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Monday, April 25, 2016

Golden Panties

A Friday Night in Mid Spring Philadelphia...and I wasn't hanging out with my friends at Josies...I was actually working...I was at Mulberry Street, the tony rooftop bar and grill and jazz club...

Reed Nelson, Bone Hampton, 88 and a few others who usually play at Josie were playing this event...

An event dubbed..."Ms. Panties, 2016" a Lingerie modeling extravaganza...I had never heard of this until a few days ago when I was contacted by a man named Dag Fabersham...A tall, well dressed ,slender man who seemed a bit effeminate...

"Mister Kevin aside from your communications and media company..I understand that this is really a front..You're actually a Private Investigator.." he said.

"No sir..It is not a front..this is a legitimate company...I also run a Private Investigation firm, but this is not a front..."I told him..

''Well,I represent a company that designs and manufactures the latest in women's lingerie and undergarments...We uh sell to Victoria's Secret and other Lingerie stores..Your friend Bridget Jones does a lot of business with my company." he said.

"Okay...what has this got to do with me?" I asked.

"I would like to hire you Mr. Kevin." he said.

"Hire me for what?" I asked..

"Look...my company has a lot of clients....Somebody has hacked into at least three of my clients accounts and lifted a lot of cash....I've kept this on the down low..but if it gets out it could be very bad for my brand and my business...Your job is to find out who this person is and to eliminate the problem.."he said and handed me an envelope with 100K in it...

I smiled.

"I haven't even done the work yet.."I said...

"Oh you come with high references...I've heard of a lot of the work you've done for others...Word in some circles are, you're the guy to go to when the cops and the feds can't help you." he said.


I smiled...

"I have a feeling there is more..."I said.

"Yes..Golden Panties..." he said and smiled.

"Huh? What?" I asked.

"I have reason to believe the man who has hacked into our corporate accounts will be at my gala this Friday Night at the Mulberry Street Jazz Supper club...You've heard of it. "Ms. Panties 2016" He said.

I laughed...

"What? You have gotta be kidding!"

" It's a beauty contest and a chance to show off my latest projects in women's underwear...I have a pair of Golden Panties and a Bra, insured for over one million dollars...I believe that this man will try to steal them and when he does...That's when you and your people grab him..." he said smiling with a child like excitement...

"How does this person you speak of know about these uh Golden Panties?"I asked..

"Oh I've publicized it well in all of the fashion and business circles...as a way to lure him into a trap....He's trying to get information on my company and my clients and I figure He can't resist a juicy offer like that." he laughed..

I thought this man was off his nut...but for the down payment he had given me..How could I refuse?

"Okay...Me and my guys will be on it.."I said.

II- 24 Hours Before-
It wasn't a hard sell...when I told my operatives about it...They jumped at the chance to attend this thing..Work or not..

It appears they knew about this Ms. Panties beauty pageant..

"Yeah Kev..where you been? They have it every year."said Owen Todd.

"Last year it was in Atlantic City....I'm so glad it's here this year..Don't tell my wife that that is where we are workin..."said Sean Jackson..

"Yeah Boss...Same here...Aint no need in takin sand to the beach."said Clerow ,who high fived Lockpick
Johnson...

"Man after some of the rat holes you've taken me in...I deserve to be at this ."said Kool Kat...


I just shook my head...

Peeping Tom and his guys, four ex-CIA operatives and one ex-KGB operative were working on the three files that were hacked....

"Kev...Whoever this guy is...He's good...He hacked into their accounts and could have looted them..could have emptied their accounts out, but he chose not to just yet...I don't get it." said Peeping Tom...


"Me neither ...So what do we do?" I asked.

"We've  encrypted those accounts, so that whoever this is can no longer access them and we sent a remote access tracker through the system to try and track whoever this is...We broke through about 20 fail safes that this person has and then we totally nuked his system...Wiped him out...He'll have to start from scratch to get at these files...Unfortunately..Whoever this is ,is so well protected that we couldn't trace him..." said Tom..

"He used several different IP addresses ...we traced them all...and whoever was long gone from these places and they bleached the places down." said one of the operatives.

"Good work anyway..."I said smiling..."How bout Mulberry Street?" I asked.

"All done..We got it wired for sound and video...Lockpick got us in yesterday....and we'll have our van parked down the street..."said another operative..

.

"We got it made up like a catering van."said Lockpick Johnson...


"Great...We're good." I said.

III-
Which brings us to tonight...Clerow and Owen Todd and Lockpick Johnson were disguised as waiters, serving food and drinks and on the lookout for our mysterious thief...

None of them had told their significant other about where they were going to be tonight...Unfortunately...I had told mine...and Sepia insisted on coming!!

Sepia insisted on being present...She looked good in a tight black evening gown....I couldn't take my eyes off of her...I think she planned it this way, considering where we would be going..

"Ouuuuuu, your friends better be glad I aint the talking type...Shame on Clerow ,not telling Corrie and Walter not telling Chelsea about this. Not to mention Sean not telling Sheila." she laughed..

''We are working babes...We are trying to catch a thief...a guy who hacked into three very wealthy clients accounts and almost looted those accounts..."I said.

