Tumbling Dice

Ever get tired of waiting for the last shoe to drop?  I certainly was...So I called Cyrus Tickle and told him to meet me at Robert Foxworth's office to discuss what was in the safe deposit box..

Chance Howard and Cole sat with me...We drank coffee and discussed sports until Cyrus Tickle walked into the office...He was wearing a brand new Italian cut suit...New shoes and sporting a fresh haircut and shave...He was wearing a nice cologne and carrying a briefcase...He looked like a banker or politician..He was neither!

"Mr. Morris, I don't understand why you need attorneys...after all I am an attorney myself." he said.

Chance Howard and Cole looked at each other and smiled....a fact that was not lost on Cyrus Tickle.

Robert Foxworth walked into the office with my Uncle's Will...He said nothing...He looked at Mr. Tickle like he was dirt and sat across from him...

"Mr. Tickle...I didn't give Dice Lawson the security deposit key....Well I did recently, but not before I had already been to my Uncle's safe deposit box....What he found whenever he got there and used that key was not what he thought he was looking for." I said.

Cyrus Tickle laughed....

"Ohhh you are the clever one Mr. Morris...I figured you were out manuvering Dice ." he said.

"I had Patrice Johnson arrested, but she made bail." I continued..

"Yes...the justice system today needs major over-hauling....but from what I read in the papers ...Ms. Johnson had a most unfortunate accident." he said.

"Which brings me to you Cyrus.....My Uncle did in fact leave a will...a legal will that was drawn up and notarized..." I said..

"Oh really?" he said, now very surprised.

"Yes...That is what was in the safe deposit box." I said.

Robert passed it to him for him to read and look at...He read it...both sides of it.

"So you see....My wife and I gave one million of it to the church of his choice as he specified and we split the rest...It's in our accounts as he also specified." I said.

His eyes got as large as saucers....

"So what does that leave for me?" He asked.

Robert Foxworth was incredulous.....I only smiled wryly...

"Not a damn thing!" I said.

The room got quiet...Chance Howard and Cole got up and left the room to keep from laughing in his face...

"Wh-Wh-What do you mean?? What do you mean??  We had a deal..." he said.

"I never verbally or in writing took you on as a client...I just told you I'd keep in touch...Which I did." I said.

"Oh naw...naw...nahhhhhhh, this is fraudulent...I'll have to take legal action against you." he said.

"Legal action?..Legal Action?? First of all, you are not an attorney...You misrepresented yourself to my client....He did not take you on as a client and once a judge sees the actual will, you won't have a leg to stand on." said Robert Foxworth.

"You can't do this....I -I-I need that money....I had plans...Y-Y-You can't do this.." he said.

"It's already done Mr. Tickle...That money was put in our accounts and the church accounts weeks ago..It's over..."I said.

"It was Otis Teller wasn't it?? He put all these ideas in your head, didn't he? I saw him hanging around at the funeral...." he screamed...

"No...He merely sent me a copy of the will...A copy I already had....Mr. Teller didn't steer me in any way...You saw the will...My Uncle designated where he wanted his money to go...So neither you, the late Ms. Johnson or Dice Lawson has any claim to that money. I'm sorry Tickle...but you'll have to find another willing sucker....I'm sure for you ,that won't be a problem." I said.

"You can't do this....I -I-I need that money....I had plans...Y-Y-You can't do this..We had a deal...I don't like this...I don't like this at all..You crossed me up..I was your uncles friend..He told me that he wanted me to have some of that money....We talked about it..." he said and stomped his foot...

"Well you aren't mentioned at all in his will." I said.

"No...No you can't do this...You can't do this...This is unacceptable....I'm not leaving here until this is straightened out....I am due some of that money....I'm due...I'm due." he prattled on..

"Mr. Tickle!" said Robert Foxworth..

"You can't do this....I -I-I need that money....I had plans...Y-Y-You can't do this..We had a deal...I don't like this...I don't like this at all..You crossed me up..I was your uncles friend..He told me that he wanted me to have some of that money....We talked about it..." he said and stomped his foot...

"Mr. Tickle!!!" said Robert again...

"You can't do this...You can't do this...This is unacceptable....I'm not leaving here until this is straightened out....I am due some of that money....I'm due...I'm due." he prattled on..

"MISTER TICKLE!!!! IT IS OVER." said Robert.

"The Hell it is....I want my money!!!...Now I'm owed that money....You can't do me like this...Now come on now...Come on." said Cyrus Tickle, now visibly upset.

