Sunday, August 29, 2010

"Consenting Adults"

Chance Howard and I had just walked out of court with our client Floyd Waterhouse...He was a city councilman who had been accused of sexually harrassing three of his former staff members who worked for him...We had managed to get a hung jury, thus forcing the judge to declare a mistrial.....

"Wow Mr.Foxworth...You know, under the circumstances we were lucky to even get this...I think the jury was leaning toward siding with those women." said Chance.

"You're telling me...and considering the circumstances, they probably are right." I found myself saying.

"So you think he's guilty?" asked Chance.

"Oh yeah..He's as guilty as hell." I said.

"He told you that?" asked Chance.

"No...of course not...but I've known him for years...He's the biggest hound you ever wanted to meet...Never saw a skirt that he didn't feel worthy of chasing....He even tried to get fresh with the judge...I had to caution him...He's a bigger lech that I am." I said with a laugh.

"When do you think we'll be back in court with him?" asked Chance.

"Probably a month or two...I wouldn't worry....Maybe he'll take my advice and settle out of court...That would be best for everyone." I said.

"Yeah, Mr. Foxworth, you're probably right." said Chance.

"Say youngin...what you got planned for tonight...Wanna go over to Josies and get a few drinks?" I said.

"Normally I would...but I haven't been spending a lot of time with Anita...She's off tonight, so we are gonna just chill at her spot.." said Chance.

"Oh okay...Well I'll drop you off at your car...I'm heading over to Josie's." I said.

I called Kevin, but he and his wife Sepia were on their way to the movies... Next I called Clerow,but he and Corrie were in Atlantic City...I put in another call to Sean Jackson...but he too was chilling with his girl Sheila. I called Bonita....No answer! That was strange!!!! , I called Conrad, but he and his wife were in Delaware at Rehobeth beach. Finally ,I drove to Josie's alone and saddled up to the bar.

"Ridin solo tonight counselor?" said Gus.

''Yeah, everybody is chillin with their woman." I said.

"Well,all the women you got, I'm surprised you're in here alone." said Gus.

"I didn't get an answer at Bonita's...Brooke is on the road and I think Ingrid is on the road too." I said.

"Ingrid Rhodes? The singer?? Nah...She was in here last night and she and her band did a set here last Friday night..." said Gus.

"Really?? I haven't seen her in weeks..She's been home all along and hadn't called me?" I said.

"Maybe YOU've been occupied." said Gus.

"I was over Bonita's a lot...but I wasn't that occupied.." I said.

''Speaking of the devil , there she is....and look who she's with? I thought they broke up awhile ago?" said Gus.

She was with the baseball player, Johnny Diamond..They had been an item and then had had a bad break up and then she had been with the Trumpet player Downtown Rob Brown and he had messed up and I had slipped in....What was different now?

I watched them sitting at a booth quietly talking....I couldn't just walk over there...but then again, why couldn't I? I had been screwing her lately, not him?? Or was he?? I stared at them and I noticed that she stared back.....and had the nerve to wave...I smiled and waved back.
The night dragged on and I continued to drink and drink and drink.....Finnally when I was on my way to the men's room, I happened to bump into her..coming from the bar with a drink...Johnny Diamond was on his Blackberry , seemingly a world away from us, talking to somebody.

"So Ingrid? What's going on? I haven't heard from you in weeks and come to find out you've been here all along." I said.

"Yes and?" she said.

"Well, what's up with that?" I asked.

"Why do you ask? It's not like we are exclusive Robert...I thought we were just 'Friends with Benefits'." she said. "You know lightweight..nothing heavy"

I hated when women used my own terms against me.

"Well uh ruh no....I wouldn't call us that." I said.

"Well what would you call us?" she asked.

"Aww come on Ingrid..we've been going out for awhile now and er..." I mumbled..

"Yeah and you've been sharing my bed....but then you've been going off for days, weeks sometimes and then what?" she said.

"Then what? I'm an attorney...I just finished a big case...The Floyd Waterhouse case..It's been in all the papers....and I helped Kevin Morris crack that big fraud case recently..You know how I roll, I'm as busy as you with your music." I said.

''Robert...Roberttttt ,stop playing......I know all about Bonita...She sells real estate...She lives in New Jersey...and I know about the Funeral Director who gives you "greif counseling"..Is that what you call it? I know about Guitarist ,Brooke Taylor too...Your bed hasn't been empty....I mean ,I can see're very good at what you do to a woman...I wish more men were as in tune to a woman's body as you're quite gifted." she said.

"Did you hire a private detective to spy on me?" I asked.

"Nope...Didn't think I had to...Somebody made sure I knew about you..That's all." she said.

"Who? ,Who is going around telling my business?" I screamed.

"You shouldn't have so much "business" to be told..." she said.

"Well, we are not married.. we are both consenting adults." I said.

"That's right...and I'm not mad at can do what you like....I'm doing what I like...Right now Johnny and I are talking about getting back together...I'm liking what he's saying right now."she said.

"Well what about me? What about us?" I said.

"Awww come on Robert...Don't go you say, we are both consenting adults....operative word...consenting" she said and turned and walked away.

After I returned from the men's room, I dropped about sixty dollars on the counter!

"That's all for you tonight counselor?" said Gus.

"Yeah man...pretty much." I said as I left and got in my car. I was pretty hungry..but I didn't feel like any soul food, so I drove over to Bottom of the C. Seafood Bar and Grill. I hear that the chef over there, Ralph Scallion could really fix a nice salad...That's what I was in the mood for...but upon pulling up in the parking lot I saw a car seemingly bouncing up and down...I smiled....Somebody was gettin some in the parking lot...How many times had I done that?...That must have been what my car looked like....That car looked like the exact same make and model of Bonitas car...Same color too! They sure were steaming up the windows in that car....Yeah that used to me....but I wouldn't do that now....I've evolved from that..I'd take my woman to a room now.

"Ouuuuuuu...ohhhhhhhhh, take your hand from from under my skirt are soooo nasty...muah...ouuuuuuuu...I thought you wanted to talk about real estate..ouuuuuuuuu...ohhhhhhhhhh..." came a familiar voice.

"I do...I want to study your real estate baby....ohhhhhhhhhhhh, just one more kiss...and I swear,I'll go back to work...." said Ralph Scallion!!!

"Ohhhhh've got me all wet and turned on now...Look, I'm not doing anything tonight...Why don't you come over to my place and we'll uh discuss my real estate some more?" came the unmistakable voice of Bonita...!!!!

"Listen...I'm done for the night...let me go in and tell them that I'm leaving....I'll follow you in my car." said Ralph Scallion.

"Ohhh...ouuuuuuuu, muah....ohhhh Ralph....yes, please..." she said.

''Uhhh, don't you have a man? The Attorney?? I don't want to step on anybody's toes." said Ralph.

"Oh him? Yeah we see each other occassionally, but he's not my man...he does his thing and I'm going to do mine...After all , we are both consenting adults."she said.

"I like that.....Friends with benefits...consenting adults...hmmmmmmm." said Ralph.

I turned my car around and pulled out of the parking lot...I doubt if either of them was even aware of me. My name is Robert Foxworth...I'm an Attorney...This was NOT a good night.


Anonymous said...

Awww I feel a little sorry for Robert. poor thing.