Sepia gave me the side eye...

"Work huh? Ms.Panties ? Come on Kevin... This isn't really work for none of yall."she said.

''You know about this uh ruh pageant?"I asked ,giving her the side eye...

"You know I do...You used to read my blog...back before we actually met...I won Ms. Panties 2008, when they had it in Jersey City, New Jersey." she said..

''Yesssss...Now I remember , you uh had a photo of you in the uhhh winning pair...I remember....I uh commented..."I said, remembering those days when I used to drool over the photos of her on her blog....Never knowing I was going to meet her one day and marry her and have a child with her..

''Yes you did...Stalker!" she laughed and playfully punched my arm..

While we were talking...Kool Kat was laughing and grinning with a plus size model in the back hallway...

''Oh Mister Jones ,do you really think I have the right stuff to win this contest?" she giggled..

Kool Kat was all  teeth, just laughing...

"Girl...You've already won MY contest...Damn this contest here.."he said laughing...

"Oh Mister Jones...I could just kiss you..." she giggled...

"Well hell..I wouldn't mind if you did darlin."laughed Kool Kat...

Meanwhile Clerow,Owen Todd ,Sean Jackson and Lockpick Johnson were ogling another pretty model in another part of the party..

"Lawdddddddddddd today!" they all said in unison...

She saw and heard them and just laughed...

The band was really cooking and hot platters of Southern Fried Chicken, Fried Fish, Collard Greens, Potata Salad and Candied Yams were being passed to the guests as well as bottles of Champaigne, Domestic Beers and Wines...

I kissed Sepia on the cheek..

"Well former Ms. Panties...I have to go to work.....I look forward to relieving you of that dress you have on later..."I said.

"Ummmmmm that's all you plan on relieving me of..?Not my panties too? " she laughed seductively...

"But of course.." I said.

"Of course!" she said and laughed...

I smiled...I spoke into my mike...

"Alright Sean,Clerow,Owen,Lock and Kools..look alive...Our guy is in here somewhere.." I said.

I covered the bar....

Clerow and Owen Todd covered the floor...mingling with the crowd....

Sean Jackson slyly took photos... and Lockpick Johnson sipped a Pina Colada and made small talk with the Mistress of ceremonies..


With the high survelience we had in here ,There was no way our guy,if he was even here could get away with any thievery!

Dag Fabersham walked over to me...

"Kevin...You have already done more than I thought possible...My associate told me that you and your people blocked our guy from looting those accounts and that he hadn't stolen any money from them yet.." he said.

"Yes...That bothers me...Why didn't he loot their accounts yet?  He very well could have before you hired me..Doesn't make any sense..."I said.

"I'm thinking he was holding off..Maybe he owes money to somebody and was waiting for the right time..I don't know." he said.

''Well at any rate..He'll have to start from scratch and he won't be able to hit those clients again...I'll need your complete clients list ,so my guys can take care of all of their accounts..."I said.

Dag Fabersham smiled.."It's as good as done...My...You work with some very astute people Mr. Kevin..."he said.

"I have people stationed around here looking for this thief..."I said.

"Good...He can't get those panties..those are the cream of my crop!"he said.

"Tell me...Is anybody rich enough to buy them?" I asked..

"Well....I'm sure somebody like Rollie Rollerson or Stephen Bristol maybe could...but not the average working guy..."He said.

While we talked...A Handsome, well dressed Black man saw my wife sitting alone at her table and sat down with her...

"Hello!" she said.

He smiled..

"Hello...You look too lovely to be sitting here alone tonight."he said.

Sepia smiled-

"Thank you, but I'm not alone, My husband is somewhere around here."she said and flashed her wedding ring...

His eyes got wide..

"Ohhhhhhhh you're married?..."he said.

"Uh Huh...and I'm a mother too...My daughter is almost one years old.."she said.

"YOU HAVE A CHILD? YOU??  Wowwww, you look like you could compete in this contest and win." he said.

"I did compete in this...I won it in 2008...a year before I met my husband.." said Sepia..

''Wowww, does your uh husband know that you uh took part in this?" he asked.

"Yes he knows...That's was part of the reason he was attracted to me.." she laughed..

"I know that's right....I don't blame him...Uh Where is your husband..?" he asked.

"He's around here somewhere...He's working." she said.

"Well uh...Waiter!!  Give the pretty young lady a refill ." he said.

"Thank you."said Sepia.

He tossed the waiter a few dollars...

"What is your name pretty lady?" he asked..

"I'm Sepia...I'm a realtor..I sell houses.."she said.

"Oh? Who are you with?" he asked.

"I'm the co-owner of my own company...You want my business card?" she asked.

"Nah...I don't hang around too long in one place...The name is Robinson, Christopher Robinson...I'm into commodities...I'm a commodities broker..."he said and stood up.."It was certainly nice meeting you Mrs. Sepia."he said and kissed her hand...

I scanned the area....

Then I got a call...

"Kev...look alive...I just saw a suspicious guy...well dressed, Black guy, about your height and build ..On the move."said Sean Jackson...

Owen Todd called next...

