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Monday, December 12, 2016

Lingerie Confidential

''So what do you think?" asked Josie Boyd, our Office Manager....She had bought and decorated the Christmas Tree that was in our office herself..
"I got it from the shopping center....It was a steal...They were going fast..." she said.

I looked at the tree and smiled..

"Looks fine to me..." I said..and poured myself a tumbler of Egg Nog..

I'm Donnie Ray Alexander, Investigator for Alexander and West ,Attorneys at Law...My wife and her niece's law firm..I'm a former Homicide Detective from New Orleans who moved to Philadelphia to marry and work for the love of my life, Olivia Bennett-Alexander...


My wife, Attorney Olivia Bennett-Alexander was just coming in....

"Hey guys...Ouuuu Josie..you bought that tree? It's gorgeous!  Bev and I would have helped you..." she said.

"That's okay Liv...I like decorating the tree...It puts me in the mood...Reminds me of happier times." said Josie..


"I'm so glad you and Paris are coming with us to New Orleans the week of Christmas.."gushed Olivia, who walked over and kissed me..

"Ummmmmm hi honey bunny.." she said..
"Well Hellllooooooooooooooo.." I said.. "Have some Egg Nog." I said.


"No thanks....I bought wine...And You have to taste this wine...It's delicious..."said Olivia.

"Delicious is not usually the descriptor I think of when I think of wine...More of a description I think of when describing you...but I'll take your word for it...Hey you and Shortcake went Christmas shopping...Where are the gifts?" I asked.


"In the garage...AND DON'T GO IN THERE TRYING TO PEEK EITHER!.. We got things for you, your sister and her kids, your brother in law and your dad...and you too Josie...We'll open them in New Orleans."said Olivia..

"Awwww thanks Liv...Where is Bev? Over Nelson's?" asked Josie..


"No...She and Nelson are uh outside....We ran into him in the shopping mall.." said Olivia with a wry smile..

Beverly and Nelson were standing outside kissing passionately....

"Ummmmmmmmmmmm baby,You couldn't wait could you?" asked Beverly...as she and Nelson kissed passionately...

"No..I couldn't." said Nelson...

"We need to go inside before we are missed...Or I am anyway." said Beverly...

Nelson laughed...

"Yeah, you're right..." he said.

"You are going to New Orleans with us the week of Christmas aren't you?" she asked..

''Are you kidding? Of course I am...You know it's getting where I can't stand to be without you.." said Nelson...

''Awwwwwwwwwwwwww...Are you just trying to get another kiss?" cooed Beverly...

"Yessss." giggled Nelson as they began kissing again..

"Ummmmm.."

"Oh my god girllllllll."he moaned....


Olivia looked  out the window at Beverly and Nelson and smiled..

"True Love conquers all..." she said and laughed..

Christmas was two to three weeks away and we were already in the spirit...We were all planning to go to New Orleans for the Holidays...My sister had room for Me and Liv and Beverly and Nelson...Josie and Paris were planning to stay at a Hotel ,not too far from us in Monroe.. So was Kayla and her boyfriend, Ray...

Olivia wanted them all there to celebrate our second wedding anniversary..
We had been fortunate that since we'd returned from San-Francisco we hadn't had any heavy cases...Just routine stuff...That was all about to come to an end...

II-
Bridget Jones, The pretty business woman who owned two lingerie stores....Lady Chatterlies Lover, Panties and Bras for the Discriminating Woman and a smaller outlet store called Simply Underwear.
Both of her stores were in Chris and Chess's shopping centers and the original flagship stores were on the other side of town...

Bridget was everybody's friend...Every guy I knew...Had a wife or girlfriend that shopped at Bridget's two stores...My wife was a personal friend of Bridget's...

Bridget happened upon Beverly and Nelson kissing passionately outside our office...


''Yall two need to get a room." she said.
Beverly smiled sheepishly...

"Oh. Hi Bridget...." she said.

"Hey Bridget." said Nelson shyly...

"Hey Nelson...your package came in last week..." said Bridget...

Nelson blushed...

"Uh Okay...I'll stop by to pick it up." he said.

Beverly smiled at him..

"You bought me more panties Nelson?  I'm going to have to buy another chest of drawers...to hold all of the ones you've already brought me.." she said..

