Friday, May 25, 2012

A Comedy Of Errors

I had already called Robert Foxworth and told him to get out of his office.....I wore a suit that was exactly like his... and some horn rimmed glasses...We were about the same height and build and complexion...So I took his place...I went to court with Cole and Chance Howard and then I had them leave and I was seen entering their office after hours when all of his staff had gone...

I wondered who was going to do Robert..This was not the type of job they'd send Byron King on...No..They'd more than likely send Bobby Darden or Ricky Jeters to do this job....One look at the security camera and my suspicions was right..They had sent Ricky Jeters to do the job...

Ricky was not the brightest bulb in the ceiling... He walked into the office(and the office cameras) and fired three well placed shots into what he thought was Robert Foxworth...but was actually a store manequin with a suit on...The manequin slumped over the desk and fake blood ran across the desk and on to the floor...

He smiled and then walked out... Caught the elevator and then  walked to a pay phone where he called Bobby Darden's room...


'Hey's done...The shyster is dead." he said.

''You big dummy, don't call my name on the phone..."snapped Bobby.

"Oh yeah that's right." he said and hung up.

"Who was that?" asked Jack Ambrose...

"That dummy, Ricky Jeters...He killed the shyster." said Bobby.

"You asked me to hire him to be the go between." said Jack Ambrose.

"I didn't know he was this stupid." said Bobby.

"Well anyway..we no longer need his services....So cancel his contract." said Jack Ambrose.

''With pleasure." said Bobby Darden.

All of that was caught on videotape...A videotape that Peeping Tom, Lockpick Johnson and Sean Jackson had in their van.

I turned on the light in the office..Robert Foxworth, Cole and Chance Howard all walked in, along with Peeping Tom.

''Damn Counselor, you look good for a dead man." I joked.

''Just make sure you get these guys Kev."said Robert Foxworth.

"Don't's already been put in tomorrow morning you or no one else will have to worry about those guys." I laughed.

"Got it all on video Kev" said  Peeping Tom.

''Did Lockpick Johnson deliver those video recordings to Mr. King?" I asked.

''Oh yeah. I'm sure Mr. King will be  uh less than amused when he hears them plotting to kill him also." he said.

"This ought to be worth a good laugh." I said.

"Did you call the police?" asked Robert.

''Nah...Not yet..but I will." I laughed sheepishly as Robert,Cole,Chance and Peeping Tom all burst out in laughter.


A few hours later...Clerow, Owen Todd, Kool Kat and I sat outside the Sheraton Hotel at Penn's Landing... Things were about to get heated... We had sent the hitman, Byron King a video of his meeting with Jack Ambrose and Bobby Darden, including the part that he didn't hear...What they said after he left...Where Bobby was instructed to kill both Ricky Jeter and Byron King after my demise...

Sean Jackson had followed him from the Sheraton and had located where he was staying.. I had the video of the entire meeting sent to him on a DVD...Even sent a portable DVD player, to make sure he saw and heard everything...

We couldn't save Ricky Jeter unfortunately.... I had no idea where he was.Bobby Darden shot him sometime that night , twice in the back of the head...His body would be found in an alley in West Philly , the next morning...

"Kev...Look...There's our boy....Byron King!" said Kool Kat.

"He looks as hot as a pistol" said Clerow.

"Yeah,I imagine, he wouldn't be too happy right about now." I mused.

"Showtime fellas" said Owen Todd.

Clerow smiled that toothy grin of his and cocked his pistol...So did Owen....Kool Kat and I followed them into the Sheraton...


The beds in both rooms were squeaking...the headboards were slamming against the walls...and the moans of both men and women could be heard...Jack and Bobby both had female companionship in their rooms... This is what they did practically every night...Had someone send them a woman to their rooms...They were living pretty good in Philadelphia!

Byron knocked on Bobby's door first....

"WHAT? WHO IS IT?" he screamed.

"Open the door man, I need to talk to ya." said Byron.

"Get lost pal...I'm busy." he snarled.

He knocked again!

"BEAT IT PAL!" screamed Bobby.

Byron King knocked on the door of Jack Ambrose..... Jack Ambrose opened the door...He had a half nude young lady with him....Byron King shot and killed her on the spot and aimed the gun  right at a startled Jack Ambrose who was in his boxers...

''I don't like the way you do business Jack....So my business with you is terminated and so are you..." he said and shot Jack twice in his chest and once in his side.

"ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGH......I don't believe it...I've been shot....." he screamed as he fell to the ground..."What the hell you shoot me for?" he screamed in pain.

