"Derek ,I'm so sick of you and your whores....but most of all,I'm tired of all of your lame excuses.....Just make sure my child support is paid on time." said the young woman.
"I aint gone pay a got-damn thing til you swab that baby's mouth and get the DNA test done, so I know it's mine." said Derek.
"It's yours alright...unlike your other trollips and tarts, I was only sleepin with your dumb ass." snapped the young woman..
"That aint what I heard.." said Derek...
"Forget you...." she said.
"Forget you tooo." she yelled.....
"I WOULD LIKE TO FORGET BOTH OF YOU.....IT'S THREE IN THE MORNIN,
I'M TRYIN TO SLEEP..SHUT UP THE NOISE.!!!!" bellowed my next door neighbor.
"Nigga ,who you think you talkin to...you shut up!" screamed Derek...
"Yeah, you shut up...don't be talkin to my man like that!" screamed the girl.
"I'M TALKIN TO BOTH OF YOUSE..NOW SHUT UP THE NOISE...DON'T MAKE ME COME OUT THERE." yelled my neighbor.
"Well come on wit it then sucka." yelled Derek.
Lois was laying in my bed with me giggling her head off...
"I remember him the last time I was here...he sure is uptight." she laughed as she snuggled up next to me....We kissed again.....We had been doing nothing but kissing and snuggling most of the night.. Lois was going to have my baby in about five months ,I still hadn't decided just what I was going to do..
"He needs a girlfriend...some good lovin would take the edge off of him." I said with a laugh...
"I bet you're never edgy are you?" asked Lois with a slight grin..
"Come again?" I asked.
"Anybody that is packing like you packin and as slick talkin as you are probably gets his share of good lovin. I'm not naive Ralph...I wasn't the first woman you brought up here and I probably wasn't the last..." she said. She was right!
"Lois...Tell me about your kids, your..uh other kids.." I said.
"I have a son...He's 9...I have two daughters....one is 5 and the other is 3...They were all by my late husband...They're staying with my mother in Patterson." she said.
"Your mother know about this?" I asked.
"Yeah...she wasn't too happy about it...neither was my dad...but I'm grown, what can they say?" she said and leaned over and gave me a long slow kiss....She rubbed my now raging erection....
"Ohhhhhh, if I wasn't pregnant like this...I'd take care of that..." she cooed..She rubbed my back softly...
"Try to calm down." she said.
"Aint no way I can calm down with you in my bed ,practically naked....Pregnant or not." I said.
"Awww, I turn you on like that?" she said.
I laughed.
"Lois...I got a 21 year old daughter." I said.
"Ex-Wife?" she asked.
"No...I've never been married..It's from a girl I knew years ago...I hadn't seen her in 21 years....I just found out two days ago...She's divorced and she lives here in Philly now...she said that the girl wanted to know who her biological father was,so she brought her to see me." I said.
"You sure it's yours?" she asked.
"She's mine...I'm certain of that much..." I said.
"Wow, 21 eh? You missed her entire life." said Lois, who kissed me again for a long while.
"Yeah, I know...but I don't want to miss this one...If you moved to Philly..I'd set you up with a place...I-" I said before she stopped me.
"Hold up Ralphie...Baby, sweetheart....I'm in the business of moving out of Patterson now....My husband was a bad man....He killed people for a living..He made a lot of money....He left me well over a million dollars in an offshore account before he died..plus other money I found hidden in the house after his death...I just bought a house for me and my children in Teaneck, New Jersey..." she said.
"Okay....but I want to have a part in this child's life....I know you don't need it, but I'd feel better if you allow me to give you child support for this one." I said.
"Wow...you are sooooo sweet...You're not like most guys...Most guys would be glad that they were absolved from all responsibility." she said.
"Yeah and they'd probably sound like those two outside ...That aint me...I laid down with you and made this child...Had a great damn time makin it too, I must say...And I'm willing to send you some child support...." I said.
"Awwwww, you are somethin else.." she said... She moved the covers and moved herself down towards my still raging erection...She took all of me in her mouth and began going to town....
"Ohhhhhhhhh, aggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." I moaned as Lois worked her magic...
"WHAT ARE YA DOIN? I'M TRYIN TO SLEEP...SHUT UP THE NOISE!!" yelled my next door neighbor.
