Wednesday, February 24, 2010

D-Flat


My Name is Reed Nelson, I play the trumpet.. My quartet just recently returned to Philly after a week in Venezuela.. We had a blast, getting away from this cold ,snowy weather in Philadelphia. We enjoyed the beaches and the summer like weather...We played two sets a night and spent the rest of the night drinking and chasing women...I didn't take Debbie with me for that reason...Plus I was a little mad at her for being in with that rat Symphony Sam and his scam.

Because of him, I jumped in the Atlantic ocean in my swim trunks on the coldest day of the damn year and almost froze to death...He , Gus the bartender and owner of Josie's Bar and Grill and Debbie had all been in on it. They had had their little laugh. I was wondering when I would get mine.

A few nights ago, Debbie, 88, Symphony Sam and I were all sitting in Mabel Jenkins's Soul food joint after we had played a set at Josie's. I ordered a Slab of Ribs, Some Collard Greens and some Potato Salad and some Cokes for Debbie and 88...I didn't order anything for Symphony Sam, who had invited himself to our table.

"Heyyyy Reed, Helllooooo Deborah....heheheheheheheh...How is everything?" he laughed...The snake!

"We are fine Sam, how are you?" said Debbie.

"Oh I can't complain...Can't Complain....Hey Reed..No Hard feelings about that Penguin Club thang huh...It was funny...hahahahahahahahaha...I can't beleive you actually jumped in the water with all those crazy white people..hahahahahahahahaha..." he laughed, as did Debbie.

"There was a Black female there I beleive and an Asian chick." I said.

"Yeah, I noticed them..." He said.

"They had more guts than you." I said dryly...not cracking a smile.

" Okay, Okay guys...it's over...water under the bridge.." said Debbie, sensing my seething anger at having been made to look like a fool.

'Water under the bridge, No pun intended???Hahahahahahahahaha, that's a good one Deb" laughed Symphony Sam and Debbie together.

Just then, my keyboard player, 88 tapped me on the shoulder and pointed.

"Hey Reed...Look who's in here?" he said.

I looked and saw a most gorgeous hunk of woman standing at the counter in some tight jeans that she must have painted on and some foxy boots....It was Sirena!!! I hadn't seen her in close to a year and a half...She fashioned herself as a singer...She auditioned for me...

Somehow or other I wound up in her living room....both of us naked..with me lifting her up and laying her across the sofa....parting her legs and pressed the flat of my tongue against her now enlarged clitoris....she raised her legs and she began to moan...."Ohhhhhhh Reeeeed...my neighbors...my neighbors are gonna hear me...ohhhhhhh,you're gettin me excited...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh....you gotta stop this....ohhhhhhh,no morrrre...no moreee...ouuuu...you're going to have me.....ohhhhhh goddddd...screaming..ouuuuuuuuuu....""

You taste too damn good to me baby...I can't stop.." I said as I continued...."Then don't stop, don't stop, don't stopppppp...ohhhhh my goddddd...I'm losing my mind" she moaned...I lifted those baby making hips of hers up and I brought her down on me, so that she took my entire penis inside of her........ she groaned and began bouncing up and down....I should've noticed it then...Her voice got really guttural and deep,like a man's....but who cares about that at a time like this?

Then her squeals got higher and higher and grainy..."Ohhhhhh...Ohhhhhhhhh, it's on now....this is definitely it....ouuuuuuuuuu.." she said as she began moving up and down in a solid rhythem...I started kissing her and she began kissing me so hard as she moved up and down that I could hardly breathe....I stood up and began holding her as she continued to move up and down...

I still remembered our night together.......She turned to leave and then she saw me..First she waved, then she walked over to our table..

"Hii Reed." she said in a very seductive voice.

"Heyy Serena how are you doing?" I laughed.

"Heyy 88" she said.

"What's goin on girl...you still singing?" laughed 88 who looked at me, then Symphony Sam and winked.

"Well, I'm trying to get a gig...but I haven't been very successful" she said. I could certainly believe that..I had heard her sing and it was the worse experience of my life...How could a girl this fine, this good in bed sing so horribly I thought.

'Welllllll helllooooooo gorgeous." piped Symphony Sam, who stood up and kissed her hand. I noticed that Debbie was getting a little perturbed since all of the attention was now on Sirena.
I could've cared less at the moment.

"You need a gig, You're a singer?? I'm a trumpet player myself....and I have a little quartet and I would love to have you sing with my band..." he said.

88 nudged me and it was all I could do to keep from laughing.

"Listen....Tomorrow night after my esteemed colleage here finishes his set at Josie's....I will be
playing a special set... Do you know -"The Man I love" ?" asked Symphony Sam.

