Who Would Have Thought?

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT IN HIS WILL?" screamed Tara Walker, the would be widow of Supreme Court Judge Calvin Corley , who had died a few days ago in a very suspicious car accident...

"Just what I'm telling you... You're not mentioned anywhere in this will..." said Attorney Robert Foxworth...who was handling Judge Corley's affairs...

"That's impossible...He must have written another will." she snapped.

"He did and that one was older than this one..and you weren't mentioned in that one either...It belonged to his then wife, Juanita Corley..." said Chance Howard, his assistant...

"Nah...This is some B.S. I was that man's wife for ten years." she snapped...

"Uh..I'm afraid not.." said Beverly ,who was also there and just waiting to say something..

She looked at Beverly derisely....

''Who is this chick?" she said.

''That chick is Attorney Beverly West, who is assisting me in this matter and I am ,Attorney Olivia Bennett-Alexander...We represent Juanita Corley...We asked to view both wills." said my wife Olivia..

"Well I don't know why?  She aint gettin a dime...She divorced him a day before he died.." said Tara...

"Funny you would say that Tara....Let's do the math...If she just got a divorce from him the day before he died..That means that your marriage to him was null and void." I said.

She looked at me like she wanted to spit on me..

"And who in the hell are you? Another lawyer?" she asked..

"Me? Nooo.I'm Donnie Ray Alexander...I'm an investigator for Mrs. Bennett-Alexander's firm...I'm also her husband." I said.

''Well Laaa Di Dah." she said.

Robert Foxworth looked exasperated....

"Look,Ms. Walker.. I'm afraid they are right....They have a legal marriage certificate and divorce papers....Plus they have a copy of the certificate you two got when you got married in Tijuana...Your certificate is a fake and according to an investigation...The people who supposedly married you were grifters ,criminals...Your marriage was never legal in the first place....It's all here in the paperwork." He said.

She looked at the three of us...

"So we were never married?.Is that what you're saying? Is that what the hell you're tellin me?? Uh Uh....No, this aint right...I'll get another attorney, you're a fraud." she said.

"The paperwork doesn't lie...You can get as many attorneys as you want...But you were never legally married to him and plus...I think he knew that all along...Look at the property papers...Nothing is in your joint name ,it's all in his name.......Both cars...His Home...Even your credit cards are in his name...and with him dead, you have to turn them over..You can't use them anymore."said Beverly...getting a real charge out of  telling her this...

"I hate to tell you this honey...but in the second will, he actually left his home, two of his cars ,his art collection and 3.5 million to my client, Juanita Corley...It's all there...Look..Read it." said Olivia...

She read it and tossed it on the table in anger...What did I get? WHAT DID HE LEAVE ME??" she asked..

Robert's other attorney Cole read the rest of the will...

''He left 15 million to the United Negro College Fund...5 Million to Big Brothers -Big Sisters..and another five million to charities." he said.

"This is crap...CRAP!!!!" she yelled..

''I'm afraid it's not Tara." said Robert Foxworth...

''Did he leave me anything?" she asked.

''He did..." said Robert Foxworth..

Her eyes lit up...

''Well why didn't you say so?" she said.

''He left you a car and $1500.00 in cash..That should help you get to and put a down payment on an apartment.." he said..."Oh and there is the matter of my fee!" he said.

"What fee? You didn't do a damn thing." she said.

''I can only work within the law...You were never legally his wife and he didn't leave you much!"

"Crummy lousy bum...I slept with that man for ten years....endured his numerous affairs with other women and he dies and leaves me a damn car and a grand? Lousy ,crummy, cheap bastard...." she grumbled..

"If you hurry, you can drive back to that house in your car and get your things out before it goes up for sale."laughed Beverly...

She looked at Beverly like she wanted to strangle her and she stormed out!

"I got screwed..." she said.

"Literally and figurtively." said my wife Olivia..

Beverly, Cole,Chance Howard,Robert Foxworth and I all busted out laughing.

Robert Foxworth slumped down in his chair...

"See what I have to deal with Livy...Pray you never have to represent a client like her.." he said.

"Oh I do...My client will be happy to learn of her good fortune.." said Olivia...

"How is Juanita?" he asked.

''She's well" said Olivia.