Lois looked up at me and giggled...Just then, I exploded like a gusher.....
"Ohhh myyyyy Ralph..." she laughed....
We both laid there in the bed together, while the couple who was outside arguing continued with their banter...
"I'll bring you your child support and some chicken wings tomorrow,I promise.. but it hurts my feelins when you call my other friends, whores." said Derek.
"I'm sorry baby...I won't call them tricks, whores no more...and make sure you get lots of hot sauce on them wings like I like." she said.
"I sho will baby." he said...
"OKAY NOW WILL YOU BOTH GET FROM IN FRONT OF MY WINDOW I'M
TRYIN TO GO TO SLEEP..SHUT UP THE NOISE." said my neighbor.
"Screw you man." said Derek.
"I'M GETTIN MY GUN AND I'M GONE SHOOT YOU." screamed my neighbor.
"Well come on wit it mane." screamed Derek.
Lois and I laughed and laughed and held each other.......
II-
The next morning, I took Lois to breakfast...We exchanged numbers and addresses and I promised her that I'd try to get up to North Jersey at least twice a month to see her.. I drove her to the Train Station....
"This aint goodbye Lois...I want to hear from you too...Not texts or e-mails...but phone calls...." I said.
"You will Ralph...you are soo sweet." she said and kissed me at the bus station for a long time...
The weekend came and as I promised...I took Rowena, my daughter, Raquel and her boyfriend Ray out to brunch....We had a nice meal and good conversation...
After I dropped them off...I drove Rowena to Josies where we sat in a booth and had drinks...
Reed Nelson and Debbie and her sister Delores came in...They saw us and walked by us...Downtown Rob Brown came in too...He looked at us..Smiled at me and winked...
"Rowena....I got something to tell you." I said.
"Yeah Ralphie...What is it?" she asked.
"I just found out I'm going to be a father again." I said.
"Oh really? Girlfriend?" she asked rather non-chalantly...
"Actually,it was a one night stand...The woman is from North Jersey..She was in here one night a few months ago....Her husband had died and she came down here to pick up the body and oh well, we got to talking and.."
"You talked her out of her panties ,just like you did me huh? Whooooooo, you got some potent sperm man....See? That's why I told you to get them condoms." she said ,laughing at her own joke.
"It's not funny Rowena....I plan to know this child.....I'm going to send her child support and I'll be goin up there to visit twice a month." I said.
"So why are you tellin me this Ralphie?" she asked.
"Well I wanted you to know what I was doing..I want to be straight with you and all." I said.
"You aint my man, you don't owe me that...Just because we uh had some friendly sex the other night doesn't mean you owe me an explanation..You can do what you want." she said.
"Well ,I uh thought that we, that you and me might uh..well you know..kick it." I said.
"You and me? In a relationship?? Hahahahahahaha...I don't think so..I like being free and single...I have another friend anyway..." she said.
"You do?" I said.
"Yeah...we aint got too serious yet...but we been goin out a few times..." she said.
"He got "benefits" " I asked.
"You are too funny Ralphie....Yes...he's got benefits...." she said.
"Oh." I said.
"It's okay Ralphie...you'll find somebody......You got a good heart, among other things....Heheheheheheh...but I'm not the one for you right now...I had a good time with you....I aint gone lie...My legs start shakin when I think about you and me in bed...but..." she said.
"But what?" I asked.
"But my heart doesn't flutter...This guy...he makes my heart flutter." she said.
"Oh..I see." I said.
I drove Rowena home....I was silent the whole drive....When I got to her door...
I walked her up to her house....She smiled at me...
"We can still be friends Ralph...After all, we have a daughter together." she said.
"That sounds good..." I said.
"Be well Ralphie." said Rowena.
"You too." I said as I walked back to my car and drove off....
Epilouge-
I sat in Josies by myself the next night, drinking a bottle of Henny and listening to Reed Nelson play his trumpet....
"Ladies and gentleman...I'd like to play my latest composition...I call it the "Baby Momma Blues." he said....
The band began playing behind Reed Nelson....Gus and Honey Brown and mostly everybody was clapping their hands to the beat......but not me...I understood the irony of it all!
