Last Playa Standing

"Ohhhhhhh....."


"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Godddddddddddddddd...ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..."


"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmph..."


"Ohhhhh daddy work me...work meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..ohhhhhhhhhhh..."


"Ohhhhhhhhhhh lawddddddd woman..ohhhhhhhh..."

Kool Kat ,Clerow and I had got to Two Gun Sam Clemmons's house too late....Well, too late to question him or maybe to warn him as I was now thinking...From the sounds of the bedsprings bouncing and the moans of pleasure coming from his window on this warm summer night...He was occupied.

"Damn Kev..We can't go in their now and I'd sure hate to bust in with this crap while a guy is in the middle of gettin his.." laughed Kool Kat.  Clerow nodded and smiled at Kool Kat...I agreed...

"Ohhhhhhhh baby, I'm about to exploddeeeee..ouuuuuuuuuu..."


''Noo daddy not yet..not yet..ouuuuuuweeeeeeee.... Hey, what's wrong? Why did you stop?  Two Guns..Two Guns??? OH MY GOD.!!! OH MYB GOD!!! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"
came the sound from the window...

''Kool Kat, Clerow!!! Wait..Something's up...Let's go!" I said..

The three of us pulled our weapons..  I rang the doorbell...  I heard footsteps and more screaming....The woman who had been sharing the bed with Two Guns came to the door...She was wearing a sheer baby doll
that left nothing to the imagination...She was too shocked to even try and cover up..

"He's dead!!, He's Dead....OH MY GODDDDDD, He's DEAD!!!!!!!!" she screamed as we rushed past her and charged into the bedroom... Once inside...We found, Samuel ''Two Guns" Clemmons, butt naked, still fully erect and quite deceased...with his eyes wide open...staring at the ceiling....

"Holy Crap...He's dead." said Clerow...stating the obvious!...

"Man, she must have put it on him" exclaimed Kool Kat....

"This wasn't her....This was definitely something else.." I exclaimed...

  I turned to the stunned woman...

"Anybody else been here tonight?" I asked.

"Only Mr. Butler....He brought over a case of beer...they sat and talked....For about an hour...then Mr. Butler left." she said..

I looked at the six pack....Two bottles had been finished...There were four left...

"You drink any of that beer?" I asked.

''No...I don't like beer...that was his beer."she said.

"Well call the police...Get dressed and don't touch anymore than you have to." I said.

"I thought you guys were cops." she said.

"Nah...we are uh friends of his." said Kool Kat...He then pinched her on her rear end...She looked at him and giggled and he smiled at her...

''Where do you live baby?" he asked.

''Right around the corner." she said.

"Well maybe I can uh stop by later and uh help you with your grieving." he said.

She looked at him and smiled and winked at him...

''That would be realll nice."she cooed.

"Ah know that's the truth." he said with a devilish smirk...

"Ummmmm Hmmmmmmmm." she said with a grin....I just shook my head...Clerow laughed and slapped his knee.

II-

A few nights later I sat in Josies drinking a Corona and talking to Gus the bartender.

"What's eatin you kid?  You cracked a case...you got paid and three bad men are dead..What do you have to be concerned about?" he asked.

"Not much gets by you does it Gus?" I said.

''Nope...Not much." he laughed.

"They were plottin to knock off Fathead Newton, Roscoe, Ralph Mole, Ling Chou and Minolo Diaz." I said.

''Wow...enterprisin little buggers weren't they?Who was gonna do the hits?" asked Gus.

"They never hired anyone." I said.

"That's right because Fathead and the boys hit them first." said Gus.

"No...this wasn't them...That's not how they operate... Minolo Diaz is so busy hiring lawyers to get his Uncle and his brother out of jail that he doesn't have the time nor the resources and Ling Chou??? Well, he just doesn't fit into the equation..." I said.

"Then they knocked each other off!" exclaimed Gus..

"You know...I thought that at first, but then Two Guns died...So who knocked him off?" I asked.

"Yeah, I see your point....What do you think?" asked Gus..

"What do you know about Ralph Butler?  He was always hanging around them...Kind of like an advisor or somethin." I said.

''Ralph Butler??? That old chisler is still around?" asked Gus with a smile.

"Yeah, what about him?" I said.

"At one time he was the King of Philadelphia...He ran all of the Black rackets....He was affilliated with the Mafia boys.....He was bigger than Fathead, Big Daddy, Little Ricky...all of these young guys who think they got game." said Gus.

