2 Have and 2 Hold

My doorbell rang early the next morning....

"Who is that? Kevin, you expecting somebody?" asked my wife Sepia, who was just waking up.

I shrugged....

"No, are you?" I asked.

"Nope." she said.

I put on my bathrobe and walked down the stairs and opened my front door...It was Attorney, Robert Foxworth!!! He was holding a day old newspaper.....Page 56. It wasn't front page news, but it was news after all...

Philadelphia Real Estate Agent, a suspect in murder of popular Yoga Instructor!  it read!

"You know huh?" I said dryly...

He also showed me some glossy photos of Bonita in bed with Larry John Spann that had been sent to him...He glared at me a little bit...then his eyes looked as if they were getting moist!

"Everything isn't always what it seems Robert...If I recall, some angry woman sent photos of you to both of your ex-wives and some people you worked with some years ago." I said.

"I know...I Know...I got no room to talk...plus these photos are old...they two years old." he said. "We wasn't together then...not together together...I was doin my thing with the Pinkston gal and the undertaker and the sexy ,overweight stripper and Brooke Taylor and- "

"I get the picture Robert....How do you know how old the photos are?" I asked.

"See that thong she got on in that photo?  I bought that for her...I ordered it from Victoria's Secret...She aint even got it no more...I ripped it off of her with my teeth one night...and that was at least about a year and a half ago.." he said matter of factly....Ya gotta love Robert's attention to detail!

"So you're not mad?" I asked.

"No....What's past is past....Hell, I got more than that in my past." he said.

"Okay....Let me get dressed...We are gonna go catch us a killer." I said.

"You know who done this?" he asked, looking almost relieved....

"Got a good clue...Now listen...I need you to sit tight and do exactly as I say." I said.

"You're the boss Kevin." he said.

"Good...Get on the phone..Call Clerow...Tell him to meet me at this address." I said handing him an index card with the address scrawled on it.

"How do you know the killer will be at this spot?" asked Robert.

"Because I called the killer last night and made a request." I said and laughed.

II-

Larry's Health and Wellness Restaurant was open for business...Several people were buying pills, eating healthy meals in the dining area and milling about. I made one more phone call on my Blackberry and then I got out of my car, sat down at a table and waited.  Robert came in also and sat about three or four rows behind me as I instructed...No one would have guessed that we came together.

It didn't take Amber Curicle long to show up...She strode over to my table and sat down..She looked me over and smirked!

"You.  So what did you want to talk to me about that was so important?" she asked.

''Nice place you got here...guess you're running it now, huh?" I asked.

"Yeah...Look, I'm busy...Don't beat around the bush man...What do you want?" she asked.

"Why did you do it Amber?" I asked.

"Why did I do what? , What are you talking about?" she snapped.

"Oh I think you do know what I'm talking about. You killed Larry Spann...No..No..Don't go lying...I'm going to lay it all out for you...See I know the deal....You were his student...He was your mentor....He looked good..You had a crush on him...One day he told you that he had a crush on you too and you two made love for hours...right back there in the back room where he took all of his women....You fell in love...Only he wasn't in love...you were just another notch on his bed weren't you?  You hung in there...you even left your husband and your son for this man.....He must have been hell in the bed wasn't he?  Only, after about a year, he had found some new booty...Some booty that blew HIS mind!! Now this man that no longer could give you the time of day was all over this Philly real estate woman....the way you wished he would have been all over you.."

"You had left your husband for him...He couldn't treat you like this!!! You planned this for a long time,didn't you?  You bought the spyware from Best Buy....You took photos of them in bed together and you mailed it to the cops and to the woman's fiance...and finally...you went in his phone...you knew that she was coming here to see him one last time. You , being his "Assistant " came in killed him and locked the place up...Killed him with a gun you stole ,when you rifled the woman's purse last year...You even hung around and fired two phony shots in the air didn't you?  Am I starting to sound right to you now Amber." I said.

Amber smiled, curled her lip up and said-

"Nice Story....You got it pretty right...but you can't prove any of it...Not one bit." she laughed. Just then her phone rang! I leaned back...

''Aren't you gonna answer that?" I said with a wry smile.

" What is this?" she said.

"You were the anonymous tipster weren't you ? and you called the police from that number to tell them that Bonita Turner had an argument with Larry....I know because her fiance, sitting behind you is the one dialing it...I got photos of you buying the spyware from Best Buy and dimes to doughnuts, that's your DNA in the saliva samples the cops pulled off of the envelopes you mailed to them." I said.

"You got no proof I killed anybody." she said.

"Sure I do...I think that's enough to at least shine a light on you my dear." I said.

Amber slipped a .22 caliber pistol out of her purse....

"Okay smart guy...but only you and I know the truth.....Shame I gotta off you...I couldn't let that lame just run all over me...All the hard work I put into helpin him start this business...all the nights I spent on my back ,staring at the ceilin while he humped away on me...He told me he loved me..He wasn't gonna just throw me away like I was trash....Wait a minute...Are you wearing a wire?" she spat..

"Of course I am." I smiled.

"TAKE IT OFF!!" she screamed....

"I'm afraid I can't do that." I said.

She cocked her pistol and Clerow grabbed her wrist and snatched the gun from her!  Homicide Detective, Jack McCrackin and two uniformed Policeman walked over to the table and handcuffed her....

"Thanks Kevin...Give Sissy Van Buren my regards." he said...

"Don't mention it." I said.

Amber looked at me and just began laughing maniacally......It was a chilling laugh...as they put her in the patrol car and drove off with her.

"Traffic was rough this morning on the boulevard boss." said Clerow.

"That's okay...At least you found the place." I said with a smile.

Robert walked over to us...

"That clears Bonita huh?" he said.

"Yup, she's off the hook...Now go get your tux...You got a wedding to go to mane." I said.

EPILOUGE:

Amber Curicle kept on laughing the entire time....She never stopped...She was found guilty of second degree murder and sentenced to 30 years .She should have been convicted of first degree.

A few days later at Robert and Bonita's wedding reception party, held at Mullbery Street , Sepia and I toasted the happy couple!...Gus laughed and patted Robert on the back...

"Third time is the charm eh counselor?" he laughed.

"Yeah man...I guess." he said sheepishly.

Bonita walked over to me and gave me a hug...

"Oh Kevin...Thank you so much for gettin me off the hook." she said.

"Don't mention it..." I said as I helped myself to more champaigne....

"So where are you going for your honeymoon?" asked Sepia...

''Hawaii." beamed Robert as he put his arm around his partner, Chance Howard..

"Chance will mind the store for me." he laughed.

"Oh by the way...A new juice bar just opened up and they givin away free memberships if anybody is interested...They teach Yoga, Pilates..the whole works...It aint my kinda thing..but if any of you good people are interested...I got the coupons outside in my ride.." he said.

Bonita and Robert both spit their champaigne out of their mouths.....Sepia looked at me....I was trying to keep a straight face....Chance was bewildered....

''Was it something I said?" He asked.   At that point...Sepia and I both excused ourselves and walked outside
and laughed and laughed until our sides hurt!

(For Carlene....)