''Sorry, but you would look soo sexy in these..I bought some bras too..You know I know your size?" he said.
"Yes.. I know you know it...You always say that..." she laughed..

"Girl, why you complaining?  Be glad you have a man who is that turned on by you....Your Auntie in? I need to see her about a legal matter...You too if uh I can uh disturb you for a few minutes." laughed Bridget ,who was enjoying ribbing Beverly...

"Ouuu you got jokes girlie...Come on..We were on our way inside anyhow..Come on Nelson..."said Beverly ,laughing..
''Didn't look like that to me. But that's none of my business" laughed Bridget..

III-

"Bridget girl!!!...How you doing? I've been meaning to come and see you...Want some Egg Nog?" asked Olivia..

"I'll pass on the Nog , but I will have a glass of wine.."she said.
She had spotted the bottle of wine on Olivia's desk...

"What's wrong with my Nog?" I laughed and poured her a glass of wine..

I knew that if  Bridget was here...It was business.....She didn't drop by to deliver us a package...I hadn't ordered anything for Olivia in awhile..
"So what brings you by Bridget?"asked Beverly...

Bridget opened her huge pocketbook and slung a matching bra and panty set on the desk..


Both Nelson and I stood in awe..

"Wowwwwwwwwwwww.."said Nelson..

"My My Myyyy..Thank you girl...Merry Christmas to you too!" I said.



Olivia and Beverly gave us both a side eye and then laughed...

"What is this?" asked Olivia..

"This was originally my design.....I have the sketch here, done by my designer...Roderick "Hot Rod" Tazzie..."she said and showed us the original design...

"Yessssssssssssss, that's some fine artwork." I said.

Olivia smiled..

"Oh Hush up smarty!.."she said and broke out into laughter......

"Look at the tag on the waistband..."said Bridget...

"It says Fannie's Panties.. You've got a new store Bridget?" asked Beverly...

"No...I don't..This is a competitor...Her store is near my original store..Her being Lucy Luckenbill..She used to work for me...I fired her..And she started her own business...Fannie's Panties...I didn't know it at first, but gradually, I began to see that all of my spring and summer designs were almost identical..Look at her catalog and then compare them to mine...." said Bridget..

"Hmmm,let me take a look at that....Yessssssssssssssssss....Ummmmmmm...Yessssssssssssssssssssssss......Hmmmmm...Oh myyyy, Yessssssssssssssssssssssssss....I seee....She uh ,She uh definitely copied you or somebody copied someone....And uh by the uh ruh dates here....It looks like her catalogs came out first..." I said.





Olivia, Beverly, Josie and Bridget all gave me the serious side eye and busted out laughing...


"Bridget can you prove that your designs were first?" I asked..Trying hard to be serious.

"I have Tazzie's Designs right here and they're dated...See?" she said.

"Do you trust him? I-I mean..Is there any chance that he might have given the designs to her?" asked Beverly...

"He's been with me since I started this business...He's my most trusted aide..He'd never sell me out..That would be like me asking Liv if she trusted Donnie Ray." said Bridget..


"But I'm sleeping with Donnie Ray..There is a difference...If you noticed...The guy is kind of in love with me.." joked Olivia..

Beverly stared at Bridget....

"Noooooooooooooo..Come on girl...Did you? ARE YOU??" she asked..

"NOOOOOOO!.....not anymore!  Yessssssssssssss..Tazzie and I..It..It ..It was years ago and it was only three or four times..I mean ,we never had a relationship...We were young, curious about each other.."said Bridget..


"Horny!" said Olivia...

Beverly cracked up laughing..
Nelson blushed something crazy....
Josie cracked up laughing...
 I spit my drink out  laughing and fell on the floor laughing....

''Wow Livy, you went right for the jugular....Yes..We were young and horny..We did it in a hotel in New York City during Fashion Week one year and then a year later ,we were both in Paris at the Spring Collection finale and after some wine and much weed..We wound up in a french hotel...for a weekend that's in a haze to me now..

And there was maybe two times here in my house...When I first got the business up and running and that was it...

