The band was really cooking tonight, "88" had written a number called "Cold Cocked" and he was tearing up the keys....I had just hired a new Saxophonist named Snuffy Mcgraw and he and I were dueling on the horns...He on the Sax and me on the Trumpet....My Trombonist, Big Bill Fambrough was doing his best to keep up with us... My tight little rhythem section was keeping us in the pocket.....The crowd was going crazy. My name is Reed Nelson..I play trumpet, this is one of my stories!
We were playing in a new joint right off the boardwalk in Atlantic City...It was nice to hear a crowd that still appreciated real jazz and didn't need to hear us "smooth" it out by doing versions of today's popular r&b hits. I mean I did that to pay the bills- a man has got to eat and have a roof over his head...but I'm a jazz man baby..through and through.
I looked down in the crowd and there was my girlfriend, Debbie...She was looking extra good...She was wearing a black turtle neck sweater that had diamond shaped openings in the arms that showed off her beautiful dark skin.
Her jeans were so tight, they looked like they were painted on. It was all I could do to concentrate on my solo..
Guys were nearly dropping their drinks walking past her, I loved it! After our set was over....I sat with her in the customer area of the club. We smiled at each
other...
"What are you drinking doll?" I asked.
"An Appletini....I know that you don't want that?" she said.
"Nahh, too tame for me." I laughed.....Truth was..I didn't want any alcohol at all..I was thinking of getting Debbie up to our hotel room and peeling those jeans off of her.
Just as I was getting ready to get her coat , I hear a familiar, yet annoying voice.
"Heyyyyy ,Deborah..is that you babe?" came the voice. It was "Symphony Sam"
another Trumpet player and band leader. We had played a few dates together before. I couldn't stand him...He was a grandstander , he was loud and obnoxious and worse..He never saw somebody else's lady that he didn't think he should have too.
"Deb you know this goldbrick?" I whispered.
" Oh yes...who doesn't know Symphony Sam?" she laughed. "We dated breifly, but nothing came of it." she said non-chalantly.
''Wellllllll...I see you've met Reed Nelson....." he drawled.
"She's more than met me ,we are exclusive." I retorted.
"Ohhhhh, exclusive..well excusssse the hell outta me." he said.
"Hi Sam..how are you?" said Debbie.
"I'm good....good...You know Reed..I was Debbie's first love..heh heh heh.." he
laughed.
"Really Symphony Sam? That's not what she said...She told me that it was breif.. You know , they have something for that problem...it's called Viagra." I said.
"Ohh ho hooooo...good one Reed, good one..." He snapped.
"Come on guys..knock it off ." said Debbie.
"It's okay Deb...I'm not worried about Reed..I've got bigger fish to fry. I've joined the Penguin club...Yup..First Black man to ever join...We are going out in the water tomorrow..." he said.
"The Penguin club? Those guys that go out in the ocean in their bathing suits in this kind of weather...Hell, it's 19- 20 degrees.....You got that..No wonder you're the first Black man to join....You're the only one fool enough to jump in that water..." I laughed.
"Woww, that's intriguing Symphony Sam!! You're really going to do that? I watch them on television every year and while I think they're crazy, I still admire their courage." said Debbie.
"Yeah..it does take courage...takes a real man to do that..that's why I'm the first Black man to do it...Somebody gotta rep for the brothers..since REED here aint about to do it." he said.
"Ya Damn right...I'll rep for the brothas some other way." I laughed.
''What other way Reed?" asked Debbie.
"What? ,What are you trying to say?" I asked incredulous!
"Nothing...Nothing, forget about it...I was just kidding." she laughed.
"No....Nahhh, No you weren't...You were dead serious..You think I'm afraid to jump in that water don't you?" I said.
"Reed, forget about it...let it go.." she said.
I knew she wasn't......This was why so many men have gone to early deaths and are locked up for life in prison. They were all trying to impress some woman.
"Forget about it Reed...This is my thing....this seperates the men from the boys." said Symphony Sam.
"Screw you...Where is their office? Do you have a number?? If you can do this...I'm pretty sure I can do this." I snapped.
"Reed..Reed, forget about it....I don't care about that..For real." said Debbie.
"Nah..I'm gonna show you..the real Reed Nelson." I said.
The next morning..I stood in the lobby of our hotel in some baggy swim trunks that came down to my knees..I had on a black sweat shirt that said "Newport Jazz Festival." I was freezing..It was 30 degrees outside. A white guy dressed only in red speedos and flip flops walked up to me and asked-
"You're going out with us?"
