Thursday, July 29, 2010

A Little Black Dress

4 Months Before- New York City-

We had been criss crossing Europe and parts of the United States as part of our most recent tour...New York was our last stop on this leg...Most of my bandmates were exhausted and I remembered that we still had a half a dozen dates on the West Coast...

"Man Reed, why did you book us on so many dates?" said my keyboardist, "88"

"Heyy man, I'm sorry...I wasn't thinking...but hey man...we've made a lot of bread." I said ,trying to smooth things over..

"True , but we gotta have time to spend it." laughed 88.

"Yeah babe you right...Well..listen...I got an idea...I wanna go home to Philly anyway..I miss Deborah and I know you missin Mabel..So ,Downtown Rob Brown is playin Fishcake Steven's joint tonight...I'll see if he can take a few of our West Coast dates...Kid can probably use the dough." I said.

"Yeah, Ask him." said "88"

Later on that day, I was in Times Square when who did I run into with several boxes but Downtown Rob Brown...

"Heyy Man, what's happenin?" I said.

"Oh just doin a little lightweight's all.....You know Black is my favorite color...I just bought a Black dress for Delores that will cling to every curve of that body of hers." he said.

"I see...You bought her two dresses? You have two boxes." I observed.

"Nahhh....This is a dress for another little number I 've been kind of boppin around with...She's a singer...She's kind of in a relationship with this baseball
player...He's from Philly....but me and her been kind of on a friends with benefits tip." he laughed.

"You live dangerously playa." I said.

"I live my life in the all of a sudden good brother." said Rob.

"Game you playin, you'll wind up in the here after." I laughed.

"Maybe, but I'll have a big smile on my face...heheheheheh." laughed Rob.

"Say look..while you're here....I got about nine or ten dates out on the West Coast that we are not going to be able to make....They pay interested
??" I asked ,Hoping he would be.

"Yeah-Yeahhh..If they payin..Downtown Rob Brown is playin...." he laughed.

"Good...Here is my manager's address and phone number...His name is Hugh
Bennie..Call him and tell him I okayed the West Coast dates...He'll make the

"That'll work...Good Lookin out Reed." he laughed...

"Don't mention it...Hey man, I hope those dresses are two different colors..."I said.

"Well, I bought three dresses..One is red...and two are black.....The red one is for the singer and the other black one is for this other chick...She won't hardly be a problem...She don't hang out..." he laughed.

I laughed and just shook my head....

"Be Easy Rob." I said as I walked away.

"Always Reed...Always." he laughed.
Today-Philadelphia PA.

I arrived at Deborah's house just in time for breakfast..She had whipped up some Blueberry Pancakes & Suasages and some Home Fries...Amongst her many talents..The girl could cook...

As we sat at the table and ate and drank Mimosas..the doorbell rang.

"Let yourself in's open." said Deborah.

Her sister Delores came in in a stunning Black dress that looked like it was painted on her...I didn't want Deb to catch me checking her sister out, but I had to admit..She did look hot in that dress.

"You likes?" she laughed gigling like a school girl...

"Wow Del, you look great!" said Deborah..

"Yeah..uh, you look like a million bucks." I said.

"Rob bought it for me from New York..." she gushed.

"You wearin it tonight when we go to Josies?" asked Deborah...

"Sure am...My baby loves a woman in Black.....You should see what he bought me to wear under it..." she laughed.

I sure hoped that Ingrid's dress was red. I wondered if Rob knew that she was going to be performing tonight...I had to call him and at least warn him. I thought about it for a minute..Then I said to myself..Nah...This ought to be fun!

Josies was packed that night....Ingrid had finnally broke off from Symphony Sam's band and had put together a band of her own... She had Ivory Joe Peters on the Electric Piano, Christopher "Big Poppa" Combs on the Drums, Fred "Fried Fish" Collins on the Guitar , "Shady" Grady Tatum on Bass and Nate "The Snake" Howard ,also on Guitar. I knew all of those guys..All of them had sat in with me at one time or other..They were some of the funkiest cats in town, on the East Coast for that matter. Baby girl knew her stuff as far as picking musicians. It was going to be a good night.

