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Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Fun with Dick & Jane


Sherrif Lyle Holley showed Robert,Sepia and I the crime scene photos...Dated August 21, 2000.
They showed a naked man with his head blown off laying in the living room....a few feet from him near the door , was a naked woman.....Then in the bedroom ,lying on the floor was Van Peters...
apparently the victim of a self inflicted wound. He had come home caught his wife in bed with his business partner and had slaughtered them both with a shotgun...Then he had taken a second gun and shot himself in the head in the bedroom he had shared with his wife...a bedroom that had been defiled. The Sherrif showed us the autopsy reports on all three. One thing was for certain...All three people,including and especially Van Peters were dead and had been dead for ten years.

I could tell that someone had brought the bed and breakfast and had done a great deal of work on it. The House I saw last night was markedly different from the old bed and breakfast that Van and his wife had owned and had died in. A lot of work had been done.

"Sherrif...Who renovated Coral Gables after the tragedy?" I asked.

"That would be Richard and Jayne Lewis...They invested a lot of money into it , had it gutted, new floors put in, new windows, new kitchen, the works." said Lyle Holley.

'Well what happened then?" asked Sepia.

"He was a Lawyer..worked at a big firm...Lost his job after September 11th 2001...and couldn't keep up the payments on the loan. His wife started drinking and running around...or so he said
and they defaulted on their loan and lost the place. It just sat for years and then a Real Estate firm purchased it. They had a woman named Bonita Turner working on it, but she could never unload it. Nobody wanted nothing to do with it ,once they found out about the double murder -suicide and the ghosts running around in there." he said.

"Come on Sherrif..You don't believe in ghosts now do you?" I asked.

"You was up there....what did you see?" He asked.

I laughed....this was insane....

'Well Look , Do you have an address for the Lewis's ? I'd at least like to talk to them." I said.

"Yeah..They lost their house...They are staying at the old Motel off route 7...I'll give you directions." said the Sherrif.

"Kevin...Come on man, let it go...why we gotta talk to them..I don't want nothin to do with that
house at this point." said Robert Foxworth.

"Neither do I Kevin." added Sepia.

"That's exactly what somebody wants you to say...Aren't you curious as to why somebody is obviously trying to scare you away? You inquire about the property and you wind up talking to a man who's been dead for ten years..You go up there and the doors are opening and closing ,Naked people dashing through the halls and all....Come on man..can't you see? This is all smoke and mirrors...Somebody is trying to keep the both of you from buying and selling that property." I said.

"And you know what? They did a damn good job..I don't want it."said Robert.

"How did you hear about it?" I asked.

"Jordy, was out here and he saw it and he passed it on to me as a possible investment property.
He gave me a number to call and I called it. The man asked me a whole lot of questions..about why I wanted it and if I thought I could swing it..and all..he told me his name was Van Peters and that he could be reached at another number other than the one Jordy gave me. I offered to be a middle man and told him I'd get a Real Estate agent to come look at it..That's where your wife came in...I had heard from Chess that she was looking to sell a few properties and so I brought Sepia in on this. Only thing is..I never heard from Van Peters again." said Robert Foxworth.

"Yeah,because you were never talking to him....You were talking to someone who wants the same thing you want...and they want you out of the deal...I suspect, it's someone who is trying to
buy a little time." I said.

"Okay...let's go see Dick and Jayne" said Robert.

"Who?" asked Sepia.

"Richard and Jayne Lewis" said Robert.

The three of us drove out to the motel where the two were staying. There was a Benz and a Lexus parked in front of the small room. Robert,Sepia and I walked up to the door of their room.. We could hear loud voices from inside the room..It was the voices of a man and a woman.

"Look Jayne....I'm this close to landing a job with a decent firm....once I do and get my credit straight...I can swing a loan and we can get that Bed and Breakfast back....I'm telling you..That will be our vacation money...It's a gold mine."

"Oh Richard..you and your pipe dreams...that's the reason we are living in this motel now...I don't know why I ever listened to you...You're all talk...and no action."

"You've never believed in me!!!"

"Believe in what? All of your schemes have brought us to this...a Motel room, no house, very little money and no business."

"I'll give you some business all right...get over here.."

"That's not going to work Richard...Everytime you want to talk me into something you try to use sex and it's not going to work....stop....take your hands off me...put that thing away...Richardddddd, I'm not in the...ohhhh...ohhhh my gooddd, it's so big....ohhhh, stoppppppp... I'm trying to talk serious...Richarrrrrd..."

"I'm serious about making some sweet love to you girl..now get over here..."

"Ohhhh Richard...ohhhhhhh..how can you think of sex at a time like this...ohhhh, stop, you just ripped my blouse...I paid good money for that blouse...stop, stop sucking my breasts..stop...oh you're so nasty...Richard..stop...ohhhhhh,ouuuuuuuu..stop..ohhhhhhhhh..don't stop..don't stop....ouuuuu, give it to me...."

There was the sound of a bed squeaking.....

Robert looked at me....and so did my wife, Sepia....

"Perhaps this is a bad time to talk to them...maybe we can come back another time." said Robert.

Sepia folded her arms and gave me a serious side eye...

"You know what?" I said... This is a bad time ....Let's talk to them tomorrow." I said ,as I smiled at Sepia and Robert weakly.

(To be Continued...)



18 comments:

Toni said...

Love this title...lolol.

Angie B. said...

Don't know how I missed this story Keith...Cracked up at the title,but it's fitting!lolol

James Perkins said...

What? Nobody was throwing no drawers? lolol.

AnonymousII said...

Nice Title and fitting..I'm surprised the panty tosser didn't comment!

Simon Bastion said...

These two don't seem like they have the money or the connections to set up an elaborate hoax..yet they certainly have the motivation.

Sunflower said...

I'm going to comment on this, then go to your next post....This looks like either somebody is trying to buy some time or ease out the competition...by scaring the competition to death!

Jazzy said...

Loved the title of this one fam!lol

Tate2 said...

Cool Title..Funny story.

Lisa said...

Dick and Jayne are real horndogs..
Amazing..to be in the predicament they're in and still living together and having sex...lololol.

Halo said...

Keith,Please tell me that these two numbskulls aren't the masterminds behind this.lololol.

Vanessa said...

This looks like this is going to be a comedy of errors.

Brenda said...

The ending of this was priceless!

Cheryl said...

Everything about this story was funny!

Grover Tha Playboy said...

Dick and Jane was gettin it in..LMBAO!

Swaggie said...

Just now reading this..I read ahead. This all seems like a big hoax..Somebody definitely doesn't want them there..The only thing is why?

Sean said...

I just noticed something..So far, not one crime has been committed and nobody has lost their lives..
A good sign.-lolololol.

Captain Jack said...

As usual, very entertaining.

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna throw my panties at you!!!!lolololol.