"Billie Holiday?? I sure do...I'll sing it for you.." said Sirena...

"No No No No.....Why don't you surpise him tomorrow in Josie's?" I said.

"Oh Okay....." she laughed...."It was nice seeing you again Reed and 88...and thank you again Mr.
Mister...."

"Symphony Sam is the name sweet lady......seducing women with my trumpet is my game...heheheheheheheheheh..." He laughed. 88 and I laughed too...Only Debbie was not laughing.

The Next Night, Josies was packed..Standing room only... Debbie sat up front as 88 and I and our band put on a show....We played some our best numbers and had the crowd howling and clapping..Even Gus was clapping.....And then I went to the mike and to everyone's surprise made the intro...

"Ladies and Gentlemen..We have a real treat for you tonight....Closing out the show is Symphony
Sam and his quintet and a young lady I know you're going to remember.....Give it up, show your love for SIRENA !!!!!...."

The crowd went crazy and when Sirena came out in that blood red mini skirt, the men went even wilder!!! Symphony Sam came out with his Trumpet looked at the crowd and flashed that phony smile of his...Then he began to play....

Sirena didn't wait for him to finish playing his intro..she burst into the song with all of the , eh talent she had....

"ONE DAYYYYYYYYYY HE'lllll commmmmmme...dis man ah luvvvvvvvv......"

It was the worst thing I had ever heard.......You never saw so many disapointed faces... I mean you could hear a pin drop....She sounded even worse than she had when she had auditioned for me... and the more she sang , the worst it got....Soon people began booing and tossing things at the stage...

Gus ran out into the middle of the bar.....

"Oh Lawd girl stop making that noise...what you tryin to do, close me down?"

88 and I stood outside the bar laughing so hard our sides were hurting....Then it started getting
noisy in there as the sound of people throwing things and the boos got even louder.... I heard Gus
saying to Symphony Sam..

"Man ,you got to get that chick outta here for they tear my place up....my God....Didn't yall rehearse.. Shit?"cursed Gus.

88 fell down into the back alley , he was laughing so hard and I was pounding on the wall.....
Debbie came out and walked over to us....

"You two guys are something else...You knew that girl couldn't sing didn't you? You had her come in that restaraunt on purpose..knowing Symphony Sam would go for the bait didn't you?
Oh my God...you all are terrible.." she said. She was laughing uncontrollably too...The three of us were in the back alley laughing our fool heads off...Inside I could hear Symphony Sam talking
to Gus...

"Hey man, she asked me for a job..she said she could sing.."

"Aww man my neck, don't give me that.. You didn't rehearse? Come in here with that crap? Ah know why ...you was busy plottin on how you was gonna get in her pants and it clouded your mind." said Gus.

"Aww Gus, now you know I aint like that.." said Sam.

"The Hell you aint...You and every man I know is like that....Come on now, yall got to get up out of here for they tear my club up..Come on get out..." said Gus.

"Gus, let me play another number?" pleaded Symphony Sam.

"The hell you will...You're done Symphony Sam....Get your stuff and get out and stop that chick from singing..puh lease.."wailed Gus.

Debbie got in my Car and 88 waved goodbye as he got in his...We were still laughing..We could still hear the boos and the breaking of glass in Josies as we drove away. My name is Reed Nelson, I play the trumpet.

18 comments:

Toni said...

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha,This was hillarious ,good story Keith!

Toni said...

I can't believe it..I was actually First today!

Angie B. said...

ROTFLMBAO! Great Story Keith!

James Perkins said...

You out did yourself with this one
Keith!

Cheryl said...

Keith, you crazy!lol

Samuel Bastion said...

Nice! After what Symphony Sam did to him in "Penguins", It was nice seeing Reed get some revenge!

Jazzy said...

You Crazy Fam!

Brenda said...

Now that's Revenge! lololol,I loved it!

Captain Jack said...

I always love a good revenge story and this was a good revenge story!

Lisa said...

Booo Yaaaa! Loved it!

Halo said...

This story had me laughing so hard my sides were hurting!

Vanessa said...

OMG This was Hella Funny Keith!

Sunflower said...

I remember this charactor, Sirena from the story you wrote about her last year..This was good.

Grover Tha Playboy said...

ROTFLMBAO! Man, this was just what I needed ...A good laugh!

Sean said...

You crazy Keith.....Good Story! lol

Swaggie said...

Loved this story man, it had me falling out of my chair!

Tate 2 said...

This was crazy...Funny as hell!

Anonymous said...

Standing and applauding and tossing my panties at you, while laughing my a$$ off...lolol