"Security!" said Robert Foxworth...

Two beefy security guards escorted Cyrus Tickle out of Robert's office.... Robert looked at me and sighed..

"No...No you can't do this...You can't do this...This is unacceptable....I'm not leaving here until this is straightened out....I am due some of that money....I'm due...I'm due.Let me go...Let me go..." he prattled on as they practically dragged him down the hall.

"You think that's the end of him?" said Robert, shaking his head.

"I hope so....He's the least of my worries....It's that mad dog, Dice Lawson that I'm worried about...Hopefully the police will have caught up with him for the murder of Patrice Johnson.."I said.

"Then you're home free right?" asked Robert.

"Yeah...I hope so." I said.

II-

I didn't feel good about Tickle mentioning Mr. Teller's name like that...I thought that maybe I ought to stop by the old man's garage to give him a heads up that Tickle might be sniffing around him...So I got the Thunderbird and drove to Otis Teller's garage...

He was working on another vintage car when I arrived....My good friend, Ralph Scallion, the chef at Dollar Bill's joint..Bottom of The C was also there...Like me, he loved classic cars...

''Hey Kev..what's up? That your car?"said Ralph.

"Yupper...My Uncle left it to me in his will." I said.

"That aint all he left you...Heh heh heh...How you doin young fella?" said Otis Teller..

"I'm good...How are you?" I asked.

''Ohhh I can't complain."he said...

Just then, I heard the click of a gun.....

"He'll be better as soon as I get my hands on that dough." came the familiar voice of Dice Lawson...

He had his gun on Ralph Scallion and Otis Teller who had their hands up.... I went to go for my gun, but his clicked his ...

"Ugh..Ugh..Ugh...don't think about it....take that heater out and toss it over here." he said...."Do it now!" he barked..

I reluctantly tossed my gun over to him...

"H-Hey man, what's this about?" said Ralph Scallion...

"You're makin a big mistake sonny." said Otis Teller.

"Nah...I don't think so.....Now I'm gonna take all three of you in my car and you Mr. Kevin Morris are gonna go to your bank and withdraw a cool one million clams or else...You all are going to find yourself very dead." he said.

"You're going to kill us anyway...No loose ends...I know how you roll Dice." I said.

"Awww you spoiled it....Nobody makes a fool outta me two times and lives to talk about it." he said.

"Let Ralph and Mr. Teller go...They don't have anything to do with this." I said.

"See,I would...but they done seen my face...Sorry...You shoulda just let me have that key when I took it off sugar britches in the funeral parlor...You'd still have a future." he said with an icy cold stare.

"You killed her didn't you?" I said.

''Who?" he asked.

"Patrice Johnson...You killed her after she made bail." I said.

"Nah....I don't waste my time on small fry like her...I read in the papers that someone put a hot one between her eyes...but it wasn't me." he said.

"You killed her and Thelma Neely after you had her bail Patrice out of jail." I continued.

"You're off your nut...Why would I spend money to get that trick outta jail? She was already out of my way.....and I don't know no Thelma what's her name...You're out of your mind...I didn't kill nobody.....YET! " he snarled.

Suddenly, from the corner of my eye, I saw a .45 trained at Dice's head and heard the loudest explosion from afar!.....Blood and brain matter flew out of Dice Lawson's head and he fell to the ground...as dead as a doorknob!.....

When the smoke cleared...Cyrus Tickle stood there, holding a .45, smiling....

Of course, why hadn't I  figured all this out before?? I thought....

"And so we come to the final chapter huh?" I said.

"That's right Mr. Morris....I came here to kill Otis Teller...and who do I find here but you and Dice Lawson..Which makes it easier..I don't have to track none of you down." he said.

"You killed Patrice Johnson and Thelma Neely didn't you?" I said.

"Yes I did...  Thelma Neely was collateral damage...Nice girl, very good in bed, lawddd jesus that girl was somethin else..I'll miss her , but she  knew too much. I was going to kill Dice Lawson eventually.....There was no way we could have split this money up with Patrice Johnson and him still around...See I was helping you out." he said.

''Gee Thanks" I said sarcastically.

"Now, you're going to take me to your bank and your wife's bank and withdraw all of that money, two million dollars and hand it over to me...I'm through playing games...I need that money...I need it. OKay, all of you guys ,over to my car.." he said.

"I aint goin nowhere with you, ya chisler." said Otis Teller.