"I aint gone pay a got-damn thing til you swab that baby's mouth and get the DNA test done, so I know it's mine." said Derek.
"It's yours alright...unlike your other trollips and tarts, I was only sleepin with your dumb ass." snapped the young woman..
"That aint what I heard.." said Derek...
"Forget you...." she said.
"Forget you tooo." she yelled.....
"I WOULD LIKE TO FORGET BOTH OF YOU.....IT'S THREE IN THE MORNIN,
I'M TRYIN TO SLEEP..SHUT UP THE NOISE.!!!!" bellowed my next door neighbor.
"Nigga ,who you think you talkin to...you shut up!" screamed Derek...
"Yeah, you shut up...don't be talkin to my man like that!" screamed the girl.
"I'M TALKIN TO BOTH OF YOUSE..NOW SHUT UP THE NOISE...DON'T MAKE ME COME OUT THERE." yelled my neighbor.
"Well come on wit it then sucka." yelled Derek.
Lois was laying in my bed with me giggling her head off...
"I remember him the last time I was here...he sure is uptight." she laughed as she snuggled up next to me....We kissed again.....We had been doing nothing but kissing and snuggling most of the night.. Lois was going to have my baby in about five months ,I still hadn't decided just what I was going to do..
"He needs a girlfriend...some good lovin would take the edge off of him." I said with a laugh...
"I bet you're never edgy are you?" asked Lois with a slight grin..
"Come again?" I asked.
"Anybody that is packing like you packin and as slick talkin as you are probably gets his share of good lovin. I'm not naive Ralph...I wasn't the first woman you brought up here and I probably wasn't the last..." she said. She was right!
"Lois...Tell me about your kids, your..uh other kids.." I said.
"I have a son...He's 9...I have two daughters....one is 5 and the other is 3...They were all by my late husband...They're staying with my mother in Patterson." she said.
"Your mother know about this?" I asked.
"Yeah...she wasn't too happy about it...neither was my dad...but I'm grown, what can they say?" she said and leaned over and gave me a long slow kiss....She rubbed my now raging erection....
"Ohhhhhh, if I wasn't pregnant like this...I'd take care of that..." she cooed..She rubbed my back softly...
"Try to calm down." she said.
"Aint no way I can calm down with you in my bed ,practically naked....Pregnant or not." I said.
"Awww, I turn you on like that?" she said.
I laughed.
"Lois...I got a 21 year old daughter." I said.
"Ex-Wife?" she asked.
"No...I've never been married..It's from a girl I knew years ago...I hadn't seen her in 21 years....I just found out two days ago...She's divorced and she lives here in Philly now...she said that the girl wanted to know who her biological father was,so she brought her to see me." I said.
"You sure it's yours?" she asked.
"She's mine...I'm certain of that much..." I said.
"Wow, 21 eh? You missed her entire life." said Lois, who kissed me again for a long while.
"Yeah, I know...but I don't want to miss this one...If you moved to Philly..I'd set you up with a place...I-" I said before she stopped me.
"Hold up Ralphie...Baby, sweetheart....I'm in the business of moving out of Patterson now....My husband was a bad man....He killed people for a living..He made a lot of money....He left me well over a million dollars in an offshore account before he died..plus other money I found hidden in the house after his death...I just bought a house for me and my children in Teaneck, New Jersey..." she said.
"Okay....but I want to have a part in this child's life....I know you don't need it, but I'd feel better if you allow me to give you child support for this one." I said.
"Wow...you are sooooo sweet...You're not like most guys...Most guys would be glad that they were absolved from all responsibility." she said.
"Yeah and they'd probably sound like those two outside ...That aint me...I laid down with you and made this child...Had a great damn time makin it too, I must say...And I'm willing to send you some child support...." I said.
"Awwwww, you are somethin else.." she said... She moved the covers and moved herself down towards my still raging erection...She took all of me in her mouth and began going to town....
"Ohhhhhhhhh, aggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." I moaned as Lois worked her magic...
"WHAT ARE YA DOIN? I'M TRYIN TO SLEEP...SHUT UP THE NOISE!!" yelled my next door neighbor.
Lois looked up at me and giggled...Just then, I exploded like a gusher.....
"Ohhh myyyyy Ralph..." she laughed....
