Monday, July 29, 2013

Man In A Hot Tub!

Yeah, Sometimes I hate Monday Mornings...When I have to go to a crime scene first thing in the morning without eating breakfast...I hate it...When I spent the night before...without Carlotta in my bed I hate it...When it's kind of cold still and I had to rush and get my coffee..I hate it even more...And when the primary isn't Carlotta..I really hate it!!  This wasn't one of those Mondays!

True, I was going to the crime scene first thing in the morning without eating breakfast, but I was happy...I kind of had a glow if you will.... Carlotta had been in my bed the night before...boy had she...She  had reduced my health last night and early this morning.....It's summer time and the middle of a major heatwave...So I don't mind....and my new wife, Detective Carlotta Rodriguez-Wallace is the primary in this case...So I'm even happier...


Yes..I'm Keith Porterhouse Wallace, Assistant District Attorney...I prosecute homicides...and other high profile cases that involve Major Crimes and Special Victims.....

I arrived at the home of  one of the city's movers and Shakers... Former Semi-Pro Football player, turned author, Reese Younger....I arrived with four patrolmen all carrying hot steaming tumblers of coffee...
for my detectives...

I've been at grisly murder scenes before....This wasn't one of them... The victim, 37 year old Reese Younger was sitting , seemingly peacefully in a jacuzzi full of water....His eyes were still open and he lie in the pool stiff as a board...It almost looked as if he were sleeping...

The first person I saw was my lovely wife of two months, Detective Carlotta Rodriguez-Wallace...She and Dr. Hazel Hunter were examining the body.....

I don't know what it was, but looking at the both of them with latex gloves on was turning me on something crazy....

"Is this a homicide?" I asked....He just didn't look like there had been any foul play done to him.

''Heyy Honey Bunny."said Carlotta who gave me a wet sloppy kiss on the lips...

"It most certainly is a homicide ADA Wallace." said Dr. Hunter...Check out his chest....The slight burn mark...He was tasered with a very powerful taser....It caused him to go into cardiac arrest.." she continued...

"He had a heart condition...I found these pills in the bathroom for blood pressure control and these other ones for keeping his heart rhythm steady." said Carlotta.

"Hmmm...Here's some coffee for you both." I said.

Detective James "Jimmy" Barlow and Detective Tony Hopkins walked into the room....

"Hey Jimmy, Hop...Here's some coffee for you." I said.

"Thanks ADA." they both said.

"What do you guys have?" asked Carlotta.

"We saw a broken basement window....Which I initially thought was the killers point of entry." said Jimmy.

"But when we looked at the way the glass splattered...We realized that the glass was broken from the inside and that the little table underneath the window was too light to carry anybody's weight that was over say, seven years old." said Hop..

"That whole thing was staged." said Jimmy.

By now Police photographers and C.S.I. guys were examining the entire house for prints and DNA...

Carlotta and Hazel continued to examine the body.....

"My My My...what a waste ...This was a good looking man. Look at thet tattoo on his back..wonder what that means?..." said Hazel....

"Aye Caramba....Yes....Look at him.This  tattoo is something my cousin Ernesto would love." said Carlotta , who felt the water without her latex glove on....



"It's burning hot!!!!!....." she exclaimed...

I looked at the temperature...It was well over boiling.....

"Good Lord....Someone meant for this guy to die...Either boil him to death or taser him to death.." I said.

"Carlotta!!! I found a print...a slight print over here on the alarm system.." said Jimmy.

"I found a smudge over here too...I'm sure there are lots of prints here..We just have to figure out whose prints don't belong here." she said.  "You got everything Hazel?" she asked.

"Yeah...I need to look at him at the M.E.'s office." she said.

"Okay, release the body." said Carlotta...

At that the body was released....

Carlotta looked at me and smiled...

"You know...I didn't pay attention to his football career at all...but I read his book, "The Joy of Sex in the New Millenium" a couple of times and I watch his info-mercial too...and you know I hate infomercials." she said.

"You read his book eh?" I laughed...

She laughed too..."Yes...I did." she said.


"That explains a lot." I said.

"It explains what?" she said.

