Monday, March 15, 2010

Coffee,Ice Cream, Me?


"My name is Robert Louis Foxworth, I'm an attorney at law. I am a damn good attorney if I don't say so myself...I also am a sexual addict." I said on my first day in Sex Rehab...I had never held much creedence in this type of thing and had often laughed and scoffed at people who went in for this type of thing. My Ex-Wife, Sissy Van Buren...Now a Homicide detective in the Philadelphia Police Department suggested I get some help.

She had been a beautiful and wonderful wife....but I had fallen deeply in lust with a woman named Cindy Waters and our affair had been discovered. It ruined my marriage to the best and finest human being I had ever known. I married again...A hot young Chica named Corrine. We had a nice home and even talked about having kids... Once again...I was caught in the sack with Cindy Waters...a hot young collegue of mine at the time.

You might say that Cindy Waters was my problem....but I didn't marry her. For the next two years we both tried to one up each other....Doing some of the most hateful and spiteful things to each other. It cost us both jobs in that corporate law world we ran in. I have my own private practice today and I'm doing pretty well and Cindy isn't even in Philadelphia anymore from what I hear.

Both of my wives forgave me and continued to sleep with me for awhile....It was nothing for me to sleep with my ex wife, Sissy at lunch, Sleep with my other ex-wife, Corrine , near closing time,
Sleep with one of my clients, Alice Pinkston the next day and then a Real Estate agent I once worked with named Bonita Turner the day after that and then a funeral director named Vonetta
Anderson another day who helped me over my greif with Marjorie, a woman I met and bedded who died in the bed with me after giving me the best sex I'd ever had....It just seemed as though I could never get enough and never ran out of women willing to give me what I craved....

I told all of this to the focus group at the sex rehab I was in....There was a disgraced golfer , whose wife had smashed the windows of his SUV, when she caught him in their home with 16 women in their bedroom. There was the President of a huge corporation, USA interests Inc. that was caught with his young secretary, giving him a blow job in his office while he dined on pizza and smoked cigars....and then there was the Married Football player who was at the clinic with his injured leg in a whirlpool, while his therapist, a comely and buxom blonde was in the whirlpool with him giving him the ride of his life... He bought his wife a brand new Jaguar...She demanded instead that he join this sex rehab forum.

All of us had a story and all of us were spilling our guts out while a moderator, a pretty brown skinned woman who wore her hair in a bun and wore thick coke bottle glasses sat in the middle and guided the discussion. Her name was Tracy, Dr. Tracy Luckette. She was wearing a short skirt and she had shapely legs like I liked and nice full hips....She had a great shape and there was no denying she had a great body up under that business suit and that lab jacket that she wore. I tried to avert my eyes , but I know she caught me checking her out a few times.

Look at me..Here I was in Sex Rehab and here I was checking out the therapist...I was pathetic. If I ever wanted to be whole again...Have a real relationship...Like Kevin and Sepia...Chess and Rell, Sean and Sheila, my fellow attorney, Conrad and his wife, Jill....Former playboy jock, Cock Robbins and his lovely wife...I had to get over my addiction....but I couldn't get over my attraction to Dr. Luckette.

It was funny, but I kept getting the feeling that she was checking me out too...I think I caught her staring at the erection I was trying to hide...while we talked..I wonder if the other guys were checking her out and thinking what I was thinking? Sure they were..They were like me..sex addicts.

The Session for that day ended and I was heading for the lobby when I saw Dr. Luckette. I decided to strike up a conversation.

"Dr. Luckette? or can I call you Tracy?" I said trying to slyly break the ice.

"You can refer to me as Dr. Luckette." she said in a no nonsense way.

"Uh, I just wanted to say I really enjoyed the two sessions you've had and I'm really starting to learn some things about myself. I have a copy of your book "Self Actualization and the Sexual
being." and I would like to discuss some chapters with you over some coffee and perhaps a scoop of ice cream. I know a really nice coffee shop a few blocks from here." I said.

"I'm sure you would and I bet you do , but you know I can't do that, don't you Mr. Foxworth." she said.