'"So what happened?" I asked.

"What happened? The FBI happened that's what...He was indicted and he got a tip from somebody...He fled to San-Francisco....That's where they caught him...He did five years in Leavenworth and another five in Lewisburg...When he come back to Philly, things were different...There was no longer a place for him...He retired from the game....He kind of served as an advisor to the young playas on the come up.....He 's got a nice house...Owns a Beer Distributor........He had a daughter, Fine little thing...but she was fast and loose..
"said Gus.

"Where is she?" I asked.

"She's dead...Beautiful woman...Made brothers melt....You know, she was actually that boy, Short Dawg's woman for a minute...He turned her out , had her on the damn street hustlin for him..He was a butt head...Then she was running with Two Guns for awhile and when he was tired of her..Mingo Robinson was runnin with her...They just abused her....She wound up on Heroin and overdosed...That was one year before Ralph got out of prison...It hurt him to the core." said Gus.

"And he still did business with those creeps?" I asked.

"I don't think he knows about that...He was in prison Kev....and besides...There was lots of money to be made workin with those creeps as you call them..How you think he afforded that big house he live in? , How you think he bought that beer distributor he owns?? He makes a pile of legit money with just that alone." said Gus.

"Thanks Gus...You just solved a mystery for me." I said and tossed a few dollars on the counter.

"Always glad to be of some help kid." laughed Gus as I left and got in my car....

III-

It was a quarter to midnight when I rang the doorbell of Ralph Butler's house....He came to the door in some boxer shorts and with a stocking cap on his head...

''You Ralph Butler?" I asked.

"Who wants to know?" he snarled.

"My name is Kevin Morris...I'm a private investigator....I just need a minute of your time." I said.

''You got five minutes" he said and he allowed me in.

"Mr. Butler...I won't mince my words....You killed Mingo Robinson, Sam Clemons and Bobby Low didn' t you?" I said.

''What? Nigguh you is crazy." he snarled.

"I heard about your daughter and I'm sorry for your loss....It must have burned you up to come out of jail and find out that these three punks owned all of the real estate that you used to own...and that you had to depend on them for your house and your beer distributorship....These punks that abused your daughter...How long did you sit and wait and plot their demise?" I asked.

"Aww nigguh you don't know nothin...." he said.

"It was the beer...Short Dawg had a Corona that you gave him just before he came in the Bottom of The C..There was a half drank beer bottle with your prints on it found in his car...with residue from a quick releasing poison that was found in his system.....I saw Mingo take a swig of another Corona that you left for him just before he jumped in the pool and died...The cops have it...Guess what they found in it? The girl that was with Clemmons told me that you had been his last visitor other than her and guess what you brought over? A six pack of beer...Clemmons drank two tainted bottles...If I know all of this...The cops know it too...
You can deny all you want Butler...but it don't matter..It's over...." I said.

"Them bastards ruined my daughter.....ruint her....It killed me inside....and I swore that I'd get all three of em..Sons of bitches....I got em all..GOT EM ALL!!" he said.  He walked to the refrigerator and got himself a Coke...He poured himself a glass and took a swig...

"I called the cops..They're on their way Mr.Butler." I said.

He smiled-

''They are? Well good...but I aint goin to jail....For my next trick! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha." He laughed and then...his body jerked violently and foam ran out of the sides of his mouth and he fell backwards...quite dead.... staring right at me...Eyes wide open. He had tainted the Coke with cyanide...enough to kill a horse the police would later find out! He apparently had prepared himself for the eventuality of being found out and had taken the cowards way out!

EPILOUGE:

"Ohhh Ralph, you've outdone yourself" said Sepia as we enjoyed some Louisiana Gumbo that he had made.

"Man Kev..I'm so glad you cracked that case and proved that it wasn't our food that killed that guy." said Ralph Scallion...

"It was my pleasure...I enjoy the food here too much to ever want to see suspicion thrown on this joint." I said.

"Hey Ralph, you gonna give me that recipe?" asked my wife, Sepia.

Ralph looked at her side eyed..

"You gone give it to Mabel aint you?" he said.

"88 is out of town and maybe I can get her to uh come over and spend some time with you." said Sepia.

"You just need to stop jivin with him like that, gettin his hopes up." I said.

"Nah, wait a minute...Can you put in a good word for me?" asked Ralph...

''Ralph...I was just kidding." said Sepia...

"Awww come on!!" said Ralph...

I just laughed and laughed and continued to eat my gumbo...