"Yeah..you guys are the Penguins aren't you?" I asked.
'Yes..we are...First time we've ever had a , er uh..well ahh."
"An African-American?" I asked.
"Well...well..uh..ahhhh..." he said.
"It's okay...My people don't like being cold and we generally don't go for this type of thing. This year you have two of us competing." I said.
"Yeah...Cindy is competing....but she jumped in with us last year...We just never had a Black male join in." he said.
"Well there is another Black man running with us...He was already signed up..
a musician...Symphony Sam." I said.
"Symphony Sam? Nobody by that name signed up." he said.
"Oh and if you're running with us...you have to lose the t-shirt..only the ladies are allowed to wear t-shirts in the water." He said.
I looked across from me....Practically all of the males were white and of varying sizes and shapes.. Most of them had on speedos..A few were more modest like me. I was the only African-American male.. I saw the black female named Cindy. She was wearing a bikini and was looking pretty damn sporty. She seemed releived to see me..another black person in this sea of white faces.
I couldn't beleive that Symphony Sam...What a blowhard...I was going to kill him when I saw him. There was close to two hundred people..We all trotted to the beach. I looked up on the boardwalk..Debbie was there with a camera. She waved at me and smiled...She blew kisses to me.. Normally,I would have been turned on..Well actually,I was...Cindy and two white women looked at the growing bulge in my shorts and smiled slyly at each other... An Asian woman who was also in the group walked by me looked at me and winked.. I was glad that Debbie was up on the boardwalk and couldn't see this....It was keeping my mind off of how cold I was...
"Okay folks...let's GO!" said the group leader. We were off and we ran on the beach...Even the sand was cold...Good lord!!!!! We ran and waves and waves of us ran into the Atlantic Ocean....
OHHHHHHHH GOODDD GAWDDDDDDD! This water was cold and it hit me like a right cross from Mike Tyson to the jaw! I tried to think of Debbie's sexy body...The sexy body of Cindy...The two white women and the Asian woman who gawked at my erection.....It wasn't working this time...I was too cold...
I swam a little bit...Then I just gave it up...Luckily, the group wasn't staying..
They were running back and I was running back with them. Some guy from one of the newspapers snapped my photo..snapped Cindy's and The Asian girl's photo too... Another advancement for minorities....We could be as big a fool as white folks I suppose!
Back in the hotel...Debbie wrapped me in towells and walked me back to our room. Our room was very warm...
"I was so proud of you Reed....Oh my God...but for real, you didn't have to do that..I don't care about that stuff.." she cooed as she snuggled up next to me under the covers..She began massaging my penis in her hands...
"Ouuuuuu, it doesn't take long for you under any circumstances does it Reed?" she laughed as I pulled her robe up and rolled over on top of her...
"Ohhhh baby.." she moaned....
"Ummmmmmmm..." I said, returning her moans.
Two weeks later, I walked into Josies Bar in Philadelphia...It was our night to play... Chess, Chris Thompson, Kevin,Clerow, Sean Jackson, Robert Foxworth,
Conrad Nelson,Paris, Blake and Chance Howard all stood up and began applauding when I walked in... Gus the bartender whistled and yelled out-
"There he is..Penguin boy..let's hear it for the first Black Penguin.." he yelled as
the entire room exploded in laughter, applauding and clapping... Cock Robbins
walked up to me ,slapped me on the back and said-
"Man, you got a pair on you...I couldn't have done it."
"I wouldn't have done it.....gotta give you a pound on that." said Fathead Newton giving me dap.
"Boss man, you the man." laughed "88"
Symphony Sam sat at the bar with the others laughing his head off....
"Boyyy Reed..I didn't think you'd do it...but I thought I'd give it a try just to see if I could get you to do it." he said. Gus pulled out a group of five or six twenties and reluctantly handed them to Symphony Sam.
''Damn Reed...Ah tole him wasn't no way no Black man in his right mind would
jump in that damn ocean in this kind of weather...and I knew I was takin his money." same Gus.
I laughed, put my head down....looked at Gus and then said-
"It's okay Gus , the payback was worth it."
Gus just snarled.... "Get a damn woman involved and a man will jump off the Golden Gate bridge."
Everybody in the bar erupted in laughter...Good Times....
We were playing in a new joint right off the boardwalk in Atlantic City...It was nice to hear a crowd that still appreciated real jazz and didn't need to hear us "smooth" it out by doing versions of today's popular r&b hits. I mean I did that to pay the bills- a man has got to eat and have a roof over his head...but I'm a jazz man baby..through and through.
