Nothing's Funny

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"Yeah and?  So was a lot of people." said Donavan.

 SUNDAY NIGHT-

A Dive Bar in the Little Norway section of the city... A strange place to find a Black man with a Pony Tail..

He was a big guy...taller than me and built.. The perfect type of guy to collect money from someone..

I sat next to him... I ordered two beers..

I slid one beer down to him to replace the beer he'd just finished.. He looked at me like I was crazy,popped the cap off of his beer and begam drinking, just as I did.

''Donavan....Donavan Reed right?" I said.

"You a cop?" he asked... "You dress a lot better than most cops I know." he said, eying my tailored suit and my expensive shoes..

''I used to be.. I was a Homicide Detective....Now I'm a Private Investigator..I work for Attorneys...Attorneys who are representing Karen Walker, the comedian accused of murdering

Mouthy Malloy...I know for a fact that you were at that Supper Club that night.." I said.

"I know that Mouthy Malloy was into your employer 200 large for unpaid gambling debts and he'd only paid you 5 large to date... Sergi Plutinsky....That's who you work for isn't it? A Russian who plays poker at Eddie Lee's joint in Chinatown right?" I asked..

"Let's talk outside " he said.

I plunked down a couple of bucks to pay the bill and followed him outside.. he was a head taller than me, and had a muscular , athletic build...I imagine he could be quite a polarizing figure to someone who owed money to anybody....

We walked outside and he punched me in the jaw, knocking me into a row of trash cans....Then he hit me in the stomach and in my side... I felt pain like I'd never felt before..

"I don't answer questions..." he said...Before he could swing again...

I blocked his punch and slugged him hard in his stomach..

"OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFFFFFF!" he moaned...

I landed 17 lefts and 17 rights to his face, pummelling him and sending him spinning..

He was a boxer  and he could handle himself.. he landed six lefts and six rights to my face and a punishing right to my stomach..

I countered with another 10 lefts and 10 rights to his face.. He spun like a top and went crashing to the sidewalk... Both of his eyes were swollen shut...His face was swollen...His lip was bleeding and his nose was bleeding.. He got to his feet and charged me again...

I landed 17 more lefts and 17 more rights to his face...I punched him in his stomach and put his arm behind him and slammed his head into a car several times before he collapsed...

I dragged his body to the door of the bar and slung him through the door....

The patrons were surprised to see him fall to the floor and even more surprised to see his face..horribly swollen, his eyes blackened and nearly closed and his nose and lip bleeding..

I slung him into a booth...

I ordered the bartender to get him a cold towel for his nose and lip...

I pulled out my .38 smokeless and stuck it in his crotch.....under the table so no one could see it..

"Alright, now cut the crap...or you'll be singing soprano the rest of your life....if you sing at all.. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?" I snarled.

"YES...YESSSSSSSSSS DON'T HIT ME NO MORE!!! PLEASE!!!" he pleaded in a very high voice..

All of a sudden his swagger was gone..

"Now where were we? THAT NIGHT IN THE SUPPER CLUB!" I said.

"I was there...I was there... I was there to collect... Sergi wanted me to bust him up....but like you said..He had given me 5g's and I knew he was cleaning up and he'd be good for it...So I left..I told him I'd be back Friday....I didn't lay a hand on him, I swear....I went and got me a late night grub, gassed my car up and left...I swear...I didn't kill  him!!! Why would I?  " said Donovan Reid.

I put my gun away...I smiled... 

"Now see how easy that was Donny Boy? That's all you had to tell me.. We could've avoided all of this..

And I bought you a beer..." I said.. I got up and left..

The Denizens of the bar couldn't believe I had tied fire to him... They shook their heads.. He was embarrassed and terrified.. He slinked back to his apartment and kept a low profile the rest of the week until the swelling in his face went down..

MONDAY MORNING- Courtroom C

Olivia and Beverly stood in court with Karen Walker, our client, charged with capital murder in the death of Comedian, Mouthy Malloy...  Nelson, Josie , Bresha and I stood with her also...

It was a media circus outside...With Press everywhere and irate fans calling for Karen's death....It was all over the news that she had been on trial years before (and been acquitted of) killing another heckler..They failed to mention that the real killer was exposed and convicted of the crime.. The Public as it is wont to do followed the narrative that she was a horrible comedian who murders hecklers...

