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Monday, June 1, 2009

Sirena's Audition


My name is Reed Nelson...I'm a Trumpet player from Patterson, New Jersey....You may have heard of me...Philly's Hype magazine ran a cover story on me a month ago. I've made a name for myself in the region, playing a few dates in the tri state area (Pennsylvania, New York and New Jersey) I've played a few dates in the South and out on the West Coast. I've even recorded a few CD's. Most people don't buy Jazz now of days and so to support myself, I play "Smooth Jazz" which is really instrumental R&B...but I'm not purist. I started out playing the Piano...but gravitated to the Trumpet...The trumpet became my main instrument.

I was traveling to Philly quite a bit....One reason was that I met a great Keyboard player named "88" there and I got him to play some dates with my band as well as do some recording withn us.
Another reason was that I was making good money playing at a Bar and Restaraunt known as "Josie's" where it seemed everybody who was hip in Philly hung out. The owner and cheif bartender there..a guy named Gus became a good friend of mine as well. We always played to sell out crowds there.

My Saxophonist, Bubby Fullerson was from Newark, but had a cousin there...a cousin named Sirena. I was looking for a singer to headline the band and to make us more relevant and attract a younger crowd.. He told me that his cousin could sing and rap and would make our band a hit.
I didn't believe Bubby..This was probably some girl he met and slept with and made a promise to get a job for her afterwords as "payment". I can't tell you how many times Bubby did something like this...but this time he kept swearing that this was his cousin and that she was the real thing.

"Is she really that good Bubby?" I asked him.

"Man, she can blow...I'm telling you...you got to hear her...She just missed being on American Idol. Just meet her..I'm sure you'll like her." he said.

We played two sets at Josie's in Philly one Friday night and after the last set, I was chilling, having a couple of drinks with "88", his friend Chess and the photographer, Sean Jackson who did a shoot for us for Hype magazine when Bubby came over and pointed his cousin out to me.

"Hey Reed man..there is my cousin over there at the bar man...in the yellow dress, with the gardenia in her hair ...thas huh...just go talk to her man." He said.

Well,I don't know how well she could sing or if she could sing at all...but from what I could see,I was impressed....That dress hugged every curve on her more than ample body. She had what the old timers would call "Baby making hips" and some nice curvy ,shapley legs to die for.. she had the prettiest light brown eyes I'd ever seen and she was the complexion of maple syrup.. Bubby didn't have to ask me twice...I left the group of guys I was sitting with and walked over to the bar where she was sitting. She had a beautiful smile...perfectly white teeth...maybe she could
sing..who knows? I thought.

"Well Hello." I said. It was obvious that my tongue was hanging out of my mouth. She knew right then and there that she had my nose open. Women always know that kind of thing.

"Hello yourself" she said..

"I'm Reed Nelson.....I hear you can sing a little bit" I said.

"I don't do bad " she said.

"Well that's nice to hear....what are you drinking?" I asked.

"Long Island Ice tea." she said.

"Hey Gus...A Long Island for the lady and two shots of Tequila for me." I said. Gus side eyed me, then he looked at Sirena and smiled, shaking his head.

Maybe it was the Tequila....I don't remember...but Sirena and I talked and talked for hours and continued to drink too...The band ,including Bubby and "88" had long gone...In fact, everybody had left and Gus came up to us and said-

"Ah sho hates to end this great conversation you peoples must be havin..but it's closin time Reed, yall aint got to go home....."

"I know Gus, but we got to get the hell up outta here....heard it a million times." I said ,laughing.

"That's right" said Gus, looking at me, then her and smiling that slick old man smile of his and just shaking his head.

Somehow or other I wound up in her living room....both of us naked..with me lifting her up and laying her across the sofa....parting her legs and pressed the flat of my tongue against her now enlarged clitoris....she raised her legs and she began to moan....

"Ohhhhhhh Reeeeed...my neighbors...my neighbors are gonna hear me...ohhhhhhh,you're gettin me excited...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh....you gotta stop this....ohhhhhhh,no morrrre...no moreee...ouuuu...you're going to have me.....ohhhhhh goddddd...screaming..ouuuuuuuuuu...."

"You taste too damn good to me baby...I can't stop.." I said as I continued....

"Then don't stop, don't stop, don't stopppppp...ohhhhh my goddddd...I'm losing my mind" she moaned...

I lifted those baby making hips of hers up and I brought her down on me, so that she took my entire penis inside of her........ she groaned and began bouncing up and down....I should've noticed
it then...Her voice got really guttural and deep,like a man's....but who cares about that at a time like this? Then her squeals got higher and higher and grainy...

