The Big Mouth

"I'm sorry to hear you were in the Hospital Melvin." I said.

''Yeah Rob...I was puttin a ticket on this car two weeks ago...and somebody tasered me and then hit me with a sap from behind." said my friend Melvin.

"Damn man a sap? That's really old school. " I said.

"Yeah...it put an old school knot on my dome man..." laughed Melvin.

"Melvin, what are you doin workin for the Philadelphia Parking Authority anyway?....You used to play a mean trombone man...I sure could use another horn in my band baby." I said.

"Man..I had to pay the bills...Jeanette is about to have our third child and we just moved into a bigger place a few months ago...but I'll hook up with you guys and set in a few dates , next time you playin at Josies." he said.

We were at the IHOP....the 24 hour IHOP....I had played a gig over in Jersey and had been mad hungry....I stopped in IHOP and sat down and had a cup of coffee with my good friend, Melvin Dunlap...hell of a trombonist.

"I sure could have used your help a few days ago partner." I said.

"Help?, how so?" asked Melvin...

"Man, somebody found out I had three unpaid tickets and they booted me and towed me...all in one night." I said.

''In one night? It doesn't work like that...We give the person 48 hours to pay the bill before we tow and you say you got booted at night?? Nah man...the boot squad goes off duty at 8:00 pm....This was some rogue mess goin on baby...Who the hell in the Philadelphia Parking Authority did YOU piss off?"he asked.

That was the second time that somebody from the Philadelphia Parking Authority asked me that! I was beginning to wonder....Just then, some friends of mine came in to the IHOP, Chance Howard,Paris, Blake, Bailey and four  girls, the sexy Anita Jenkins, Cherish, Nadine and Pam....I could tell that they had been out partying hard...they looked beat...

"Downtown Rob Brownnnnnnn, my man..." said Paris as he gave me some dap...His girl Nadine was laughing and practically holding him up....

''What's up baby?" I said.

"Heyy Rob..don't mind my partner, he drunk as hell...that's why we come here to get some food in him." said Blake...

"Hi Rob" said Anita Jenkins...

"Hey girl...I guess you aint workin tomorrow." I joked.

"Not a chance " she laughed...

Bailey , Chance, Pam and Cherish all waved and they all took up two booths...

Pretty soon waitresses bought us Pancakes, Waffles, French Toast, Eggs, Coffee and orange juice and the quiet chatter turned to the sound of lips smacking...the eating of food and drinking of beverages...

II-

The quiet was interrupted by the loud guffawing laughter of Big Bill.....That being, "Big " Billy Drayton...a six foot four, 205 pound fellow who was as loud as he was tall...He came in with of all people, Mai Ling Jackson..They were laughing and hollering so loud...that not only were the three or four white people looking at them...but Me and Melvin and Bailly,Pam, Chance, Anita, Paris,Nadine, Blake and Cherish were looking at them too....Mai Ling saw me and told Big Bill to wait a minute...She walked over to me and gave me a wet kiss on the lips....Her breath smelled like she had been drinking.....

"Heyyy Rob Brown...you still downtownnnn?...hahahahahahahahahahahaha" she laughed...

"How you doin Mai?" I said and all the while thinking...She can't be planning on giving Big Bill some..she just can't...

"I'll let you know tomorrow Rob...we were at Josies, Ciros, The Mermaid Club and Mulberry Street tonight." she laughed...

''Wow, you really painted the town." I said. Melvin was checkin her out and shaking his head...

"Rob...fine as she is...what is she doing with Big Bill? I know she aint about to give him none.." he chuckled..

"Melvin, you just said what I was thinking..." I said.

"COME ON OVAH HERE GAL AN LET'S ORDER...I'M HUNGRY." bellowed Big Bill...

"Nice seeing you again Rob" said Mai..as she walked over to Big Bill's table and sat down... Soon they ordered and when their food came ...They quieted down...

It was only quiet for a little while...The short stocky serious looking gentleman that was in Josies the night before entered the IHOP...What the hell was this- "Old homes week"? I mused to myself..He walked right past us over to Mai Ling's table...Melvin looked up...he seemed to know this guy...