The late night comedians were having a feild day with the story, getting many laughs and playing her act over and over again....

Naturally, it was all over social media..

Olivia and her team were refferred to as" Legal Svengolis" , who had got many a seemingly guilty person off , but would be hard pressed to get their client off this time due to a bloody Tequilla Bottle with the defendent's fingerprints and DNA discovered at the scene... This information supplied by our own "Celebrity Detective"

Lt. Arthur Tragg, who cared nothing about due process or a fair trial..he cared about being photographed and interviewed... Naturally, every hair was in place...He was heavily made up, mani and pedicured, Had on an expensive, tailored Italian Suit and very expensive shoes.. He was from right out of Central Casting.. The Homicide Detective who made the arrest.

Judge Michael King was presiding, A good Judge, Tough but fair...but like Lt. Tragg, He enjoyed the spotlight.... Naturally, just like Lt. Tragg,  every hair was in place...He was heavily made up, mani and pedicured, Had on an expensive, tailored Italian Suit and very expensive shoes.. He too was from right out of Central Casting.. The Celebrity Judge....

The Assistant District Attorney was a new comer... Jill Jones, who had come over from the Cherry Hill District Attorney's office...She looked like she was straight out of Central Casting too..

"VA VA VA VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" said Lt. Tragg upon seeing her...

Olivia , Beverly and Nelson argued eloquently that Karen Walker was no killer...They talked about her work as an officer of the court, an attorney...Her community outreach and other laurels...They begged for bail..Fair Bail...

The new ADA argued that the defendent was indeed guilty of First Degree Murder of a "Beloved Comedian" and that she may have killed another heckler years before..and should be denied bail in case she tries to do her stand up act again and kills another heckler.." 

This drew roars of laughter from the spectators..

Olivia, Beverly and Nelson cried foul and noted that Beatrice Beasely aka Tangerine Joy Huggins was convicted of the murder and is still in the Blues Skies State Mental Facility...

Josie presented the fact that Karen Walker graciously defended her and got her that 10 year sentence in the State Mental Facility known as Blue Skies..

Bresha called up

our former client, Lonnie Dellums

Legal Ethics Board Judge, Jetty Dukes

Her husband, Tony Dellums, who formerly worked with Karen Walker

and our good friend, Lem...

 

and our friends, Dabnis Coley, Charles "Chip" Burrows and wife, Jessica Sanchez Burrows of the Innocence Project and our good friend, Karen Page of the Wrongful Conviction Unit.

All testified to working with Karen Walker and what a nice person she was....

Judge King set bail at $6000.00 dollars and demanded that Karen wear an Ankle monitoring device..

We all thought that this was a bit harsh...but we were in no position to argue..

Bresha passed the check to the bailiff who usually smiled and leered at her... Today was no different..

She smiled demurely as she passed him the check..

Karen was a free woman... After having been locked up since Friday...She was grateful to be out..

"Let's get you out of here and get you some breakfast." said Olivia.

as we managed our way through the crowd of paparazzi and press.

Lt. Tragg addressed the press..

"She's as guilty as hell....I've never seen a suspect more guilty in my life... She hired high powered attorneys Olivia and Beverly.....but even they aren't going to be able to save her from a needle." he proclaimed.

II-

We all got on the train and got out of Center City as soon as possible, Far from the press, paparazzi and Lt. Tragg.

and to the Bridge Building , with the safety of our friends and their cafeteria.

and some decent food ...

Our friends, who worked in the building had already made their way back....

"Liv, if you need to use our conference room after you've eaten...you're welcome... We have a meeting with our client at the County Lock Up...Virginia will help you."said Yvette..

''Awwww Thank You Vettie." said Olivia, hugging her long time friend..

"Thanks Ms. Yvette." said Beverly..

"Thanks Ms. Yvette." said Nelson.

"Thanks Ms. Yvette" said Josie.

"You know you're always welcome.. Mi Casa , Su Casa." said Yvette.

Bresha was glad to be with her husband, Tony..

She was sitting on his lap, kissing him...

