Friday, October 15, 2010

Steamed Up!

"Kevin,Are you sure this is going to work?" said Ingrid Rhodes.

"It will...I don't want you to worry okay...I've got this under control." I said.

"I don't want any drama at my neices funeral." She said

"Oh it won't be...We'll grab him hours later after the funeral...just trust me Ingrid..this is the only way I can bring your sister's killer to justice." I said.

"Okay Kevin." she said as she sat in the car with Sepia and I.

Once again..I had called in a favor to Newark playa, Tulip.. He had sent his "girl", Kitty Delicious to Philly to portray "Madame X" and take part in my sting.Peeping Tom had her wired and had her in the church at the funeral...
Clerow and Sean Jackson stood outside the church, dressed as ushers and kept a
lookout... Kool Kat stood on the corner in a dark suit and kept his eyes peeled...and I sat in my car across the street from the church....

"Kevin, I've spotted your boy...He's on his way into the church now." said Kool
Kat from his cell phone.

I spotted "Wodie" in dark slacks, a dark shirt and dark tie and a grey suit jack heading into the church...It was the first time I'd ever seen him in anything other than that hoodie. After the funeral was over , he came out with Kitty, just as planned and they got into her "Benz"...A mint condition Mercedes Benz on loan to me from Fathead Newton.

Of course the car was wired...We could hear and see everything that went on inside the car...

"Damnnnn baby..this is sweeeet!...You got dollars like that?" said Wodie.

"People pay me a lot to take my clothes off. I told you that!" she said.

"Yes lawddd,I see are built like a ship...I can't wait ." he said.

"You can't wait for what lover?" she exclaimed.

"Well we is going someplace and get to uh know one another better aint we?" he said.

"Just like that huh? You can't take a girl out for a drink or to get some food or somethin?" she said.

"Well hell, yeah..but I'd like some sex first." he said.

"Wow, you're right to the point aren't you..I don't even know you like that." she said.

"You sound like her...don't talk like her..That's why she dead...." he said.

"Who? What are you talkin about...Why is who dead???" she said.

"I don't wanna talk about it....Why do all of yall put all these nasty, sexy photos on Facebook, and talk all nasty and sexy ,gettin guys like me all steamed up , then yall wanna get all new and suddenly become a lady and all...I aint havin it." he said..

"Heyyy, baby, kool out, it's okay...just's's all good...We can get to that...We can get to that...chill." she said.

"I'm tired of you hoes....She was like that me all steamed up , kept tellin me no so much that I just ripped her clothes off and took it....I...popped off a little early..I don't ever do that...and she laughed at me....I...I...I.. didn't mean to shoot her..but she laughed at me...I..I lost control...people lose know??" he said.

"Relax.....Stormi could be demanding like that....I'm not like her." she said.

"Oh, alright then...alright....well let me lick your breast then." he said.

"I'm driving..come on...there will be time to do all of that when we get to your spot.."

"Okay.....You-You-You..aint no cop are you?" he asked.

"You ever see a cop with double d's like this?" she asked...

"Helllll nahhhhh..nor a body like yours...I'm ready like freddie." he said.

"I see..that bulge in your pants is just gettin bigger and bigger. Cool your energy..cause I'm gone wear your ass out." she said..

"Oh lawd.....ohhhhhh lawd....I'm not gone make it...ahhhhhhhhhhhh..." he said.

Clerow,Sean, even Kool Kat all burst into laughter....We were listening to the entire exchange from our car. We were following them, but was a few blocks behind their car.

"Alright guys...chill out..Did you put that GPS system under her car?" I asked Kool Kat.

"Yup." he said.

"Alright..let's go." I said.

We took off behind their car and in no time we were parked about two blocks from his apartment. Kitty and Wodie were already in the apartment...

"Ohhhhhhhh, ahhhhhhhhhhh...ouuuuu girl that feels good....." he exclaimed...

"I aint even took my clothes off yet..." she said...

"yeah, but your lips were so soft..that was some kiss." he said.

"It was just a get that excited over a kiss?" she said.

She opened up her blouse and began to expose her breasts to him....

"Awwwwwwwwwww....Awwwwwwwww...hell...awwww,ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.." he exclaimed.

"Are you alright? Oh you gotta be're done that fast?" she exclaimed...

"It's'll just take me a minute to uh get started up again...It won't take me but a minute...come on, don't look at me like Stormi did.."

But now Kitty was no longer following the script, which was to keep him calm ,she was really flabbergasted...

"You kiddin me right? I aint even out of my dress and you done popped off? Oh my are pathetic." she exclaimed...

"Don't talk to me like that..Shut up..Shutttt UPPPPPPPPP!!!" he screamed...

It was time to move quick or else he'd kill her... Kool Kat hit the door with all of his might and knocked it off the hinges...Clerow and I entered the apartment with guns drawn! There was no need...Wodie sat in the corner in a catatonic state..staring at the ceiling...muttering....

"All of you are the get a guy all steamed up...A guy can only take so much..I was too steamed up...You are too sexy."

He was completely gone! The police came and based on what I gave them, plus the murder was determined that Basil Ernest Mitchell was indeed the killer of Stormi Jasper. He was in no shape to stand trial for anything though. Today he sits in a padded cell at the Hospital for the Criminally Insane,still muttering-

"You hoes... get us guys too steamed up.....We just can't hold it in..We are too steamed up." That's all he says ,when he says anything at all.


I paid Kitty Delicious and sent her back to Newark on the train with my regards to her boss, Tulip for his help. I wondered when he'd come calling for a favor? I decided not to worry about it...Maybe he'd never need my help. I could only hope.

The singer,Ingrid Rhodes and I stood outside Josie's a few nights later....

"Kevin, I don't know how to thank you....You caught my neice's killer." she said as she passed me an envelope with two thousand dollars cash in it.

"It was the least I could do..Your neice didn't deserve to die like that." I said.

"Yeah, but if she hadn't had such a racy Facebook page, she wouldn't have attracted that nut's attention. She should have never agreed to meet someone who she didn't know." said Ingrid.

"True...Are you going to be alright Ingrid?" I asked.

"Yeah,I guess Kevin....I loved my neice and I'm gonna miss her...I'm going to take some time off from performing...and just chill for a little bit....." she said.

I kissed her on her cheek ...

"Be Easy baby." I said as I walked back inside....

"Always Kevin...Always." she said.


Anonymous said...

I shouldn't laugh but that was too funny! Great story telling as usual Keith.

Anonymous said...

Standing and Applauding,because it was a great story, but keeping my panties on today...That guy was really disapointing.

Toni said...

Too Funny...

Angie B. said...

That was the creepiest of all of the guys Kevin has taken down..

Brenda said...

@Anonymous-Keepin em on today huh?
Heaven help us! lol

Cheryl said...

lol@ Brenda

Sean said...

How do you come up with these stories? You're something else man!
Keep doin what you do!

Captain Jack said...

I was laughing so hard at one point I was nearly in tears..Good story!

Sunflower said...

Nice Non-violent conclusion...Nice touch and some funny moments too!

Tate2 said...

"You're too sexy" -That had me cracking up..Good story once again.