No strings attached...No expectations...It was years ago.. We never spoke of it again...We never came near each other again like that....I've been involved with Calvin, Then Chazz and now Hoagie...He's seen them all...And we've never had a problem....We were at best ,friends with benefits for a short time.." said Bridget..

''So Bridget, what do you want from us? Do you want to sue Fannies Panties for copyright infringement?" asked Olivia..

"Auntay, that's going to be hard to prove ,All she has is sketches..."said Beverly....


"True but Tazzie is her employee and therefor ,his sketches are Bridget's property....Thing is...We would have to prove they were actually stolen.."said Olivia..

"Anyone else work with Tazzie?" I asked..

"Yes.. Brenda Montgomery....She's been with me since the beginning too.."said Bridget...

"Any chance her and Tazzie were uh, you know..?" asked Nelson...

''OhhhhhhhhhhhNooo..She's married and she's about 8 or 9 years older than Tazzie...I doubt that... People whisper that she has a crush on him..but he's not interested in her like that....And the only other person is our model..We have a young lady who models the merchandise...A Body model...Her name is Portia Evans.See, here is a photo.."said Bridget..


My eyes practically shot out of my head...

"MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WORDDDDDD!" I said...


"Down boy...." laughed Olivia....
"Liv..Here are my designs for the winter and next spring...I'm giving them to you in advance...I want to copyright them and I am going to keep close watch on the catalogs...If these mysteriously come out...then I plan to sue them...I want to hire you.."said Bridget ,laughing at me...


''Well of course we'll represent you Bridget.."said Olivia.
"I need to stop by her store and give it a look see and I'll look into Tazzie and Mrs. Montgomery...I know you trust them...but if these designs are getting out...It has to be coming from inside..It has to be...Shortcake...Feel like taking a visit to a couple of lingerie stores tomorrow?" I asked..

"Oh Myyy word..I am shocked and appalled at such a request."said Beverly in a fake southern voice...

"Bridget you've come over here and brought the silliness out in my staff..." laughed Olivia.
"In all seriousness...I suggest we lay a trap for our thieves...Float something else out there..."I said.

''What? The Winter and Spring lines for next year are already in play..."said Bridget..

"Christmas is coming...How about a Christmas themed Bra and Panty set?" I said.

"Yeah..I like that....I uh..Uh ruh..I-I mean, that uh sounds like a good idea." said Nelson..
Beverly laughed...

"Goofball...I bet you would like it...AND DON'T BUY IT...I don't have any room for anymore panties."said Beverly...

''Ohhhh they're really getting a rise out of this Bridget.."laughed Olivia.
"I see." said Bridget as she  pulled one last piece of merchandise out of her bag...

"This bra...This is the latest design.....It's not on the market yet.....If it suddenly shows up...There is proof positive that Lucy Luckenbill is stealing from me.." said Bridget.


"Was there bad blood between you two?" asked Olivia.

"I'll say...She and several other women attempted a coup..Tried to take my company from me...This is when my father was living...As you probably know by now...My late daddy was somewhat of a gangster....Not a traditional chairman of the board...His people discovered what they were doing...His way would have been to eliminate them permenantly...That was not my way...Lucky for them...I fired them all...and that was that....My father turned the company over to me before he met his end..."said Bridget....

"I need the names of her co-conspirators...I have to look into all of that." I said.

"You and Bev stop by tomorrow...I'll have all of that for you."said Bridget...


"Okay girlfriend....we get enough....Then we take em to court..."said Olivia..

"Thanks Liv, Bev..."said Bridget...

"We'll see you tomorrow." I said.
"Interesting case." said Josie ,with a smile..

IV-
The next day...Beverly and I stopped by FANNIES PANTIES , Bridget's competitor...It was a well lit store and very nicely laid out...


I walked up and down the aisles and admired all there was to observe..
Beverly smiled..
"Really enjoying your work huh?" she laughed...
"This is a nice place...but we aren't going to learn anything here...I need to know where the designs are made..." I said.

Just then an effeminate young man in skinny jeans approached me...

"Can I help you sir?" he asked.

"Uh no..not unless you're Fanny." I said.

He didn't appreciate my joke...

"No..I'm Aaron ,Can I interest you in something?" he asked dryly...
"No..Not really....I'm ..I'm here with her.." I said..

