window.  I was outside washing my car and hers with the hose...People were coming out to get their morning newspaper or coffee and doughnuts from down the street...The barbershop was just starting to get crowded...and a few guys who had been out way later than they should be were just starting to wander or may I say...stumble home..I smiled.

Like I said...It was just another average Saturday morning....At least..it started out like that...Nothing about this Saturday would be average and that's just putting it lightly...My peace and quiet was interrupted by the sound of a door slamming across the street from me,....

"HEYYYYYY......HEYYYYY Brenda, stop playin...OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR....YOU PLAY TOOO DAMN MUCH...I AINT GOT A STITCH OF CLOTHES ON....OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!" came the screams of Willie Green....He was as naked as the day he was born and had soap suds and water all over him as if he'd been in the shower!!!!

I heard raucous laughter coming from inside the house....Willie continued to pound on the door..."HEYYYYYY......HEYYYYY Brenda, stop playin...OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR....YOU PLAY TOOO DAMN MUCH...I AINT GOT A STITCH OF CLOTHES ON....OPEN THE DAMN DOOR! Don't let me have to come in there after you!"said Willie.

"HA...That would be a neat trick." laughed his wife....Brenda...

A woman and a small child just happened to be walking down the street...upon seeing Willie's naked body, she screamed and covered her child's eyes-   "OH MY GOD!" and hurried past...I was too stunned by what I was seeing to do anything...I just stood there...

"Oh my God Willie....What happened?" came the voice of a young shapely and attractive woman named Belinda Rhodes...She lived across the street from me also...She dashed towards Willie and took her blouse off and used it to cover what part of him she could...Every neighborhood has a Belinda Rhodes...The neighbor that sees everything and knows everybody's business...Gladys Kravitz for the new millenium if you will....But Darrin and Samantha's newsy neighbor never looked like Belinda Rhodes..By her taking her blouse off to cover Willie, She now exposed her huge breasts that were fighting to stay inside her bra to the entire neighborhood...Now this was becoming a circus..

Windows were opening , People were looking and phones were ringing..Finally, Brenda Green opened the door and allowed her naked and soapy husband to come inside...She tossed Belinda Rhodes blouse back to her and sneered-

"Cover yourself up...you're making a spectacle of yourself."

Belinda snapped back-

"Grow up....you've got a good man in Willie and you're blowing it with your childish behavior..."

"Bye Hater." snapped Brenda as she slammed the door.

Just another Saturday huh?   It hadn't even started yet!

II-

That night, Sepia, Bonita and Robert Foxworth, Sean and Sheila Jackson and I shared a booth at Josies with Belinda Rhodes.....She of course filled everyone else in on what I had already witnessed...This morning's shenanigans... Of course everybody was laughing as hard as they could...

"You know she came to me once wanting me to represent her in a divorce hearing...Then three days later, she changed her mind." said Robert Foxworth.

"Yeah....I seen em making out in the car in the parkin lot one time like teenagers...I don't know what to make of them sometimes." said Sean Jackson.

"He's a good man, a hard workin man and he don't fool around....any woman would be glad to have a man like Willie Green...That deep voice, that chocolate skin...that...." said Belinda....Then she stopped and collected herself...Sepia, Sheila and Bonita were all staring at her in that way that women stare at each other when they suspect that there is more to something than what meets the eye..

I got up and excused myself and headed towards the restroom....When I was on my way out...Who did I see but Fat Sam Collins....a two bit wanna be hood who thought he was a lover...and he had Willie Green's wife, Brenda hemmed up against the wall....He had one hand up her skirt and was breathing on her as if he were trying to kiss her...She was grinning and moving his hand...

''Come on now Brenda...When you gone get rid of that weak ass husband of yours so I can move in with you?" he asked , grinning.

"Hmmmph, YOU?  so you can move in and do what?" she said, grinning...

"Make sweet love to you all night long." he drawled...

"My husband is a weak ass nigguh, but he works, he got money and he aint no slouch in the bedroom...You on the other hand...aint got no job, aint got no crib..you live wit yo mama and I don't think you can see yours over your belly Sam." she said.

"Awww, now that's cold Brenda...I got money,plenty of money...When Fathead Newton needs a special job done...who you think he call?  I'm his left hand man baby and I don't live with my moms...I live with my Aunt."said Fat Sam Collins...

"When you get your own place and some steady money, give me a call then." said Brenda , still laughing and walking away..Sam looked right in my face...

"What's goin on Kev?" he said.

"Apparently not much." I remarked and kept walking..

III-

Reed Nelson and his band were really cooking tonight and we stayed until after their last set was over...Which was around 1:00 am....The bar still had one hour left, but practically all of us said that we wanted to make church tomorrow and for that...we had better get home and get some sleep..So we paid our tab and began headin for the door.

"Looks like all of the old married couples are calling it a night eh? " joked Gus good naturedly as Sepia and I,
Robert Foxworth and Bonita and Sean Jackson and Sheila all headed towards the door.

"That's right man, we are going to church tomorrow." I said.

"Church? Well I guess yall need to go after a night of sinnin....hehheheheheh...Hey anybody seen Fat Sam Collins?  He didn't pay his drink tab." said Gus.

"I saw him a couple of hours ago." I said and we headed out the door....It was then that we heard a blood curdling scream coming from the parking lot...The six of us rushed to the parking lot , where a crowd of people who had just left Josies saw a horrifying scene.....Fat Sam Collins was sprawled on the pavement, dead with two gunshot wounds to the head and what looked like purplish red lickstick written across his shirt!

FAT BASTARD!   it read!!!!

I walked over to his corpse....I scanned the crowd.....I asked if anybody had seen or heard anything...Of course nobody had.....Last time I saw this guy, he had had his hands up another man's wife's dress....That man wasn't here...or had he been??? Like I said...This was just another normal Saturday!

Yeah! Right!

(To Be Continued....)