I looked down in the crowd and there was my girlfriend, Debbie...She was looking extra good...She was wearing a black turtle neck sweater that had diamond shaped openings in the arms that showed off her beautiful dark skin.
Her jeans were so tight, they looked like they were painted on. It was all I could do to concentrate on my solo..
Guys were nearly dropping their drinks walking past her, I loved it! After our set was over....I sat with her in the customer area of the club. We smiled at each
other...
"What are you drinking doll?" I asked.
"An Appletini....I know that you don't want that?" she said.
"Nahh, too tame for me." I laughed.....Truth was..I didn't want any alcohol at all..I was thinking of getting Debbie up to our hotel room and peeling those jeans off of her.
Just as I was getting ready to get her coat , I hear a familiar, yet annoying voice.
"Heyyyyy ,Deborah..is that you babe?" came the voice. It was "Symphony Sam"
another Trumpet player and band leader. We had played a few dates together before. I couldn't stand him...He was a grandstander , he was loud and obnoxious and worse..He never saw somebody else's lady that he didn't think he should have too.
"Deb you know this goldbrick?" I whispered.
" Oh yes...who doesn't know Symphony Sam?" she laughed. "We dated breifly, but nothing came of it." she said non-chalantly.
''Wellllllll...I see you've met Reed Nelson....." he drawled.
"She's more than met me ,we are exclusive." I retorted.
"Ohhhhh, exclusive..well excusssse the hell outta me." he said.
"Hi Sam..how are you?" said Debbie.
"I'm good....good...You know Reed..I was Debbie's first love..heh heh heh.." he
laughed.
"Really Symphony Sam? That's not what she said...She told me that it was breif.. You know , they have something for that problem...it's called Viagra." I said.
"Ohh ho hooooo...good one Reed, good one..." He snapped.
"Come on guys..knock it off ." said Debbie.
"It's okay Deb...I'm not worried about Reed..I've got bigger fish to fry. I've joined the Penguin club...Yup..First Black man to ever join...We are going out in the water tomorrow..." he said.
"The Penguin club? Those guys that go out in the ocean in their bathing suits in this kind of weather...Hell, it's 19- 20 degrees.....You got that..No wonder you're the first Black man to join....You're the only one fool enough to jump in that water..." I laughed.
"Woww, that's intriguing Symphony Sam!! You're really going to do that? I watch them on television every year and while I think they're crazy, I still admire their courage." said Debbie.
"Yeah..it does take courage...takes a real man to do that..that's why I'm the first Black man to do it...Somebody gotta rep for the brothers..since REED here aint about to do it." he said.
"Ya Damn right...I'll rep for the brothas some other way." I laughed.
''What other way Reed?" asked Debbie.
"What? ,What are you trying to say?" I asked incredulous!
"Nothing...Nothing, forget about it...I was just kidding." she laughed.
"No....Nahhh, No you weren't...You were dead serious..You think I'm afraid to jump in that water don't you?" I said.
"Reed, forget about it...let it go.." she said.
I knew she wasn't......This was why so many men have gone to early deaths and are locked up for life in prison. They were all trying to impress some woman.
"Forget about it Reed...This is my thing....this seperates the men from the boys." said Symphony Sam.
"Screw you...Where is their office? Do you have a number?? If you can do this...I'm pretty sure I can do this." I snapped.
"Reed..Reed, forget about it....I don't care about that..For real." said Debbie.
"Nah..I'm gonna show you..the real Reed Nelson." I said.
The next morning..I stood in the lobby of our hotel in some baggy swim trunks that came down to my knees..I had on a black sweat shirt that said "Newport Jazz Festival." I was freezing..It was 30 degrees outside. A white guy dressed only in red speedos and flip flops walked up to me and asked-
"You're going out with us?"
"Yeah..you guys are the Penguins aren't you?" I asked.
'Yes..we are...First time we've ever had a , er uh..well ahh."
"An African-American?" I asked.
"Well...well..uh..ahhhh..." he said.
"It's okay...My people don't like being cold and we generally don't go for this type of thing. This year you have two of us competing." I said.
"Yeah...Cindy is competing....but she jumped in with us last year...We just never had a Black male join in." he said.
"Well there is another Black man running with us...He was already signed up..
a musician...Symphony Sam." I said.
"Symphony Sam? Nobody by that name signed up." he said.
"Oh and if you're running with us...you have to lose the t-shirt..only the ladies are allowed to wear t-shirts in the water." He said.