"Why you're so good in bed and you've got me practically under your spell on most days...I can hardly concentrate on my work." I said.

"That's not the fault of the book or me...You're just a horny guy." she laughed....

"I can't help it....I mean look at you?" I said and pulled her to me and kissed her...

"Stoppp...there's still people in here!!...Later, okay?" she said and gave me a short kiss on the lips...then added-

"But I like what you said...You are sooo good for a girl's ego and self esteem!" she laughed.



II-

We arrived at Lt. Sissy Van Buren's Office just in time to see her sitting in her office with a desperate ,pained look on her face...Lt. Ed Cantrell had caught up with her once again and was talking her head off and flirting..

"So Sissy...I'm thinking ....maybe you could use some more manpower over here..." he laughed..

"Lt. Cantrell...I have Carlotta, Duke, Tyriq, Jimmy and Tony,plus ample uniforms and other detectives assigned to me...I'm just fine..." she said.

"What about Angie? Has she made her mind up about returning to homicide?"He asked..

"I think she's fine in I.A." said Sissy...

"Well, you got room for another detective..." he said.

"I have room for two more...but I'm not desperate for manpower...I'm fine."said Sissy..

"You sure are fine Sissy...Lawd have mercy....Maybe you need a different kind of manpower....you know what I'm sayin?? Heh ,heh, heh?"he said.

"Lt. Cantrell, come on now...you promised you wouldn't be nasty." said Sissy...

I was close to laughing out loud...but I didn't... Carlotta used that cue to burst into Sissy's office...

"I caught a high profile case Boss Lady." blurted out Carlotta, then she turned and acted as if she didn't know Lt. Cantrell was in the office... "Ohhhh excuse me...I didn't know you had company?" she slyly said..

A relieved Sissy welcomed the intrusion...

"Ohhh no...It's alright Chica...What's up?" she said...

"Reese Younger!! Somebody tasered him to death in his hot tub in the early hours of the morning." said Carlotta.

"The football player who wrote that book-"The Joy of Sex in the New Millenium"???" asked Sissy.

"The same."said Carlotta..

"Ohhh nooo..He was such a nice looking man..." said Sissy...

"Boyyy was he...Such a waste." said Carlotta....

All of the gushing over Reese Younger made Lt. Cantrell slowly get up and ease out of the office....

Jimmy, Hop and I all looked at him as he angrily stomped his foot and walked down the hall...

After he was gone...Not only were we laughing, but some of the uniformed policemen who knew what was going on started laughing too...

Sissy walked out of the office and looked around...When she saw no sign of him, She laughed and high fived Carlotta....

"You are my girl...My favorite detective!!..." she said....Then looked at Jimmy and Hop..."THIS WEEK FELLAS!" she said...

Carlotta stuck her tongue out at them...We all busted out in laughter....


"I don't know what I'm going to do about him....He's becoming impossible..."said Sissy....

I just smiled and shook my head...

"I'll see you guys later...Keep me up to speed on this case." I said...

"No smart remarks counselor?" asked Sissy...

"Nah...not today." I said.

"You alright?" asked Sissy..

"Yeah...I'm good." I said as I exited down the hallway...

Carlotta followed me down the hallway....

"Are you sure you're okay Keith?" she asked...

"Yeah...I perfectly understand how Lt. Cantrell feels...Look at me..I'm no better...I'm only over here because I want to see you.." I said.

She smiled...

"There is a difference...You know?" she said and she kissed me passionately for a few minutes..

"What's that?" I asked.

"I want to see you too!...Boss Lady doesn't want to see Cantrell.."said Carlotta.
"Well...that's always good to know.." I said.

"I may stop by your office for lunch today." she said.

"Cool, where do you want to go?" I asked.

"I wasn't coming by to eat ,papi." she said and winked...

Loved that woman!

(To Be Continued...)




2 comments:

George S. said...

Interesting....Seems like Carlotta or Jimmy or even Hop could have investigated this murder by themselves...Seems routine enough..But I'll see where you're going with this.

Tate 2 said...

Love these guys...Their interactions with each other...This is like your soap opera...Love the back and forth between Sissy and Eddie Cantrell..Wondering when they are actually going to get back and forth...I know it's coming.