"Hey Lester..How you doin?" he waved...Lester looked at Melvin, waved and kept going towards their table.

"You know that square?" I asked.

"Yeah...that's Lester Treadwell...works with me at the Philadelphia Parking Authority..." said Melvin..

"He does?" I asked.

"Yeah. he's a little odd...but he alright basically...Minds his business, don't bother nobody...He lives with his mother." said Melvin.

III-

"MAI LING" he said loudly....

Mai Ling turned around and looked up at him and smiled-

"Heyy sugar, how are you doin?" she said.

"WHERE WERE YOU TODAY? WE HAD A DATE, REMEMBER?" he bellowed.

"A date? You and me?  I don't...." said Mai..

"Heyyy brother, pump your brakes and lower your voice." said Big Bill... Coming from him, this was a surprise.

"I DON'T BELIEVE I AM TALKING TO YOU ." said Lester .

"Yeah? WELL I'M TALKIN TO YOU...PUMP YO BRAKES AND QUIET YO MOUF , THE YOUNG LADY IS EATING RIGHT NOW AND ENJOYING MY COMPANY." said Big Bill...

"Ohhhhhh snap...you asked me about Madame Butterfly a few days ago...honey I forgot.." said Mai Ling.

"You....YOU FORGOT???? OHHHHH YOU FORGOT." screamed Lester.

"MANE, I AINT GONE TELL YOU AGAIN....SHE FORGOT...SHE WAS OUT WIT ME...NOW BEAT IT SONNY, IT'S WAYYY  PAST YOUR BEDTIME." said Big Bill...

"YOU GOTTTA BIGGG MOUTH BIG BILL." screamed Lester.  By now, everybody was looking...This wasn't going to end well...

"I'M BOUT TO CLOSE YOURS BUDDY." said Big Bill.

"JUST EAT YOUR PANCAKES AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH." said Lester tersly...I knew that that was a big mistake!

"WHAT? WHO YOU THINK YOU TALKIN TO?  WHY I'LL KNOCK YOU ON YOUR CAN!!!"
yelled Big Bill...

"Oh yeah? Come on....you feelin froggy big man, then damnit, LEAPPP!" screamed Lester, it was the hippest thing he had ever said....but not good to discuss with Big Bill

Big Bill got out of his chair  and swung at Lester, but the short stocky man was quick, he weaved and made Big Bill miss and he landed a couple of good lefts and rights to Big Bill's mid-section, a right cross to his jaw and a left to his face , which sent Big Bill falling back into his booth....But Big Bill was no slouch..He got himself together and landed a big body punch to Lester's solar plexis...Lester bent over in pain and Big Bill hit him with a right cross...That's all he needed..Lester went flying and went down for the count! Lights out!

The manager and two cooks came running out...

"What's goin on?" they screamed...

"Sir, the young lady and I were enjoying your wonderful cuisine here when this gentleman acosted us." said Big Bill with fake indignation...All of us were snickering...He was as ghetto as they came and now he sounded like an indignant white woman...

The manager bought it...He helped Lester Treadwell get up....dust his clothes off...

"Okay buddy hit the bricks...I see you in here again...I'm callin the cops...Now beat it!" he said..

Lester stomped his feet like a child and stormed out...Loud raucous laughter followed...The only ones not laughing was Me, Mai Ling and Melvin....

"I never seen him like that before." said Melvin...

"I think he has a thing for Mai Ling." I said.

"Well can't blame him there...she fine as hell...If I wasn't married...I'd have a thing for her too!" laughed Melvin.. I looked at him and I laughed too!

IV-

That night, Big Bill and Mai Ling were driving home I guess in his 2011, Ford Explorer...he had just got it and it was in mint condition...Somewhere in between IHOP and their destination...the brakes failed...

''I don't know whuts the matter...I can't put on my brakes..." said Big Bill.

"What? , What are you talkin about...I can't put on my brakes....I don't have control of the car......AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"OH HELLLL AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..."

The car went through the door of a closed gas station and crashed through the back wall.....Big Bill was killed
on impact....Mai Ling lie unconscious......

I didn't hear the news until the next morning....



(Conclusion Next.)