''So this is your wife eh Tony? and your new building...Nice...She wasn't on the team last time I was in trouble....and Josie was in law school, a para-legal...Now she's a full fledged Attorney."said Karen..

''A lot has changed."said Josie.

''For some of us anyway."sighed Karen..

our friends, Keith, Bee Bee, Sofia and Kahlil joined us.

I sat with my fellow investigator, Jade.

"I know things are seldom what they seem Donnie Ray." she said.

"No they are not.. You were there..You saw her drinking out of that bottle...Like I did and it's got Blood, Brain matter and her fingerprints and DNA all over it...but I don't..I don't think she did this.." I said.

"I don't either...She was drunk, she was hurt, she was exhausted...but she was not in a murderous rage."said Jade.

"Then there is Mouthy Malloy...He made 1.5 million a piece for those two Netflix specials, plus he was pulling in 250 Large a night for his three appearences at that supper club...He had signed to do three more Netflix Specials and had a sitcom deal in the works...and yet, I can't find a penny of his money...anywhere.. He had something like $153.00 in the bank...His credit card was maxed out to the tune of 250K... He was about to foreclose on his Morgtage for 250K in back morgtage...His lawyer quit on him for non-payment and his wife was going to divorce him.....Add that to the fact that he was into a Russian Gambler named Sergi for 50 large... I'm saying a lot of people had reason to want to kill him...Beter reasons than being heckled in a comedy club."I said.

"You're right!" said Jade.

We walked upstairs to Yvette's Conference Room..

"You guys sit right in here....I'll get you some coffee and orange juice." said Virginia.

which she supplied us..

"Thank you." said Olivia as we all took our seats..

I spoke first..."There is the matter of Mouthy Malloy...He made 1.5 million a piece for those two Netflix specials, plus he was pulling in 250 Large a night for his three appearences at that supper club...He had signed to do three more Netflix Specials and had a sitcom deal in the works...and yet, I can't find a penny of his money...anywhere.. He had something like $153.00 in the bank...His credit card was maxed out to the tune of 250K... He was about to foreclose on his Morgtage for 250K in back morgtage...His lawyer quit on him for non-payment and his wife was going to divorce him.....Add that to the fact that he was into a Russian Gambler named Sergi for 50 large... I'm saying a lot of people had reason to want to kill him...Beter reasons than being heckled in a comedy club." I said. 

"I can't believe he was tapped out like that...He obviously wasn't paying his bills..I checked.. The electric company, the gas company, water and cable had all cut off everything in his house."said Nelson.

"All of that money didn't just vanish... He must have had a manager and an accountant he trusted to pay his bills and they obviously weren't..Maybe you need to check with his wife."said Beverly.. "She would know." she added.

''Always the wife." joked Olivia.

Bresha laughed...

"I didn't know anything about Malloy's financial status. we weren't clsoe..He was condescending ,sexist and frankly a bit rude... You may have found him funny, but you wouldn't have liked him if you had known him in person, trust me.."said Karen...

"I can believe that ." said Josie.

"After you left the ballroom what did you do? Tell me everything." said Olivia.

"I bought that bottle of Tequilla....As you saw ,I was doing shots..I downed half that bottle...I was pissy drunk...I took that bottle out with me.. I went in the ladies room..I put the bottle on the table by the sink. .When I came out of the stall...My bottle was gone.. I washed my hands..I was already drunk...I wasn't worried about it.. I figured I got my money's worth.  I left.. I hailed a cab...and it took me home....I never came back out after that , until I was being arrested by that jack ass Lt. Tragg hours later..That was the truth. I swear," she said.

"I believe you....All I have to do is locate the cab and the cabbie." I said.

''Do you have a boyfriend or a friend you can stay with? If not register into a hotel..Use your own name..and take this...It's a Porta..We will communicate with you and you can communicate with us through this." said Beverly.

"This is a burner phone...Take it , write down this number....Don't call our business phone or our personal numbers..You contact us through this number and on this phone."said Nelson.

as he and Beverly passed her the Portal and the phone.

"I want to thank you for this...all of you...I can't believe we are going through this again...Thank you all again." said Karen as she left the building..

"You take care...Get some rest." said Olivia.

Josie watched as she left ...She turned to Olivia.