"You know..Me and her had a little fling years ago....She's quite a woman." said Robert Foxworth,smiling and remembering a few afternoons in the judge's chambers after a big trial..

"Well Ladies....Let's be on our way...Let's give Juanita the good news.."I said.

''Hey Bev...Your boyfriend, Nelson is doing just great...He's in court today...He'll be sorry he missed you." said Robert..

"I'll make it up to him." said Beverly...

Robert smiled..."I'll just bet you will." he said and laughed a sinister grin...He took out a bottle of Hennessey and poured himself a glass...No Ice and swigged it down...The three of us left.

II-

A fingerprint smudge was found underneath Calvin Corley's car...It belonged to an auto-mechanic ,Rufus Woodley...He had a sheet on him...He had been up for Armed Robbery once and another time for Burglary...He was arrested and charged with tampering with Supreme Court Judge Calvin Corley's automobile...Murder one....
I saw him being taken out by Detectives ,Edwin "Duke" Baylor, Carlotta Rodriguez-Wallace, Tyriq Pile and James"Jimmy" Barlow...Along with their sexy boss, Lt. Sissy Van Buren...I wished my lieutenant had looked like her when I was in New Orleans...It would have been hard for me to leave..I mused..

He cut a deal for a Manslaughter rap...He named the person that hired him to do it and provided proof...He received A 15-25 year sentence for manslaughter.

It was none other than Ms. Tara Walker..She figured she'd cash in on what she thought would be a great windfall of cash..She had agreed to break Rufus Woodley off a piece..unfortunately there was nothing to break off..

She was picked up immediately....Once Again, the beautiful Lt. Sissy Van Buren was present for the arrest, but this time she was with two other detectives....Detective Sirena Pile, the beautiful and sexy wife of detective Tyriq Pile and Antonio Hopkins ,who they called "Hop" , the husband of my good friend, FBI Agent, Sharon Ferrell-Hopkins , who was also present...

 I had inadvertedly given them a murder that they wouldn't have even suspected had been been committed.. Tara Walker was eventually convicted and sentenced to 15- 30 years...Bad luck just seemed to follow this girl now of days....With luck, Rufus and Tara might be getting out around the same time...They could buy each other a drink, I mused and smiled to myself.

III-

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..."

"Ohhhhh Herbert....ouuuuuuuuuu."

"Juanita...lawd today..what are you doing to me???..You drivin me crazy.."

"What are you doing to me?..Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.."

"Shame I'm pregnant...We could go back to the hotel and work it out." said Juanita...

"You aint but six weeks girl...We can still work it out...I'll be gentle.." said Herbert..

The two, Herbert Drinkwater and Juanita Corley were kissing passionately....In our office...

Josie looked at us and shrugged her shoulders..

"They said they wanted to wait for you.." she said.

Olivia smiled..

"It's okay Josie.." she said.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..."

"Ohhhhh Herbert....ouuuuuuuuuu."

"Juanita...lawd today..what are you doing to me???.."

"What are you doing to me????..Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh..ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.."

I whispered to Olivia...

"Looks like we won't have to file that paternity suit."

She smiled at me and rubbed my arm...

They continued kissing as though We weren't there...Beverly cleared her throat..

They stopped kissing....Herbert Drinkwater smiled sheepishly....

"Ms. West..Olivia..Donnie Ray!!!..." he said.

"So..Any news?" said Juanita Corley...

"Yes...For what it's worth...Your ex-husband must have still loved you...He left you five million dollars, his home and two of his vintage cars...The rest of his money he gave to his favorite Charities.." I said.

Juanita's eyes began to moisten...

"Wow...Who would have thought?  He didn't leave that little trollip anything?" she asked..

"Oh he left her one car and a little over a thousand dollars."said Olivia..

Juanita and Herbert Drinkwater busted out laughing...

"I uh..See you two found each other.." said Beverly...

"We did...Olivia...Herbert asked me to marry him!!!  Look at the ring he bought me.." she said..

"Oh My God...It's beautiful..Who would have thought?" said Olivia...

''Wowwww, look at you Ms. Corley... "said Beverly..

I was impressed...He was serious...Amazing just a few days before he had a young woman bent over the desk and he was flailing away inside of her...Guess I misjudged him I mused..

