Old Demons

2003-Philadelphia PA.

By now I had been living in Philadelphia for two years...Having once been an investment banker, I knew just where to put that huge sum of money I came here with. I invested it in things I knew were sure fire and in no time...I had tripled my money. I had a nice apartment in the Manyunk section of Philly. It was a step down from how I'd lived in New York City, but it was okay...

I bought a car, nothing flashy...a 2003 Honda Accord...I began taking night courses at Community College to keep my mind sharp and I got myself a job at, wouldn't you know it, a bank! I started small in Customer service and worked my way into an account manager's job. The pay was nothing like what I had made in New York City..but I didn't care..I wasn't exactly wanting for money.

I worked during the day, took classes at night and lived in perfect anonymity until one night, as

I was going to my apartment, I saw the door open to another apartment. Several guys were playing cards..and then it hit me...that old demon of gambling. I couldn't pass by a card game and not want to get in....This was the very impulse that had gotten me into trouble in New York.

Before I knew it...I was in the middle of this floating crap game , drinking, talking big crap and losing big....By daybreak...I was broke ..Had lost a whole week's pay ,drunk as a shunk and feeling pretty low.. I walked back to my apartment and made a solem vow to stay away from the

games of chance.

Within a week,I was in Atlantic City....losing big again...and leaving with just enough money to fill

my car's tank and get back to Philly. I had to stop this or soon I'd be in big to some gangster like

Larry Brown and half to leave here. I couldn't spend my life running like that...So I decided to get some help...I enetered an intervention program.

The meetings were held in a church in Southwest Philadelphia.. Here in the basement of this church, several different people with several different kinds of addictions sat in a circle and talked. The mediator was a pretty brown skinned woman with honey brown skin...She wore her hair in a pony tail. She had a nice rack and the roundest hips and hine parts I'd seen since I left New York.. She wore jeans and a brown turtle neck...Her name was Kim....Kim Morgan.

She asked an older gentlemen with a speck of grey in his hair to speak first...

"Hello everyones....My name is John Struthers.....I am a pastor of a church.. Not around here, Up in the Mt Airy secttion.....I think I may be a sex addict.....I try to go the straight and narrow.

I have a beautiful wife named Victoria...I couldn't ask for a better wife....but when I'm around women....something gets ahold of me....I don't know what it is...I just have to have them." he said. I couldn't beleive this man...a man of the cloth at that!

''Well Pastor Struthers, what do you think makes you feel that way?" asked Kim Morgan.

"Ah don't rightfully know...Like take right now...Take you for instance.....Right now I'm checking you out..wondering what the color of your bra is and what I have to do to get that blouse off and cup those ample breasts of your is my hands...." he said.

She was stunned at his candor and not in the mood to hear any more from him...She quickly interrrupted him- "Er ahhhhh, Oooohhhhh kayyyyyyy....Mr. Strong, what is your story?" she said.

"My name is Brandon Strong...I'm a gambler....I lost everything I had because of my gambling.

I'm not from Philly...I -I moved here from er ,uh......New-New Jersey....I was engaged to be married once.....I bankrupted my future for a game of chance." I said.

I thought I caught Kim checking me out....She smiled and she said to me-

"How did that make you feel Brandon?"

"Much regret...Much regret...I lost my whole life...The whole life I used to know.." I said.

The audience was riveted by what I had to say....I stopped short of telling them that I had faked my death in New York City two years before on September 11th and had been in Philly ever since using a fake name and a dead man's social security number. I let it go at that..I instead sat

quietly and listened to victims of incest, drug abusers, victims of domestic violence and others speak.

The wiley old reverend kept trying to ask Kim if she would meet with him for coffee after the session..She kept telling him that she couldn't do that , that it was against her ethics...I didn't know if these sessions could really help me..but it was one more thing to do to stop my impulse to gamble.

When I got to my apartment though something happened that sort of steered me in the right direction. My lights wouldn't come on!!! I hadn't paid the Electric or the water bill or the phone bill for that matter....I had blown two paychecks gambling! I had to go into my hidden savings

to bail myself out. I hadn't wanted to touch that money. I was trying to live as inconspicuous as

possible. How long would it be before I was using this money to bail myself out of huge gambling

debts.... I decided right then and there, that I wasn't ever going to gamble again.

Funny how certain things happen at the worse possible time. There was a knock on my door.

I opened the door to see, the sexy counselor, Kim Morgan standing there, looking good as usual.

She had on some tight jeans...A baseball jersey that fit her a little too snugly and some flip flops.

She looked to comfortable..Like she might live in this building...but she couldn't!! Or could she??

"Uh Ms. Morgan?" I said ,startled.

"You can call me Kimmy, most people who know me do." she said with a smile.

I smiled too.

"Hi Brandon....I noticed your car when I pulled into the lot across the street." she said.

"You live here?" I asked.

"Yes..I live upstairs....I thought it was such a co-incidence that you live in my building and you attend my sessions." she said.

"Yeah...wow...it is.." I laughed.

"Is this a bad time?" she asked.

"Well, uh, kind of sort of.....My electric is off...probably my gas,water and phone too."I said.

"Let me guess, you gambled your bill money away." she said, not being judgemental, just being

matter of fact.

"Yeah...and I think this right here is going to teach me more of a lesson than your sessions...No

Offense."I said.

"None taken....I might be able to help you out a little financially, but you'll have to promise to pay me back." she said. I was beginning to like her already...and not just because I wanted to get in her pants....It was something more.

"Oh thank you, but I've got some money stashed away....I can take care of it...but I'm not going to make a habit of this." I said.

"Most gamblers don't have much money." she said.

"Yeah, well I've been good for about two years...then I had a relapse.." I said.

She looked at me shrewedly....Did she know? Did she somehow know that my whole existence was a lie?? She seemed sharp. I liked that in a woman...but not too sharp.

"Okay, Mr. Strong...I'll leave you to your own devices...Maybe next time I see you, you'll have your situation in order" she said with a smile.

"Hey, you can drop by in a few days" I said, glad to know that there would be another visit from her.

"We'll see" she said with a wink as she walked down the hall.

I smiled....If I could get past at least one of my demons....Things might start to look up for me!

(To Be Continued)