Cat On The Hot Tin Roof!

SPRING 1991- The Culinary Institute of Pennsylvania-

I was just a few months from graduating from the Culinary Institute of Pennsylvania...I had come here thinking that there was nothing they could teach me...I had been cooking and preparing food since I could walk..My Father and Mother had a catering business in West Philly afterall...But a chance to get a formal education and a generous scholarship had changed my mind..I had learned a wealth of knowledge from this institute...

I was walking on campus, One early morning..The first time I laid eyes on Skye...

Hard to believe that she became that woman that I had just had mind blowing once in a lifetime sex with the night before...She wasn't quite that built, but she was nice enough to see that she would become such..one day...

She had on a discman..She dropped her book..I picked it up..Our eyes met...She had a sweet smile and a disarming manner that made you feel like you had waited your entire lifetime for a woman like her..

"Heyy." I found myself saying..

''Hey yourself" she said.

"You..uhh dropped your book." I said.

"Really?" she said half sarcastically..Of course she knew that she had...

"What'cha listenin to?" I asked...

"Heavy D.& The Boyz" she said.

"Cool...I digs them...That big guy sure can move." I laughed.

"Yeah..he's light on his feet." She said.

"My name is Ralph..Ralph Scallion...I'm from Philly.." I said.

"I'm Skye..Skye Caldwell...I'm from Philly too....." she said.

"Wow...small world ." I said, which was really dumb.....about a third of the students were from Philly...with the other two thirds from Pittsburg and Harrisburg....

I walked her to her room...We bought hot dogs and lemonade from a stand along the way and we talked...Of course I asked her for her pager and phone numbers...It was in the days before cell phones and smartphones were in vogue...Anybody who was anybody had a pager!

"I'd love to give them to you Ralph, but my man wouldn't like that." she said with a weak smile.

"Wow..I figured a fine babe like you had a man...Why wouldn't you?" I said.

"Thank You Ralph." she said blushing..."You don't have a girl?" she continued..

"Oh I mess around a bit, but nothin serious..I've really been into my cooking.." I said.

"Would I have been someone for you to uh mess around with?" she asked...

"Who? You?? Ohhhh nooo...You'd I'd be serious about...I'm graduating soon..You I'd be lookin to settle down with...That is uh..if you was available." I said.

She laughed...I loved her laugh...It put me so at ease...

"You're funny Ralph Scallion....I was just kidding you..but thank you for the compliments though..you made me blush..I wish my man would talk to me like that..Sometimes he acts like I'm not around." she said.

"He must be certifiablely crazy or blind one of the two..or both...Sheeeet..if you was my woman, I wouldn't let you outta my sight." I said.

"Stopp....you're making me blush..stop Ralph Scallion.." she said.

"Well Ms. Skye..Can I at least talk to you again..It has been a pleasure.."I said.

"I enjoyed talking to you too...I'm sure we'll see each other again." she said.

Then she walked up to her room...I was feelin something I had never felt before....All I could think about was Skye...I talked about her to everybody I knew...Even People I didn't like...I told them all how mellow she was and how pretty and laid back she was!!
I was enthralled....

Then one of the other cooking students told me...

"Man, you need to stop talking about her..Do you know who her man is?? It's Cat, Cat Haskins." he said.

''Cat Haskins!!! man..She coulda done so much better than that bum." I said.

Broderick "Cat" Haskins was a snooty hoity toity student teacher who everybody hated. He wasn't above taking somebody else's recipe idea and palming it off as his own. 

He had the ear of the Top Chefs and instructors there and he had a lot of power..Power he didn't deserve...  He manipulated people into turning against each other and sat back and laughed...

It was a very competitive atmosphere at the school.   He hated me with a passion..He considered me a smart alec, which I was..but I was a damn good cook too and the expected valedictorian of this class..Which was the only reason that he kind of had to handle me with kid gloves...

I would love nothing better than to take his woman from him...You know me!

II-

"Friday Night...I will be entertaining a large gathering of Alumni at our town's rooftop bar and restaraunt "Hot Tin Roof" said Head Chef and Instructor, Gussippee Gepetti..

"I would like two of my top chefs, Ralph Scallion and Tony Dowell to prepare the meal." he said.

"Uh Chef Gepetti...That is a very important event....I feel as though it would call for someone a little more seasoned.." said Cat Haskins.

"Someone like yourself Broderick?" asked the exasperated Gussippee Gepeti.

"Why uh yes Chef!" he said.

"Hmmm..I see..Well why don't the three of you work together..Just prepare us something sensational." he said.

Both Tony and I cringed at the thought of working with Cat Haskins...

He smirked and he pulled me to the side...

"Heard you was tryin to make time with my woman Scallion..." he said.

"Oh yeah?" I asked.