Johnny "Yankee Killer" Diamond....The baseball player and former boyfriend of Ingrid Rhodes was in the crowd...He didn't look too happy and he didn't look like he came to listen to music either. Fathead Newton, The West Philly Crime Boss and former lover of Cherry Johnson was also in the crowd...He and Cherry were having a heated discussion....She looked like she was trying to ignore him...She was wearing a stunning red dress..No doubt , a gift from Downtown Rob Brown...I couldn't believe this...Did he know she would be here tonight?

The lights went down and the band began playing a driving number that had everybody up and dancing....When they were finished..Symphony Sam came to the podium...He was smiling..Maybe there was no hard feelings...

"Ladies and Gentlemen..It gives me great pleasure to introduce..or should I say,re-introduce a young lady who is a rising star in the business...a young lady who is the business...yall put your hands together and show ya love for Ms. Ingrid Rhodes.."

The place went wild...I looked around..Rob was sitting in the audience with Delores...I don't think he had any idea that Ingrid was the headliner tonight!!To make matters worse...She came out in the exact same Black dress that Delores had on...!!! Rob's mouth dropped wide open....He looked around and saw Cherry Johnson talking to Fathead and he really got a lump in his throat.

Then Ingrid came up to the mike-

"I've got a special song that I would like to sing tonight...It's called-"Dedicated to the man I love." And it is dedicated to him...Yall know him....One of the best Trumpet players in Philly..Downtown Rob Brown!!!" she yelled...

Rob nearly crapped his pants...Delores looked at the dress, then at him,then at her...and a loud slap was heard!...To make matters worse..Cherry was looking at her dress..It was Red, but it was the same style...and it was from Rob...Her mouth was wide open..She yelled out- "You lousy dog..oh my God!!"

Rob excused himself and began easing his way through the crowd....Oblivious to all of this, Ingrid Rhodes belted out her song....

"Reed..Reed..You gotta help me out man....How do I get out of here?" he asked.

"There's a back exit over there." I said pointing to the rear exit.

"You idiot..what you buy three of the same kind of dress for and the same style?" I said.

"Hell, there was a sale ,how did I know that all three of em was gone choose the same night to wear the damn dress..and come to the same spot?" he said.

"Never mind that, you better get in the wind...Here comes Delores,Debbie and Cherry." I said.

"Oh lord...okay, I'm out...Thanks a lot Reed..I'll check ya later man." he said as he ran to the exit.

He opened the door and the fire alarm went off..To make matters worse..The sprinklers came on....The entire crowd was drenched with water,including Ingrid Rhodes...


"What idiot set the alarm off?" screamed Gus as he ran past me...

Okay...Okay, I admit....I knew that was going to happen..I should have told the young boy..but I couldn't resist it....I know....I know I'm going to hell...but I'm gonna have such a smile on my face!

(Conclusion Next)


Anonymous said...

LMAO!! Loved it. Reed is too much. I would have done the same thing. Little wanna-be playa. lol

Toni said...


Angie B. said...

ROTFLMBAO! Keith, you are a fool!

Sunflower said...

Is this based off of something that really happened to you? It sounds like it is!

Lisa said...

OH My God....I'm still laughing my head off...My sides are hurting!

Halo said...

This was crazy!

Cheryl said...

Little Wanna Be playa...He got what he deserved!

Grover Tha Playboy said...

No real playa worth his salt would have ever made a mistake like that!

Vanessa said...

ROTFLMBAO! Keith,Keith,Keith..This was too damn funny!

Brenda said...

This was funny!

Tate 2 said...

ROTFLMBAO! Give a brotha a break Keith...Oh my God...This poor guy had the worst night imaginable.

Samuel Bastion said...

Great Storytelling! I needed a good laugh and this story gave it to me!

James Perkins said...

Of all the bad nights I've ever had...I've never had a disaster like that! LOL

Swaggie said...

Man,I'm still rollin!

Jazzy said...

That was crazy Fam! LOL!

Captain Jack said...

That was too crazy!

Sean said...

Incredibly Funny!