"You think she'll be alright?" she asked.

"Oh yeah, after a quiet good night's sleep in her own bed and a hot shower...she'll be just fine." said Olivia.

"Yeah, I agree, now that she's had some decent food...All of that will go a long way to settling her down." said Bresha.

''Hopefully she won't hit the bottle." said Beverly.

"Yeah....Hope springs eternal." said Nelson, still feeling a tinge of sympathy for her.

We took the train too,  a little while later , back to our  office /duplex.

It had been a long day... Nothing was funny!

III-

End of a long day....Olivia and I sat on the couch in our living room...

Kissing a lot...

"You know...I spoke to the Attorney at her firm that used to be involved with her...He didn't want to testify or have anything to do with this... If I recall.. he is the one who gave Tony Billips those tickets to take Bresha

 on their first date and said that Karen was hillarious... Karen told me that she used to try her act out on him and it used to break him up...Have him in stitches." I said 

"Oh Donnie Ray, he was lying.. Guys will tell you anything to get in the panties..."said Olivia.

''Is that a fact..." I asked.

"It's a fact." she whispered...

"What do I have to say to get into yours?" I asked, laughing..

"You have to ask me that after all these years of marriage? Just ask me...We are married." she said..

I undressed her and she undressed me...

right there on the couch....

and before we knew it... We were on the floor!

We were soon making sweet love on the floor...

"OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.......OHHHHHHH MY GODDDDDDDDDD!!! WE 

ARE MARRIED!" she proclaimed.

"YESSSSSS LAWDDDDDD, YES INDEED!" I moaned..

Olivia giggled..

"Oh hush up nasty mannnnnnnnn!" she said.

We somehow made it to the kitchen...

I had her bent over the sink...

"OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU HUSBAND!!" she cooed..

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OLIVIA." I moaned..

I didn't know if I was coming or going at this point..

We continued kissing passionately...

"You didn't ask me." she joked..

"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmph, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." I moaned.

"I've been letting you in since the night we first met.." she whispered...

"I love you!" I said.

"I love you too!" she whispered in between more kisses..

I lifted her up

"OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" she moaned.

"AWWWWWWWWWW LAWD GIRL!" I said

"OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! WOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" she cooed.

As I parted her legs and entered her again as she sat on the dresser drawer in our bedroom...

"OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU HUSBAND!!" she cooed..

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OLIVIA." I moaned..

She moved up and down on me on the side of the bed....

She rode me slowly and quietly like a surfer rides the waves...

We made love slowly and passionately for the next EIGHT TO NINE HOURS!

ending with Olivia falling sound asleep on my chest....

The next morning...

"You know...My lease is up soon.. I'm thinking about finding a place, an apartment close to here...Like Maybe those apartments where Victoria lives.."said Alfreda.

"There might be some even closer..." I said.

"I'll talk to Sepia Morris." said Olivia..

We had pancakes, sausage, Eggs to order, Bacon, Hash Browns, Orange Juice and Coffee.....

 

"Working here is like a dream come true." said Bresha as her plate was put in front of her.

"Well we are glad you like it." said Josie jokingly, who looked over at Nelson and Beverly, who were kissing passionately...

"Come up for air you two...I'm jealous.. My husband went to work." she said.

Nelson and Beverly had been kissing for a long time..

"Don't Hate!" joked Beverly as she finally did stop kissing her husband and sat in her chair as her breakfast was put in front of her.

"I've told you Nelson, you can't have my Neicey Poo...She's mine and Alfreda's." joked Olivia.

Alfreda howled with laughter and joined us at the table.

"I've got to find out where Mouthy's money is or went..." I said.

"Talk to his wife." said Alfreda.

''Always the wife." joked Olivia.

IV-

Like all of the Assistant District Attorneys who were going up against her for the first time..

New  Assistant District Attorney Jill Jones was busy doing her research on us.. She had dossiers on us on her desk..

  

Olivia Marissa Bennett-Alexander

Graduated , Philadelphia High School for Girls

B.A. Administration of Justice, Pre-Law, Trial Advocacy -Temple University..

J.D.-University of Pennsylvania Law School

Passed the Bar, Pennsylvania, New York, New Jersey, Deleware, Texas, California

 Speaks French and Spanish Fluently...