"Congratulations man." I said.

"Hey...We are getting married next week ,downtown at the Marriot...We want you three to come."said Herbert Drinkwater..

"Sure.." I said.

"Olivia...Livy..I don't have many close friends as you can guess....I would like for you to be my maid of honor...and Beverly, I want you to be one of my bridesmaids...You and Bridget Jones...I've become friendly with her recently...I buy a lot of lingerie from her." she said.

"Yess lawd.." said Herbert...

"Oh shut up freshie.." she said laughing and blushing a bit...and they began to kiss again...

"Oh Girl,I can't wait." he moaned...in between wet sloppy kisses...

''Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...just a little longer baby...ouuuuuuuuuuu.."she cooed..

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...you drivin me out of my mind..."

"Ohhhhh Herbert....ouuuuuuuuuu......oh my goodness,Herbert!"

"Juanita...lawd today..I am losing my mind....???"

"Oh Herbert, calm down baby...??..Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.."

"I can't...You just are sooo good baby...ohhhh."he moaned as they continued deep throat kissing..

"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, so are you....ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!" she moaned.

''Ahhh, why don't you guys uhhh...Oh forget it...Josie...Come on with us...We are going to get some lunch."said Olivia..

"Sounds like a plan Ms. Livy" said Josie...

"Toss me your keys D.R." said Beverly

 "Great, you and Josie ride up front...Auntay and me..will uh imitate that happy couple in the office here.."I laughed..

"Please...You guys are mushy enough...If those office walls could talk." said Beverly...

Josie cracked up...

"Lock up when you're finished guys. Ahhh, never mind." I said...They weren't even listening to us...

"Ummmmmmm.."

"Ohhhhh Herbie..."

"Ohhhhh Juanita...put it onnnnn mee girl...damnnnnnnnnnnnn.."

"Ohhhh yes baby..." 

Olivia looked at Josie ,Beverly and Me..and remarked..

''Who Would Have Thought?"

EPILOUGE:

Herbert Drinkwater and Juanita Haley Corley got married within a week...Nine months later they welcomed a nine pound baby boy, Herbert Drinkwater Jr. into the world...
Juanita sold the house that ex-husband Calvin owned and the two of them bought a very nice house for themselves...Kevin Morris's wife, Sepia Morris and Robert Foxworth's wife, Bonita Foxworth sold the house to them, just as they had sold us our duplex and office...

Juanita Drinkwater was ecstatic that we'd helped her get a divorce and find a husband..She paid us handsomely and as Olivia predicted she steered a lot of her friends our way, which helped us out immensely ,financially..

She is still a stern-no nonsense judge in court.....But she is our new friend and she smiles broadly and hugs us, everytime she sees one of us...

Herbert Drinkwater has a successful law practice now and seems to be quite content with his new wife and new baby...

Olivia and I sat in a booth in Josie's enjoying some spicy hot chicken wings and beers...

"You're killing me girl with all that hot sauce..you puttin on those wings."I remarked..

"Oh?  I thought you liked me hot and spicy?" she said and winked at me seductively...

I smiled sheepishly...

"I dooooo.." I said and laughed...looking at her salaciously...

"Oh knock it off you two." came the voice of Beverly and Nelson..who had just walked in...

"Heyy you two...Care to join us?" I asked.

"Okay, but we aren't staying...We are going to the new late night drive in movies that just opened up a few blocks away." said Beverly...

"Late night drive in? What?  I thought those went out with VHS." I said.

"Chris and Chess just opened it up....It's a block over from their new shopping center."said Nelson.

"Oh wow....That sounds nice...Just what this neighborhood needs...I like a movie..What's playing?" asked Olivia..

"I don't know....I'm just curious...I've never been to a drive in...I've heard of them."said Beverly.

"I've never been either..but your father used to tell me about them."said Olivia...

From a distance...We saw Josie...She and Paris were dancing slow and kissing passionately.....

"Awww ,I'm so happy for Josie..She found somebody." said Olivia...

"I was thinking about asking Josie and Paris to go with us...but I think at midnight they're going to be making a movie of their own." said Beverly..

I watched them and I smiled...Yes...an X rated movie...I smiled to myself...