"Kevin your phone...I'm calling you...I got him on the phone..He's heading for the exit..."he said.

"Alright..Clerow,Owen, Sean,Lockpick  let's go.." I said..

We quietly slipped through the crowd...

The man,.A Handsome, well dressed Black man , took his suit jacket off and tossed it in the trash can...He put on fake contacts and took off a hair piece revealing himself to be bald and he put on a Phillies Baseball cap...

He walked briskly down a flight of stairs...He saw us....

''We are blown guys..go after him full force.." I said.

We chased him down the several flights of stairs...He passed off the box he was carrying to another Handsome, well dressed Black man, who got in a car and pulled off..


We chased him down the street, just as he rounded the corner ,he ran into the hard fist of Kool Kat ,who cold cocked him and knocked him out!

Kool Kat stood over him...

I was nearly out of breath as I ran up to him...I pulled him up to his feet....

''Alright ,hand over those panties!" I said.

He smiled..

"What? You got the wrong gender pal...I wear briefs..."he said..

"You think this is funny?" asked Kool Kat...

"Who are you guys? Cops?" he asked.

"I saw you pass a box to another guy who pulled off in a car."I said.

''Yeah?...No crime in that.." he said.

"You took your suit jacket off and tossed it in the trash can"said Sean Jackson...

"Yeah and you took off your toupee' "said Owen Todd...

"Anddd you got on contact lenses boss man."said Clerow..

He shrugged his shoulders...

"I uh still don't see where any of that is your concern...I was tryin to pick up chicks...Having failed in that, I left and shed my uh suit jacket and hair piece...You gonna arrest me for that?" he said.

"We're not cops.."I said.

"Oh, then, this conversation is over."he said.

"Where are the Golden Panties?" I asked.

"Mannnn,I don't know what you're talking about.."he said. "Can I go?" he asked.

"Yeah, get out of here.."I said..

He smiled and walked a few blocks down the street..

"That's it...You lettin him go?" asked Kool Kat....

"We can't hold him...We didn't see him steal anything...For all we know the Golden Panties are still in that wall safe.." I said..

Just then Dag Fabersham ran outside...

"Kevin someone blew the safe...they got the Golden Panties..They got my million dollar panties! Oh Lawd!" he said.

"We got that place wired...We'll see who it was...."I said.

"There is a problem..."said Dag Fabersham.

"What problem?" I asked.

''Security said that somebody disabled the security cameras about two hours ago.."he said.

"Yours...but not ours...We got him...or whoever...and we got DNA...We stopped a guy tonight who shed his suit jacket, and  his hair piece in the trash...If he's working with our thief...We got him too."I said.

"I've got a surprise for our thief too...I suspected that he might get by you guys ,so I had a tracking device placed in the bra...We can track whoever.."said Dag Fabersham.

"Great..we'll get on it." I said.

"Is this it?" said Sepia, picking up a small transistor....

"Aww nuts...He knew....He discarded it..Probably when he  was leaving the building."said Faversham.
My wife Sepia walked down the street towards us...

"You guys are going to miss it...They're about to crown Ms. Panties 2016..." she said.

Before she could get the words out of her mouth, Kool Kat, Lockpick Johnson, Clerow,Owen Todd and Sean Jackson raced back into the building....

 I shook my head....If it weren't for the sheer ridiculousness of this caper...I'd laugh...But I didn't like being played and I suspected that like most of my cases...This was deeper than it seemed..

(TO BE CONTINUED)



14 comments:

Sunflower said...

When I saw the title I said Oh My God..I have to admit...The story was not at all what I expected.!

Toni said...

This looks like it's going to be quite the fun ride!

Angie B. said...

Oh Boy..That title was oft putting...I thought wall to wall sex..But actually..There was no sex in this story....but it does look fun.

Cheryl said...

Oh Boy..That title was oft putting...I thought wall to wall sex..But actually..There was no sex in this story....but it does look fun.

Halo said...

This looks like it's going to be so much fun.

Lisa said...

This is going to be soo much fun and sooo good!

Vanessa said...

The title knocked me for a loop...Loved it, Loved it, Loved it!

Rita said...

I just knew there was going to be wall to wall boot knocking in this...You surprised me..!

Brenda said...

"Ms. Panties " Keith? "Ms. Panties??"LMAO at the title of this "Beauty Pageant!"Looks like an interesting storyline...But then,most of your storylines are!

George S. said...

Kevin up against a super smart Hacker/Thief...I find that very interesting...(as well as the title and what was stolen.)

Grover Tha Playboy said...

I laughed until I cried when reading parts of this...but I realize that Kevin is up against a grifter who is very intelligent and who for the moment has gotten the best of him...Very interesting...

Kool Kat's dialouge with the plus size model had me rolling..

The whole premise of a beauty pageant called "Ms. Panties 2016" is hillarious.

James Perkins said...

I laughed until I cried when I saw the title...and said uh oh! However the story was not like I thought it would be...Very intruiging story....

Jazzy said...

Haven't been reading blogs for a long time now...I was in the hospital recently and I binge read all of your blogs...I see you're still at it...Good to know!

Anonymous said...

I was ready to throw my panties...but this story was not what I expected!