Worked as a Public Defender, 

Worked for Bach and Roach LLC, as Associate Attorney

Founding partner-Alexander & West , Attorneys at law..

Divorced- Elwood Barnes..,Corporate Attorney 

No Children, two miscarriages..

Married-Donnie Ray Alexander

Beverly Cheryl West-East

Graduated , Philadelphia High School for Girls

B.A. Administration of Justice, Pre-Law-Trial Advocay, Temple University..

J.D.-University of Pennsylvania Law School

Passed the Bar, Pennsylvania, New York, New Jersey, Deleware, Texas, California

 Speaks French and Spanish Fluently...

Worked as a Public Defender,

 Founding Partner-Alexander & West Attorney's at Law.

Daughter of Olivia's Older Half Brother, James West... Olivia's Niece

Married to Nelson East.

Nelson Sean East

Graduated, West Catholic High School-Philadelphia PA.

B.A. Administration of Justice, Pre-Law- St. Johns University, New York City
Psychology Minor...

J.D. -St. Johns Univeristy Law School, New York City..

Passed The Bar , New York, Pennsylvania, Deleware, New Jersey, Texas, California 

Speaks Spanish , French and Russian Fluently...

Worked as Public Defender, 

 Associate Attorney at Robert Foxworth and Associates.

Associate Attorney at Alexander and West , Attorneys at law.

Married to Beverly West

Donnie Ray Alexander

Born and Raised in New Orleans, Louisiana.

Educated in New Orleans Public Schools..

Associates Degree- New Orleans Community College-Administration of Justice, Pre Law

Homicide Detective, New Orleans Police Department, Retired.

Principal Investigator, Alexander and West Attorneys at law-Philadelphia PA.

Married to Olivia Bennett

Also a semi-professional musician

Josephine Boyd

Born in Philadelphia PA.

Raised in Red Hook Section of New York City 

Bachelors of Science, Architecture from Fisk University

Master in Business Administration- University of Pennsylvania.

Para -Legal -Alexander & West Attorneys at law.

JD- Drexel  University Law School..

Passed the Bar in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Deleware, New York, Texas, California

Associate Attorney-Alexander & West, Attorneys at Law, Philadelphia.

Married to Paris Boyd

Bresha Billips

Graduated from Philadelphia High School For Girls

B.A. Administration of Justice,/ Trial advocacy /Pre Law- Lasalle University, Philadelphia PA.

J.D.- Middleton Law School, Bayside ,Pennsylvania.

Passed the bar, Pennsylvania, Deleware, New Jersey, New York

Speaks Spanish and French Fluently...

Associate Attorney at Alexander and West , Attorneys at law...

Married to Attorney Tony Billips

''Wow! Olivia is only a little older than me, maybe two years and she's already got her own law practice

and a staff of four additional attorneys(that includes her niece and her niece's husband) and an in house investigator... (her husband) and two additional attorneys...I'm quite impressed." she said.

And at our office....

In our conference room

Nelson, Beverly and Bresha were communicating with Karen Walker through the Portal..

Olivia and I and Josie were looking at a dossier on our Assistant District Attorney

JILL  JONES

Born in Cherry Hill, New Jersey

Graduated from Gloucester Catholic High School

BA- Pre Law/ Trial Advocacy /Administration of Justice- Rutgers University

JD- Rutgers School of Law

Passed the Bar in New Jersey/Pennsylvania/New York/ Deleware

Fluent in French and Spanish

Public Defender, Camden , New Jersey

Assistant District Attorney, Camden , New Jersey

Senior Associate Attorney-Dockett & White

Senior Associate Attorney- Gray, McBuren and Vandenberg

Former Vice President of the South Jersey Bar Association

Assistant District Attorney, Philadelphia, PA.

Olivia smiled..

"Not bad, not bad.. No dummy." she said.

"Not bad ,Not bad at all...You think she's checking us out too?" asked Josie.

"Oh Most definitely...She probably knows all about us.." said Olivia.

"Josie my dear...that's how this game is played...Information is the most important commodity." I said.

As this baffling case involving two comedians began...Only thing was...despite it being about two comedians.. Nothing was funny!

(TO BE CONTINUED)