I looked across from me....Practically all of the males were white and of varying sizes and shapes.. Most of them had on speedos..A few were more modest like me. I was the only African-American male.. I saw the black female named Cindy. She was wearing a bikini and was looking pretty damn sporty. She seemed releived to see me..another black person in this sea of white faces.
I couldn't beleive that Symphony Sam...What a blowhard...I was going to kill him when I saw him. There was close to two hundred people..We all trotted to the beach. I looked up on the boardwalk..Debbie was there with a camera. She waved at me and smiled...She blew kisses to me.. Normally,I would have been turned on..Well actually,I was...Cindy and two white women looked at the growing bulge in my shorts and smiled slyly at each other... An Asian woman who was also in the group walked by me looked at me and winked.. I was glad that Debbie was up on the boardwalk and couldn't see this....It was keeping my mind off of how cold I was...
"Okay folks...let's GO!" said the group leader. We were off and we ran on the beach...Even the sand was cold...Good lord!!!!! We ran and waves and waves of us ran into the Atlantic Ocean....
OHHHHHHHH GOODDD GAWDDDDDDD! This water was cold and it hit me like a right cross from Mike Tyson to the jaw! I tried to think of Debbie's sexy body...The sexy body of Cindy...The two white women and the Asian woman who gawked at my erection.....It wasn't working this time...I was too cold...
I swam a little bit...Then I just gave it up...Luckily, the group wasn't staying..
They were running back and I was running back with them. Some guy from one of the newspapers snapped my photo..snapped Cindy's and The Asian girl's photo too... Another advancement for minorities....We could be as big a fool as white folks I suppose!
Back in the hotel...Debbie wrapped me in towells and walked me back to our room. Our room was very warm...
"I was so proud of you Reed....Oh my God...but for real, you didn't have to do that..I don't care about that stuff.." she cooed as she snuggled up next to me under the covers..She began massaging my penis in her hands...
"Ouuuuuu, it doesn't take long for you under any circumstances does it Reed?" she laughed as I pulled her robe up and rolled over on top of her...
"Ohhhh baby.." she moaned....
"Ummmmmmmm..." I said, returning her moans.
Two weeks later, I walked into Josies Bar in Philadelphia...It was our night to play... Chess, Chris Thompson, Kevin,Clerow, Sean Jackson, Robert Foxworth,
Conrad Nelson,Paris, Blake and Chance Howard all stood up and began applauding when I walked in... Gus the bartender whistled and yelled out-
"There he is..Penguin boy..let's hear it for the first Black Penguin.." he yelled as
the entire room exploded in laughter, applauding and clapping... Cock Robbins
walked up to me ,slapped me on the back and said-
"Man, you got a pair on you...I couldn't have done it."
"I wouldn't have done it.....gotta give you a pound on that." said Fathead Newton giving me dap.
"Boss man, you the man." laughed "88"
Symphony Sam sat at the bar with the others laughing his head off....
"Boyyy Reed..I didn't think you'd do it...but I thought I'd give it a try just to see if I could get you to do it." he said. Gus pulled out a group of five or six twenties and reluctantly handed them to Symphony Sam.
''Damn Reed...Ah tole him wasn't no way no Black man in his right mind would
jump in that damn ocean in this kind of weather...and I knew I was takin his money." same Gus.
I laughed, put my head down....looked at Gus and then said-
"It's okay Gus , the payback was worth it."
Gus just snarled.... "Get a damn woman involved and a man will jump off the Golden Gate bridge."
Everybody in the bar erupted in laughter...Good Times....
19 comments:
The lengths people will go to impress the opposite sex. Great story.
Great Story Keith!
This was hillarious ,I laughed until I cried...
You are crazy Keith!lol
ROTFLMBAO...He should have kicked Symphony Sam's ass and dropped Debbie for halfway goading him into that! lol
Incredible Storytelling!
That was funny,really enjoyed this!
I agree with Tate 2...I would have definitely have punched Symphony Sam out!
You are off the chain family,rotflmbao!
You just keep getting better and better and giving us great literature.
Good one!
The things you guys will do to impress a female..lolololol.
I'm cracking up...I wouldn't have done that for no dude! lol.
@Vanessa- Girl...you aint never lied...You wouldn't see me jumpin in no ocean in the dead of winter.
A very entertaining little outing.
I really liked this...No mayhem..just a lot of laughs.
ROTFLMBAO...See that's the difference between men and women..A woman wouldn't have done that..a woman would have told Debbie and Symphony sam to go to hell.LOL.
Good Story, but I would have liked more of a sex scene..you only teased us.
@anonymous- I know, you needed something you could throw your panties up in the air about!
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