"I don't want to hear about you talkin to her again...You haven't graduated yet." he smirked.. "Would hate for something to happen, like a transcript gettin lost or suddenly a bad grade...feel me..I got pull in high places....Did I make myself clear?" he said.

"Look man, all I did was have a simple conversation with-" I said.

"DID I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR SCALLION?" he said.

"Yeah man, loud and clear." I said.

"Now...I want both of you to turn over your recipes to me by tomorrow afternoon for my inspection." he said and then walked out.

I really hated this guy......and of course you know that this meant war!

III-

It never pays to have too many enemies.....Someone is always willing to help someone who doesn't like you!
My friend Tony Dowell was just one such person...and he had asked around about Cat Haskins..Truth be told..So had I , trying to find anything...some dirt of some kind to use against him...It wasn't hard and it didn't take too long...

We found a young girl who lived in the town who dropped a bomb shell on us! She had given birth to Cat Haskin's child just a year ago...His family had paid and was paying her a healthy sum of money to keep quiet about it.. So why was she talking to us?? Because frankly..she had grown to hate his guts as had just about everyone except Skye who had come across him...

If we just happened to come across birth records from the county....It wasn't her fault..after all...she didn't know us....If we happened to have snapped a photo of her with said baby...It wasn't her fault..she didn't attend the school and we didn't know her???  I had already mailed this information to Skye..She'd be getting it right around the time, Tony and I would be preparing that meal at Tin Roof...

That was nothing compared to what someone else had to tell us....Cat apparently was "cattin around" on Skye with another woman.....a student named Felicia Ross from Harrisburg...We knew her...She was fine...but nowhere near Skye's league.... The person who volunteered the information was another young lady who had spurned Cat's advances and had paid a hefty price...A grade here and there was changed..and her average was dropped....He had "friends"...followers who would do anything he so desired....Probably the same ones who had ratted me out...

Well....We had it on good word that Cat was up in one of the dorm rooms with Felicia as I speak ,gettin a little noon time action.....We had one of Tony's female classmates give Skye an anonymous call....With all of the details and the location...

Tony and I sat in the room next to where Cat was ...With another of his "fans" and waited for the fireworks..
What we heard already was astounding...

" Ohhhh baby...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh babbby...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's so goood....ouuuuuu, give it tooo meeeeeee....aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."


''OH CATTTTTTTTTT...CATTTTTTTTTTT...ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...you is hittin my spot..ohhhhh."


"MEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW baby...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...I'm gone wear youuuuuuu outttttttttttttttt....owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..." 

Tony and I and the girl held our mouths to keep from bursting out laughing....

"Is this guy for real?" laughed Tony...

"Shhhh..you gone get us caught...Why you think they call him Cat? Cause he meows when he's making love." said the girl..

"And how do you know that?" I asked..

"That's what I heard." said the girl sheepishly as Tony and I smiled and gave her the side eye.

"OH MY GOD!!! CAT!... IS THAT YOU...OHHHHHH I DON'T BELIEVE YOU...YOU DiRTY DOG!"
came a female voice...It was Skye!!!

"What are you doing here?? How did you find us? WHo, Who, Who, Who..Whoooo tole you?" said Cat..

"It doesn't matter...Oh my God..just go away from me...You lousy bastard...Oh I don't believe it..You said you loved me...Oh my God...Just get away from me.." said Skye..

''Baby wait...this was just sex..She means nothing to me...It's you I love." said Cat.

"WHAT?  You lying dog you...Comin over here all times of night and day, beggin me for it...Liar..you said you loved ME!!!!" said the other girl....

"You can have him!" said Skye as she stormed out!

"I don't want him...Get your crap and get outta here." said the other girl..

We laughed our heads off and high fived it in the other room.

We may have gotten back at old Cat Haskins...but the downside was that Skye was devestated...See,unknown to me ..They were engaged!!!  They had even set a date for their wedding...and now...it was off!! Because of my guilt..I didn't have the heart to approach Skye and she probably didn't want to hear anything a man had to say at this point...

Cat begged and pleaded...but Skye never forgave him....He didn't show up at Tin Roof that night either...Tony and I cooked a delicious meal that got raves...It made the papers !!!!

Chef Gepetti was pleased....We graduated with honors.....Tony got a job as a chef in New York City where he worked for many years...Today he has a cable television show where he travels around the world and samples the cuisine...My man Tony..Skye left and worked out on the West Coast for a time..She married, had a son, who like my daughter is graduating from here today and she got divorced...She presently lives on Long Island..

As for Cat Haskins....He got a job at a big time Restaurant and Bistro in New York City.....He was in the bakery one night in 1998, and he either fell or was pushed into one of the giant mixing bowls while it was on!!!....They found his mangled body mixed up in the dough the next morning....What a way to go...but it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy!

I know....I'm going to hell for saying that!

(Conclusion Next!)