"Ohhhhhh...Ohhhhhhhhh, it's on now....this is definitely it....ouuuuuuuuuu.." she said as she began moving up and down in a solid rhythem...I started kissing her and she began kissing me so
hard as she moved up and down that I could hardly breathe....I stood up and began holding her as she continued to move up and down...

"Awwww...you hittin my spot, you hittin my spot.....ouuuuuuuuuuuuu...." she moaned in a very high irritating screach....again...I wasn't thinking about the sound of her voice, I was just pumping harder and she was moaning louder...I couldn't think, she just felt so good...she smelled
good too!

This went on for I don't know...a hour, two hours until finnally we both erupted simultaneously in the sweetest climaxes ever...We continued to hold each other as sweat poured down our backs.

"Sirena?" I said, still breathing heavy...

"What is it Mr. Nelson?" she said.

"Stop by the club tomorrow before it opens....I think you got that singing job." I said.

"Oh thank you...thank you so much Mr. Nelson." she said.

"Call me Reed..you don't have to call me Mr. Nelson." I said.

You know, I've heard a lot of women say that Men only think with one part of their anatomy. I don't know how true that is...but it was certainly true in this case. The next day, Sirena was a half hour late. I gave her a couple of songs that we were going to perform that night and then set
up her mike. 88 started off with a beautiful Piano solo...follwed by the Bass, Guitar, Drums and
Conga player...I came in on the trumpet to set the mood of the song and then Sirena opened her mouth and began to sing......

It was one of the worst sounds I have ever heard coming from a human being......I thought that this must be a mistake...As beautiful as this woman was ,how could she sound like this?? I looked at the band members and they looked at me with hurt and wounded looks. To make matters worse...Her cousin, Bubby, the saxophone player and Gus came to the rehearsal room....

"Man, who killed a cat back here?...Come on now..I'm runnin a business." said Gus.

"Yeah man...I tole you to hire my cousin.....who you got back here singing..a drunk?" laughed Bubby as they both walked in the back. It took Gus a mere second to realize that he had been talking about Sirena...He immediately did an about face and turned and walked back out...but Bubby on the other hand was stuck.....He just stood there looking stupid and with a blank expression on his face.

Sirena burst into tears and ran out of the club.... Nobody said a word....Bubby continued to stand there looking stupid...Finnally he looked at me and gave me a sheepish grin and said-

"Hey Reed...she aint really my cousin...I uh met her a few weeks ago and she tole me she could sing...an ah say that ah could get huh a job with you or that I'd try..heh.heh,heh,heh,heh,heh.....
No hard feelins huh? Reed...Reed ,don't look at me like that...come on baby...we go back man....
Reed...She was a fine somethin though wasn't she? heh, heh,heh."he said. I just shook my head.

Needless to say..We never saw Sirena again. Oh, and I fired Bubby! He's back in Newark playing a few clubs.

19 comments:

Solomon said...

LMAO Keith,

My cousin, she can sing... Both those boys tapped it before they found out she squeaked louder than an old box spring.... lololol

Another good one bro!

James Perkins said...

Hahahahahahaha, Great Story..Those two both got fooled!

Toni said...

Hillarious story, Men do think with that part of their anatomy!:)

Angie B. said...

Funny Story...That's what they both get for being dogs! :)

Simon Bastion said...

Loved this story Keith!

Jazzy said...

ROFLMBAO! Cool story!!

Sunflower said...

A Nice Change of Pace story for a change.

Cheryl said...

ROTFLMBAO!!! Men!! :)

Lisa said...

Just the thought of gettin some will make a man lose his fool mind.
Hillariously good story.

Vanessa said...

They both slept with her and she almost got the job..she must have really sounded bad, because in any other scenario, she would have had the job.

Halo said...

ROTFLMAO- Funny Story,says a lot about men.

Brenda said...

I agree with Soloman,they both hit that and then found out she couldn't sing. Most guys would have hired her anyway. lolololol

Grover Tha Playboy said...

Hahahahahahahha...Man this was good,Sister was workin it...She must have really sounded like a goat though for them not to have hired her.

Swaggie said...

Man, the Trumpet Player and Bandleader hit in and the Saxophonist hit it too!-lololol,she should have had that job, regardless of what she sounded like! lolololol.

Tate2 said...

Hillarious story man!

Sean said...

Funny Story, Nice change of pace!

Captain Jack said...

I loved this Keith!

Anonymous said...

Standing and applauding and tossing my panties at you...This is the kind of story I was waiting for.

SLC said...

I love Smooth Jazz, but I agree with Reed's R&B perspective. Sounds like Reed isn't cut out to be a talent scout; thinking below the belt.
But, at least he had a night to remember, "she moaned in a very high irritating screech."

I'm sure she'll get hired to screech somewhere.