Bobby Darden swung  his door open...He too was in his boxers, but he had his pistol..He fired two times ,hitting Byron King in his back....Byron King stumbled forward and spun around....

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...I don't believe it...I've been shotttt.." he screamed and fired at Bobby ,hitting him twice in his chest!... He fired again , hitting him in his shoulder and in his side.

"ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH... I DON'T BELIEVE IT...I"VE BEEN SHOT..!!!!" Bobby screamed as he tossed his gun up in the air and fell face forward....

Jack crawled back in his apartment and grabbed his pistol...He fired twice at Byron King ,hitting him in his side and in his shoulder ..."Take that you dirty bastard..ughhhh." he moaned.

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...Ohhhhhh...You..You..You take this, you backstabbing bloodclot.ARGHHHHHHHHHH" screamed Byron...

Byron fired at Jack Ambrose hitting him again in his chest....Jack tossed his gun up in the air and fell up against the wall...He slid down to the ground and just sat still...

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh mama.....ahhhhhhhhhhhh.." moaned Jack....bleeding profusely!

Byron King stumbled to the end of the hall and then collapsed....

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...good lordddd...Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ...Damn Americans...I hate working with....them....ohhhhhhh... I'm shot....It hurts...ohhhhh...." he mumbled, then he fell silent...He was dead!

Bobby Darden managed to stumble back into his room , where he fell on his bed....very bloody and very,very dead!...  A half naked girl who was in his room, let out a scream, grabbed her bra, panties ,shoes and dress and ran out into the hall and past us and down the back steps!Still screaming at the top of her lungs. Clerow and Owen smiled sheepishly!

Poor Jack Ambrose was amazingly still alive when Owen, Clerow , Kool Kat and I came upon him...

"Heyyy Jack, you had some wing ding here tonight huh?" I said ,looking down at his bloody body..

He spat blood..coughed and stared at me with pure hatred.....

"You go to hell.. You go straight to hell.." he snarled...

"Nah....A little too hot for my tastes but when you get there say hello to some of my friends." I said.  Kool Kat laughed and drew his weapon...but I pushed it away..

"No need for that Big man... He's in pretty bad shape as it is....Call the police...You know how long it takes for them to get here." I laughed...He laughed too..So did Clerow and Owen...

"This was you....Some-Some-Somehow you had somethin....somethin...somethin to do with thissssss.." he moaned.

"Of course..What? Did you think I was just in hiding, twiddling my thumbs all that time Jack?" I laughed.

"Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....If I wasn't all shot up...I'd shoot you myself." he groaned and died right there on the spot.

"What a mess" said Kool Kat.

"Come on guys...Let's get out of here before somebody thinks we had something to do with this." I said and we all left.


The police had one hell of a crime scene to clean up...the bodies of Jack Ambrose, Bobby Darden , an unknown prostitute, International killer, Byron King and later on that day, Rick Jeter....I helped Lt. Sissy Van Buren put the missing pieces together, though I conveniently left out how I may of manipulated these guys into killing each other.

The only thing I regretted is that the prostitute got killed...She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time..
but otherwise, totally innocent.  From what I was to find out later...The New York Mob was glad to be rid of Jack Ambrose....They thought he was crazy.

Ben Ali was convicted of second degree murder and sentenced to 25 years to life...Amazing...He was the only one involved in this whole caper who did a day of time...Every one else was unfortunately for him, dead.

All of my friends went back to leading normal lives again...



"Phew, Kevin that was...that was ...that was somethin else..." said Sepia  after we finished making love  one night...

''Yes indeed girl..We hadn't been able to do that for awhile." I said.

"It sure is nice to sleep in one's own bed ." I said.

"Yes it is." she added...

She lay there for a minute , then she said -



''Ever notice how you always manage to outsmart these guys, these bad guys and always stay just one step ahead of them/ You ever wonder why you always come out on top?" she mused.

''Yeah, cause I'm smarter than them." I said.

''Maybe...but that wasn't the answer I was going to give." she said.

"Oh? Why do you think that is?" I asked.

''Because your heart is pure." she said.

I was glad she thought so....but I knew better...My heart was anything but pure...Maybe I had been dealing with the bad guys too long...I was beginning to feel as though I wasn't much better than them sometimes...

Still, I just smiled at my wife's compliment.


Anonymous said...

Standing and applauding and throwing my panties....Loved that ending with Kevin and Sepia in bed!

Swaggie said...

Ahem, that last comment not with standing...I enjoyed this...Kevin and his crew outwitting gangsters..

James Perkins said...

Great story, hillarious conclusion..with all of the main playas shooting each other and Kevin's hands clean...Well kinda sorta!

Grover Tha Playboy said...

Loved it!