We both laid there in the bed together, while the couple who was outside arguing continued with their banter...
"I'll bring you your child support and some chicken wings tomorrow,I promise.. but it hurts my feelins when you call my other friends, whores." said Derek.
"I'm sorry baby...I won't call them tricks, whores no more...and make sure you get lots of hot sauce on them wings like I like." she said.
"I sho will baby." he said...
"OKAY NOW WILL YOU BOTH GET FROM IN FRONT OF MY WINDOW I'M
TRYIN TO GO TO SLEEP..SHUT UP THE NOISE." said my neighbor.
"Screw you man." said Derek.
"I'M GETTIN MY GUN AND I'M GONE SHOOT YOU." screamed my neighbor.
"Well come on wit it mane." screamed Derek.
Lois and I laughed and laughed and held each other.......
II-
The next morning, I took Lois to breakfast...We exchanged numbers and addresses and I promised her that I'd try to get up to North Jersey at least twice a month to see her.. I drove her to the Train Station....
"This aint goodbye Lois...I want to hear from you too...Not texts or e-mails...but phone calls...." I said.
"You will Ralph...you are soo sweet." she said and kissed me at the bus station for a long time...
The weekend came and as I promised...I took Rowena, my daughter, Raquel and her boyfriend Ray out to brunch....We had a nice meal and good conversation...
After I dropped them off...I drove Rowena to Josies where we sat in a booth and had drinks...
Reed Nelson and Debbie and her sister Delores came in...They saw us and walked by us...Downtown Rob Brown came in too...He looked at us..Smiled at me and winked...
"Rowena....I got something to tell you." I said.
"Yeah Ralphie...What is it?" she asked.
"I just found out I'm going to be a father again." I said.
"Oh really? Girlfriend?" she asked rather non-chalantly...
"Actually,it was a one night stand...The woman is from North Jersey..She was in here one night a few months ago....Her husband had died and she came down here to pick up the body and oh well, we got to talking and.."
"You talked her out of her panties ,just like you did me huh? Whooooooo, you got some potent sperm man....See? That's why I told you to get them condoms." she said ,laughing at her own joke.
"It's not funny Rowena....I plan to know this child.....I'm going to send her child support and I'll be goin up there to visit twice a month." I said.
"So why are you tellin me this Ralphie?" she asked.
"Well I wanted you to know what I was doing..I want to be straight with you and all." I said.
"You aint my man, you don't owe me that...Just because we uh had some friendly sex the other night doesn't mean you owe me an explanation..You can do what you want." she said.
"Well ,I uh thought that we, that you and me might uh..well you know..kick it." I said.
"You and me? In a relationship?? Hahahahahahaha...I don't think so..I like being free and single...I have another friend anyway..." she said.
"You do?" I said.
"Yeah...we aint got too serious yet...but we been goin out a few times..." she said.
"He got "benefits" " I asked.
"You are too funny Ralphie....Yes...he's got benefits...." she said.
"Oh." I said.
"It's okay Ralphie...you'll find somebody......You got a good heart, among other things....Heheheheheheh...but I'm not the one for you right now...I had a good time with you....I aint gone lie...My legs start shakin when I think about you and me in bed...but..." she said.
"But what?" I asked.
"But my heart doesn't flutter...This guy...he makes my heart flutter." she said.
"Oh..I see." I said.
I drove Rowena home....I was silent the whole drive....When I got to her door...
I walked her up to her house....She smiled at me...
"We can still be friends Ralph...After all, we have a daughter together." she said.
"That sounds good..." I said.
"Be well Ralphie." said Rowena.
"You too." I said as I walked back to my car and drove off....
Epilouge-
I sat in Josies by myself the next night, drinking a bottle of Henny and listening to Reed Nelson play his trumpet....
"Ladies and gentleman...I'd like to play my latest composition...I call it the "Baby Momma Blues." he said....
The band began playing behind Reed Nelson....Gus and Honey Brown and mostly everybody was clapping their hands to the beat......but not me...I understood the irony of it all!
3 comments:
Bout to throw my panties at you!n
@Anonymous- It doesn't take much!
Great ending to a goo story...I expect to hear more about this situation..You left a lot of loose ends.
Hillarious story Keith!
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