He looked Beverly and me up and down and said...

''Ohhhhhhhhhhhh buying the little lady something for a special night eh?" he said.


Beverly was quite amused by the entire exchange...Never the less, she picked up a few items and went to the cashier...
"No..she's my niece..." I said.

He gave me the serious side eye and said -''So you uh always go lingerie shopping with your niece?.. You're not like any uncle I ever knew?" he said.

Beverly cracked up....but said nothing...

''Why Aaron...Your uncle didn't go panty shopping with you?" I asked...
Beverly cracked up laughing....

The snarky effeminate man named Aaron was not amused...but he left us alone...He turned and walked away...


Olivia walked in just then and looked around herself....She found a few articles and preceded to purchase them...


''Hmmmm, I think you'd look just luscious in any one of those numbers. But then again, you'd look luscious in anything." I said.
She smiled...

"Why thank you kindly.." she said with a  phony southern accent that made me laugh...

Aaron  frowned..

"My My...You've got quite a game going on.. In here with one and trying to make time with another.." he said.


"Yeah well some of us got it and some of us don't." I said looking him up and down...


''Oh well I never...!" said Aaron, exasperated...


"I know." I said.
Beverly howled and left the store with me.

"Come On Big Uncle...Let's get out of here." she said.
Olivia  left next and we all met up a few blocks away....

"You're not going to find anything in there...Lucy Luckenbill lives in a condo ,not far from here ....Tazzie lives across town and his studio is at this address.." she said and passed it to me..


"Good Work baby..."I said...."But I knew all of that already..." I said ,showing her my note book with Tazzie's address and Lucy Luckenbill's address and phone number and the location of his studio...

"Beverly and I have  been to both addresses...They're both missing this morning...I thought they might be here...but thanks anyway for looking out.." I said and kissed her ..


"Okay...Okay...Just checking.... I thought you just wanted to look at panties all morning...So I thought I'd help you out.."Olivia joked.."But it's good that we bought these articles...They're the ones Bridget told us to buy." she said.


"Yeah Auntay...yours and the ones I bought match the ones she said were copied.." said Beverly..
"I wondered why you two were actually buying stuff...So this means you..you're not going to keep any of these items...?" I asked.
"Sorry Donnie Ray....This is evidence for our case..." said Olivia.
''Didn't you hear me tell my boyfriend that I don't have any room for any more panties???...He's constantly buying me stuff...I'm going to have to throw some things away or keep some things over his apartment.." said Beverly...
"You mean you don't already do that?" I asked.
"Yeahhhhhhh...but it's getting to be too much...Why am I talking to you about this?" she said.


''To have your problems Baby girl...Well we've done all we can do today...Let's go get something to eat..." said Olivia..


"I could go for some Hot Chocolate." said Beverly...


"Yeah..Me too!" I said.


V-

IN AN ART STUDIO A FEW BLOCKS AWAY- A photographer took one last photo of Portia Evans...


Designer Rod Tazzie smiled..He was tall, thin...had a thin  mustache...was brown skinned.. well dressed with an athletic build..


"Okay Portia...That's enough for today...Jock..Thanks again for the photos.." he said.


"Thank you Rod...Damnnnn man, she's fine.." he whispered...


"Don't I know it." laughed Rod Tazzie...


Brenda Montgomery walked over and passed Rod a tumbler of coffee...


"Thanks baby,." he said as he peeled off a couple of twenties and paid the photographer...


"I got it the way you like it Rod...Two creams...six sugars..." said Brenda..


"French Vanilla cream?" he asked..


"Yes.." she said..

"Good. Thank you..." he said and walked over to Portia..

 "I got something else, the way you like it Rod...and I'm not talking about coffee." said Brenda..

He smiled and ignored her and turned his attention to Portia.


"So uh what are you doin after you leave here?" he asked quietly...


" I didn't have nothing planned..I might go home and chill.." she said.


"How bout I uh chill with you?" he asked..


"Come on Rod..I don't think that's a good idea.. You know I have a boyfriend now.."she said.


"Yall aint serious, you just started seeing this guy and I was tryin to holler at you for awhile.." he protested...


"Well he got to me first...You have to respect that Rod.." she said.."See you tomorrow" she said and retreated to the ladies room to change..


