Woman Without A Country

 I had gone with Minay to retrieve her late uncle's body from the Hospice....Toney Marley was there..She smiled when she saw us together and kind of gave me the thumbs up!

"I see you two found each other." she whispered to me ,out in the hallway."

''Well yeah for a night and then this happened." I said.

"It's a shame...but I knew if Minay was any kind of woman, she wouldn't leave a real man like you behind." she said.

I smiled weakly.

Her uncle's remains were cremated immediately  after the memorial service and his ashes were sprinkled out on the Thames River...The way he had requested...A group of about 23 people, which consisted of relatives and close friends accompanied us to the bridge where a prayer was said and the ashes were softly ,slowly sprinkled about.

"Thank you so much for coming." said Minay.

"Oh don't mention it." I said.

"Ralph...you're so sweet, so nice..." she said and began to cry again...

I noticed that Luther was nowhere to be seen..

I smiled ruefully.....

Minay, Myself, Her cousins and the other mourners, Including Toney Marley all walked across the bridge and back into the streets...We all talked amongst ourselves....

I saw the car from the corner of my eyes...It was afternoon....I saw the headlights suddenly go off and the car speed up...I still wasn't thinking...

Then the car speeded up and headed towards us....In a half second your life can suddenly be changed forever.... I saw a man!! A man I recognized as Wally, the fat fellow I had beat up a few nights before at the wheel....In the UK, the wheel is on the opposite side!  The window came down and LUTHER had a .45 pointed dead at us!!!

"DIE WANKER DIE!!!" he yelled...

It all happened in slow motion....Toney Marley dove into me like a football player making a tackle...She knocked me and Minay to the ground....as four shots rang out!!!  They missed all of us thank God...But Luther and Wally weren't so lucky...

Their car spun wildly out of control.... A hubcap flew off of one of the tires...Luther tried to get another shot off, but couldn't steady himself enough to get a good aim....

"Luther you missed em..." said Wally..

"I know I missed them, I don't need you to tell me that...You were driving too bloody fast you big dummy!" he said.

"Too fast, what? How bout maybe you can't hit the side of a bloody barn? Did you want us to get caught or worse seen?? You're the big dummy." said Wally.

"NO..YOU'RE THE BIG DUMMY!" he screamed...

"NO!! YOU'RE THE BIG DUMMY AND A NON-SHOOTING ONE AT THAT!" screamed Wally...

"I'LL GIVE YOU A SHOT IN YOUR BLOODY FAT HEAD HOW BOUT THAT?"
screamed Luther.

"TRY IT YA WANKER!" screamed Wally.

A Milk truck was headed in their direction..... at top speed!!!!!

"WALLY, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD YOU BIG DUMMY!" screamed Luther...

"I'm tired of you calling me names...I AM NOT a BIG DUMMY!,I  am as smart as the next wanker.ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!" screamed Wally....trying feverishly to slam the brakes on....

"ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!You BIG DUMMY ,YOU'RE GOING TO GET US KILLLLLLLLLLLLLLED..ARGGHHHHHHHHH" screamed Luther as the car careened and slammed into the side of the milk truck which slid as it braked and hit the car they were in, causing it to really spin wildly!

Their car swerved  and went off the side of the road.....

"Luther!!! The brakes aren't working!!!" said Wally..

"Did you get this car looked at like I told you?" screamed Luther..

"No, I forgot!!!" said Wally....

"This is another fine mess you've gotten me into...First you get me beat up, now this....AWWWWW Wally ,you're incredible!" yelled Luther!

The car went off the side of the road, Down, Down...Down into the Thames River, where it exploded on impact with the water!!!!

The crowd was astounded!!!

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.." came gasps from everybody!

Toney Marley, Minay and I all looked over the side.....There was no way that either of these two could have survived that....What a way to go!

II-

"This car should have been checked out a long time ago....The brakes were faulty and the gas valves were faulty as well...Plus this is an old beater anyway." said a policeman as the car was pulled out of the river.

I shielded Toney and Minay's eyes as the charred bodies of Luther and Wally were pulled out of the wreckage and carted away....

''Wow Toney...I owe you my life...Thank you." I said.

"Don't mention it...I had a feeling those two were going to try something...They were bullies and they couldn't take someone givin them what for....I had a feelin they were going to try and save face...They won't terrorize anybody else ever again." she said.

"Thank you so much....You were my uncle's hospice nurse right?" asked Minay...

"Yes..I was..I am so sorry for your loss." she said.

"This is my....my...boyfriend from the states...Ralph Scallion." said Minay.

"Yes...we met once before I believe." said Toney and looked at me with a half smile.