"An innocent cup of coffee and a scoop of ice cream couldn't hurt anybody ." I said.

"Come on counselor....You're trying to pick me up....This is sex rehab......I'm not stupid...You think you're the first guy to ask me out?....See, this is your problem...You see a woman and the first thing you want to do is take her to bed...You've got to focus...Stop thinking about sex.." she said with a smile. "Start thinking of women as human beings and not notches on your bedpost."

"Yeah, you're right.... In a sense...but you got me all wrong doc...I have no notches on my bed post." I said.

"Okay Mr. Foxworth... but you've got about six women keeping you busy...." she laughed. I wondered if she was just making a statement or if she was asking?

"No, not really....My ex wife Corrine is getting married and she's stopped coming around...My ex
wife, Sissy has just stopped sleeping with me period..She says it's not right..She suggested I come to these sessions....Alice is involved with some guy, so I don't see her anymore and Bonita
and Vonetta are very busy." I said.

"Oh My word.....Listen to that list of women....I've got to cool that thing of yours off." she said as
she pretended to fan my crotch area...She had a nice sense of humor...I liked this.

"Okay...Okay Doc...I get it....Nothin happening.." I said.

"Good....I hope that doesn't stop you from coming back to the next session....I really would like to help you Mr. Foxworth." she said and offered her hand for me to shake.

"Come on ,I don't shake women's hands....Can I get a hug instead?" I laughed.

"Ohhhh, you are impossible Mr. Foxworth. No you can't , Now come on..I want you to take these sessions seriously" she laughed.

"Okay...Okay.....I'm sorry." I said and shook her hand....I wasn't sure, but I thought I felt her shiver or shudder a little..It was probably my imagination.

"So I'll see you at the next session Mr. Foxworth?" she asked.

''Call me Robert." I said.

"No, It's Mr. Foxworth." she said.

"Ohhh alright..you drive a hard bargain." I said.
"I'm a professional Mr. Foxworth." she said.
"So am I...I mean..I'm a lawyer...uh an Attorney....that's, that's uh a profession." I said.

She smiled shook her head and walked away...I stood there staring at her as she walked down the hall, wanting her more than ever...It was clear that Sex rehab was going to be hard for me under these conditions. I walked down the street to the coffee shop and ordered a cup of coffee
and two scoops of Vanilla Bean Ice cream.

(To Be Continued....)

18 comments:

Toni said...

OMG, Robert Foxworth in Sex Rehab!!!That alone is going to make me hang on to your every word!

Sean said...

You are too much man ROTFLMAO!

Angie B. said...

Keith, Are you for real??? I gotta see the next installments...You are off the chain with this. LOL

James Perkins said...

I am just laughing at the entire premise of this ....The biggest hound in your universe in sex rehab?? The only thing funnier would be if Reverend Struthers wound up there too! lol

Grover Tha Playboy said...

Robert Is my favorite charactor, say it aint so? LMAO!!!

Brenda said...

I'm bettin he'll have Dr. Luckette in the sack by the third installment of this...Maybe the next installment.LOL!

Cheryl said...

Okay,let me get this straight..You have resident Attorney and sex addict,Robert Foxworth in sex rehab and he's got the hots for his therapist....Only you Keith, Only you!LOL, I think I'm going to enjoy this immensely.

Lisa said...

Just the idea of this story is too funny for words...I can't wait to see what happens next.

Vanessa said...

This is too crazy, I can't wait to see what happens next!

Halo said...

ROTFLMAO! I love this concept...This is going to be a great storyline.

Sunflower said...

I can see panties being tossed at you in coming stories...lololol..

Tate2 said...

Oh lawd...Robert is going to have that Therapist in the sack, you know it and I know it...This is gonna be a trip!LOL

Simon Bastion said...

Incredible concept man!

Jazzy said...

I like this...interesting concept.

Swaggie said...

Never a dull moment with you bruh!

Captain Jack said...

This title is Hawttttt!!! Okayyy???

Anonymous II said...

Great concept....Someone will be standing and applauding and tossing their drawers up in the sky or out the window soon.

Brenda said...

@Anonymous II - LOL, You know that's the truth...