He stomped his foot and balled his fist s up...


Brenda walked over to him..She softly rubbed the crotch area of his trousers....


"Ummmmmmm Rod you're all tensed up...Let me ease some of that tension for you...Ouuuuuuu." she cooed.


He looked at her..


"Brenda..,what are you doing?" he asked..


She unzippered his trousers and ran her soft hands inside his pants and began to fondle him softly...


"Just trying to ease your tension baby..." she moaned.."ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.."


He slowly removed her hands and zipped his pants back up...


"Brenda..You need to go home and do that for your husband..." he said softly
"I want to do it for you....Rod, I'd do anything for you baby..." she said.

He stared at her...He gave her a soft peck on the lips...

"Perhaps...I'll be calling on you sooner than you know." he said.

She had had a crush on him since they started working together....He regretted the one time, a moment of weakness when he gave in and made love to her in the ladies room here in the studio after the Christmas party last year...He hadn't been able to get rid of her since then...That had been a year ago...




She had a cute face and a sexy little body ,he admitted...but she was married and he didn't like messing with another man's wife...

He turned and walked out of the studio and got in his car...


His phone rang as he drove...It was Lucy Luckenbill...


"Hello Lucy."he said.


"Rod...Have you got anything for me?" came the voice..


"Yeah.. She's putting out a Christmas Bra and panty set....She's having me and Brenda design it...It'll be ready in a few days.." said Rod..


"I want it.."said Lucy...


"I don't know.. Something about this seems hincty...I think Bridget might be suspecting something..I followed her yesterday..She went to see a lawyer...She had a briefcase full of stuff...Maybe we ought to cool it for awhile...This might be a trap.."said Rod..


"It's no trap...What can a lawyer do? She's got no proof....I've had my designer alter your sketches just enough so that they aren't complete copies.. She can't prove a thing...She's got nothing." said Lucy...


"Okay...I'll have it to you as soon as I finish it."said Rod.


"Good." she said.


He hung up and kept driving...
Meanwhile inside...Brenda Montgomery watched out the window as Rod Tazzie's car drove off...A light rain poured down on the teaming streets..

She picked up several pairs of panties and bras off the floor....They would be used for the display tomorrow..

She dreamed of modeling these for Roderick, how she loved him so...She could hear music everytime he was near...

 Back at our office...I sat at my desk talking to Olivia and Beverly...

"In a case like this...We need a way in..." I said.
"I know...A way to get close to Tazzie...or whoever is in that studio stealing designs..." said Olivia.

"My cop instinct tells me that Mrs. Montgomery might be an ally...or Portia Evans.." I said.

"Unless they're all in this together.." said Beverly...

"Somehow I don't think so....He or whoever would have to do this with as few people involved as possible...We have to find that weak link....and I think it's either Mrs. Montgomery or Portia Evans..." I said.

"You could be right..but we have to walk a very thin line here." said Olivia..

I was used to doing that.

(TO BE CONTINUED)






14 comments:

Toni said...

This can't be for real...This had me laughing so hard my ribs are hurting...Really Keith?? A war between two Lingerie stores??? Your craziest yet!

Angie B. said...

Panty Wars!!!!

Cheryl said...

Laughing my ass off at the premise of this story and the last comment!

Sunflower said...

This is too funny and way out...Even for you Keith!I await the next installment!

Brenda said...

The Title through me for a loop...But this wouldn't be ESCAPADES without a provocative title and plot!

Anonymous said...

"Goofball...I bet you would like it...AND DON'T BUY IT...I don't have any room for anymore panties."said Beverly...

I have that same problem!

Cheryl said...

LMAO!

James Perkins said...

Anonymous-I find that hard to believe!

Rita said...

I love this....This story sounds very interesting...Where did you get the ideas for this story from?

Lisa said...

Panty Wars!!!!Yayyyy! LOL!

Halo said...

This is hilarious...This whole story had me laughing...Loving it!

Vanessa said...

This is too funny and way out...but as another commenter stated...This wouldn't be ESCAPADES without a provocative title and plot!

Grover Tha Playboy said...

Too Funny!

Tate 2 said...

You're still doin the damn thing with these blogs boy! LMAO!