"Don't make me kill you sooner than I was gonna ,you jealous old coot..." said Cyrus Tickle..

"Jealous old coot...Who you callin an old coot ? Jealous of what?? Who??...You?? You aint never had an honest two nickels to press together in your life." said Otis Teller.

"And you did?? You, you, you overblown grease monkey!"screamed Cyrus Tickle..

"Why I'll...." said Otis Teller...

"You'll what? You'll get your head blown off right now....." said Cyrus Tickle.

In all the confusion...I had managed to get my .22 out of my ankle holster and slip it in my side jacket pocket...I waited for him to slightly draw his attention away to open the door of his car and I fired, hitting him in his shoulder and causing him to drop his gun and then I fired again , hitting him in his side...He spun around like a top!

''AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....I don't believe it...I've been shotttt..I've been shot...arghhhhhhhhhhhh! lawddddddd...argggghhhhhhhh,I've been shottt.." he howled as he fell to the the ground...I picked up his glock and stood over him....

"Like I told you earlier today...It's all over." I said.

"You can't do this....I -I-I need that money....I had plans...Y-Y-You can't do this.. That was my money...I was entitled to it....aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lawdddd, it hurts...agghhhhhhhh." he moaned as his blood and Dice's blood began to make the floor of the garage , a crimson red.

Otis Teller looked at me and smiled....

"I figured you might carry another peice on you or I could make enough of a fuss to give you some time to pick up one of the guns on the floor." he said.

Ralph and I smiled....

"I imagine you and my Uncle were quite a pair back in the day." I said.

"That we were....That we were." said Otis Teller, smiling.

III-

The police wheeled out the lifeless body of Dice Lawson and an ambulance came to pick up Cyrus Tickle, still muttering about how he was entitled to my uncle's money...

"I was entitled to that money...I had plans....I had plans....we had a deal Mr. Morris...we had a deal....I needed that money....arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.." he continued to mutter as they closed the door of the ambulance and it pulled off into the afternoon.

Sissy looked at him,lying on the gurney and just shook her head....

"Wow Kevin, this was quite a caper you were involved in ....you cleared up a double  murder for us, got rid of a rat we've been wanting to take off of the streets for awhile, Dice Lawson and bagged us a killer...Mr. Cyrus Tickle." said Lt. Sissy Van Buren.

"Mr. Tickle...That sounds funny, like something sexual." laughed Detective Carlotta Rodriguez... Sissy laughed and put her hand over her mouth.

"You know, My wife says that same thing...." I laughed... "Hey ladies listen...If Eddie and Keith don't mind...I'm taking you both out to lunch next week...your choice....All on me." I continued..

''Okayyyyyy...I like that." said Sissy...

''Koooooooooooool." said Carlotta..

"Chica, we gotta go shopping, get new outfits for the occassion." said Sissy..

''When is your next day off?" laughed Carlotta.

''Saturday"said Sissy.

''Good,let's hook up around noon and hit the mall."said Carlotta.

''Sounds like a plan Chica." said Sissy.

I just laughed at the two of them..

"Well young fella, I guess it's clear sailing for you from here eh?" said Otis Teller..

"Yes sir...and for you too.." I said.

"Yup....Poor Tickle...His greed got the best of him..." said Otis Teller..

"Greed got the best of all three of em." I said.

I looked over at Ralph Scallion....

''Hey Ralph...I'll race ya." I joked...

"Nah Kev...After tonight...I'm drivin slow, reallll slow." he said and laughed...and I laughed too!

EPLIOUGE:

Cyrus Tickle was convicted of three counts of first degree murder and sentenced to death by lethal injection..

Sepia and I sat in our living room ,once again chilling...

"Wow lover, this has been some doozy of a case huh?" she said.

"Yeah...I'm just glad those three meddlesome people are gone from our lives....and for a long while ,I just want to go to work,  and come home to you....No more cases or capers for awhile." I said.

''Ohhh you don't mean that." she said.

I was quiet for a long while....The thought of a normal quiet life was appealing...for a minute...I think she was reading my mind...

She put her arms around me and said...

And see ,that's why I married you, that's why I stayed with you more than just a week....I knew from the day I met you that you were going to be an exciting man and that I'd never be bored.." she said.

"Neither in or out of bed." I said.

"That's right." she said and gave me a wet sloppy kiss.

"Okay, let's get you out of that dress and go upstairs ."I said slyly...

''You are soooo nasty." she said with a smile.