She has got to be one of the coolest broads I ever met.

III-

The next morning I stopped by Minay's flat....Well actually her cousin's flat...This is where she was staying since Luther had put her out...I had my one suitcase with me...Her cousin didn't say a word to me, just kept reading the morning paper the entire time.

"So, you're all packed huh?" she said.

"Yeah...I do have a job I have to get back to." I said.

"Wow...some vacation...You come over here, get into a bar room brawl, go to a funeral and almost get killed....I'm so sorry...I wish we could have been together and had some real fun...I'm so sorry." said Minay.

"Hey...it was an adventure...Better than most times I've had when away." I said.

"Some adventure." she said.

"Minay?" I asked.

"Yes."she said.

"You uh introduced me as uh, your boyfriend....Is that still true or uh were you just saying that?" I asked.

"You mean after all of this, you'd still want to have anything to do with me?" she said.

"I'm here aren't I?" I said.

"I'm afraid I'm a woman without a country....Not suited for anywhere" was all she'd said.

"Well...If you ever change your mind...You know where I live, you know my phone number and uh...I hear that Cherry Johnson hasn't filled your spot at Victoria's Secret yet." I said and winked and then walked outside to my cab.

I really wanted to say goodbye to Toney Marley too...She had given me mind blowing sex and had saved my life...She had really made this trip worthwhile for me....But I had a feeling that it was better if I just keep going...

The cabbie drove me to the airport~! So Long U.K.! 

EPILOUGE:

It was good to be back in Philly, Cooking at the Bottom of the C. and hanging out.... That Friday Night, I went to Josies and knocked back a few brews with Kevin, his wife Sepia ,Clerow and his wife Corrie...
Reed Nelson and his wife Debbie was there and Mabel Jenkins and 88 were there too...To my surprise, Downtown Rob Brown and his quintet was playing that night...

Roscoe was there with Cherry Johnson....They were sitting at a small table talking...

"Damn Cherry, I really wanted that Loft...It would've been perfect." he said.

"Oh well...It's not like the sale was complete...You know us women...we change our minds." she said.

"Yeah,yall sure do!" He said.

He laughed and they sipped their drinks....

I headed towards the men's room at the end of the set....Downtown Rob Brown saw me in the hallway...

''Wow...you gets around...In London one day, here in Philly the next." he laughed.

"Hey man..How long you been back?" I said.

"A week, when did you get back?" he asked.

"Monday." I said.

''Layin low?"he asked.

"Yeah, workin..." I said.

"Any luck uh with your uh situation?" he asked.

"A little, but in the end...Not enough." I said.

"Well don't sweat it man...Luck, like broads comes and goes...Be easy baby!" he said.

''Always " I said.

Cherry Johnson walked up to me  a little later...

"Well I know you're happy." she said.

''Happy? Happy about what?" I said.

"Your girl is back!" she said.

''Huh? What are you talking about?" I said.

"She took her loft off the market...and she called me a few days ago and asked for her job back.She starts Monday." she said.

''What?" I said...

"You haven't seen her? She over there talkin to Kev and Sepia?" she said and smiled.

There was Minay,with a new hairstyle and  wearing the tightest sexiest mini dress ever standing there talking to Sepia and Kevin.... I walked over to where they were standing...

"And speaking of my boyfriend....there he is now!" she laughed.

"When did you get back?" I asked.

"Yesterday.....It felt good to sleep in my own loft....." she said.

"Wow...you look great!" I said.

"Why thank you." she said.

"I heard you start back to work on Monday." I said.

"Yup..." she said.

''Still a woman without a country?"I asked.

"No...this is my country now...Kevin is going to help me get my citizenship papers soon....This is where I belong...Here with you." she said.  She reached in her purse and handed me something...A set of keys...

"What's this?" I asked.

"Yours...These are the keys to my place...." she said.

"Wow...That's big." I said.

"Awwww, aint that sweet...This calls for a celebration." said Kevin's wife, Sepia....

"Gus...Can these two have whatever drinks they want.?.It's on me." said Kevin...

"Sure....If you payin..They drinkin." laughed Gus...

Minay kissed me long and hard....She slyly felt the front of my trousers...

"My goodness Ralph...You get hard at the drop of a bloody dime." she whispered in my ear..."But I like it..." she continued and rubbed it again, smiling and nearly blushing! I smiled sheepishly...Life was good...My woman was back...I had a key to her spot, She had her job back....Everything was gravy!

That night after some spirited and I do mean spirted lovemaking.....

We both slept the most peaceful sleep we'd had in months.....Minay might not make it to work come Monday!!!!



(For L.)