That Sinking Feeling

"Everybody does whatever it is they do until they hit rock bottom..Whatever is rock bottom for one person might not be rock bottom for another, but until they hit their personal rock bottom..No amount of therapy is going to help them." said Brooke Taylor, the sexy little number that was currently playing the Guitar at Josie's this month.

I couldn't believe that she had let me take her out after all of the shenanigans she had witnessed going on in Josie's between me and Dr. Tracy Luckette, my former sex rehab therapist who was now revealing herself to be both an alcoholic and a nymphomaniac. I had sat in Josie's on one of the rare nights that she didn't come in and had listened to Brooke's band play two sets. I offered to buy her a drink..She refused. Then I asked her if I could take her down the street after her last set for a cup of coffee and some ice cream. To my delight and utter surprise..she accepted.

We drank two tumblers of coffee and had two big bowls of ice cream and we just, talked. She was the first pretty woman in years that I could recall just talking to and not having a side plot of
getting in her pants afterwards. Don't get me wrong..I would love to get in Brookes pants..but unlike before ,it was not an all consuming priority. There was no smart remarks, no come ons, none of that..We just talked.

I told her about my two failed marriages and my battles with Cindy Waters and my other women..I told her about the sex rehab and how Tracy had turned out to be more than what I bargained for. Brooke talked about how guilty she still felt about getting drunk that night and hitting and killing that woman with her car.

This was our second "date" ...I met her at her place and took her to a nice Thai Restaraunt that Chess and Kevin had told me about. The food was off the chain and the cool sounds of Coltrane and Dizzy Gillespie and Miles Davis played in the background. Who says that Philly doesn't have some classy joints?

"My rock bottom was when I killed that woman......I was so drunk and so high that I didn't even remember them using the jaws of life to get me out the car....I don't remember nothing...I sat in that courtroom in a daze and when the judge gave me eight years....I didn't wince...I wanted to die. I survived...and slowly..very slowly, I began to realize that my addictions is what brought me to that point that sinking feeling....I didn't go to therapy or one session in the joint." said Brooke.

"No? And they still paroled you? I asked.

"Yeah...I kept my nose clean...learned how to play chess....got pretty good at it....and when I wasn't playing Chess...I was playing my guitar in my cell. I haven't touched a cigarette, any alcohol or any drugs since I went to jail. That's why I refused your offer to buy me a drink."
she said.

"Wow..that's some story." I said.

"Didn't need no therapy to get on drugs...or to drink and didn't use none to get off...I stopped when I got ready." she said.

She felt the way I felt about those rehab sessions...I'm sure some are good ..but now of days everybody has a rehab for every thing. I just felt it was a racket. A week ago ,I had a client in my office and Tracy came by my office...She was drunk!! In the middle of the day...I told her that I had a client and that I'd talk to her in a minute...

"Roberrtttttttt....I'm not wearing any panties!!!!!" she yells out... My client, A Black man, gave me a sheepish look and winked- "Handle yo business bruh....I can come back!" I was not amused at all...And this was a different me...I wasn't turned on and looked at Tracy now in a completely different light...She was a mess....She was attractive to me when she was my Therapist and was serious and no nonsense....Not a drunk ,sex crazed looney....Half the time now, her hair wasn't made up...her clothes were wrinkled and she was on the verge of collapse...
I didn't know what to make of her....For about a week I had been keeping my distance.

Brooke on the other hand was different. We finished eating..I paid the tab and we walked out to my car...I drove her to her house. I got out and walked her to the door...I sat on the steps with
her..We talked until well after two in the morning...A first for me....Talking this late to a woman..
by now, panties and bras would be flung across the room and some serious lovemaking would be going on.

"Well Counselor...It has been nice....but a girl has got to get her beauty rest...You comin in?" she said.

And here was my cue, but surprisingly I said-

"Maybe some other time.....I enjoyed myself tonight and last week just talking to you..that was
nice." I said...

"It was nice...Sure you don't want to stay? It is late....Last time I'm going to ask" She said.

Hell, I'm no fool.......Once inside , we wasted no time getting undressed, getting into bed and each
other...We kissed each other slow, yet hungrily......I buried my tongue into her mouth..Her lips were surprisingly as soft as butter and when I finnally entered her...I found that to be warm and wonderful too....She wrapped her legs around my back and I just drilled myself into her....

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Robert,I've needed this soooo muchhhh baby...ohhhhhhhhhh..." she moaned.

Eventually ,she wound up on top ,bouncing up and down like crazy. I nearly went deaf when she screamed out in pleasure as she climaxed......and it wasn't too long before I was there myself...

We held each other that entire night in bed. It was some of the most peaceful sleep I'd had in awhile....

Epilouge-

Dr.Tracy Luckette did step down as the Therapist at the Sexual rehab clinic. She entered AA and has quit drinking...I haven't seen her in awhile, but I hear she is doing well. I didn't see Brooke again after that night...Her band got a gig on the West Coast and she's presently out there now...

Me? I'm not seeing anybody.....I'm going cold turkey on sex all by myself for the time being...perhaps I've experienced that sinking feeling..perhaps I've hit my own rock bottom.